-bAbOoN jOyjOy- 0(^oo^)0

2010-04-28T19:28:00.004+08:00

my new blog link...

www.spongepat-joyjoy.blogspot.com

=)

2010-03-31T16:53:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,

I failed again.. oh gosh.. what the hell has happened to me this year?

everything seems to go wrong for me =(

what the fucking hell..

2010-03-31T00:07:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I'm going MAD from the shitty loads of projects and assignments!! most stressful thing is a few more hours i'll be retaking my 2nd driving test!! please pray hard i will pass!! if not tmr sure die one.. got 2 projects to do after the test.. please..i dun want to be like last monday!! 2nd big blow to me..please GOD BUDDHA!! wish that everything will go smoothly~~~~thank you!!

stressed!! projects and all are so last minute!! all deadlines come at the same time.. i cant believe this semester is ending!!!! OMG!!!

lost faith in CO...

wad's my next motivation????

T_T

2010-02-11T00:43:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today went gym but didnt run for very long.. cos felt so tired and breathless.. after that went shopping with shirley =) bought clothes n jeans n CNY goodies! then something really funny happened.. we went to takashimaya departmental store cos' i wanna ask the sales lady about the nail polish colour code for OPI brand.. cos' last fri went to do pedicure at Novena Sq then unknowingly my right big toe nail colour got smudged!! argh >.<"" $18!! so last week actually went to taka and asked the lady whether she know which colour is my toenail colour that they have.. then she said i have the same colour as her.. then she said something to me about "she's not really a waitress..." and i was stunned.. cos' i didnt ask her like i'm asking a waitress something.. and as she was like so eager to off work, her attitude towards a customer wasnt kind at all.. so today i went back and it was the same person..and i asked the same thing cos she only told me the colour.."deep red" but not the code or something.. and guess wad! she said the same thing about her not being a waitress.

-.- I was dumbfounded! so i clarified with her and replied "ugh?? wad waitress??" and she told me that the name of the colour!! "I'm not really a waitress" H08.. lol.. OMG!! and she said OPI is famous for these special weird names...lol! and i'm totally misunderstood her..lol.. then i told her i thought she was scolding me or something..lol!!

wad an embarrassment!

but they sell too ex alrdy $24.. cant believe NUS is selling that..for only $15!! so damn cheap..i'm gonna buy tmr to repair my toenail colour =(

after that I went to aljunied for a channel U news filming with mike, weikang and ridzwan.. oh man! this will be the 3rd time i'll be on tv! so excited! the person say most prob either on this coming sat 10pm channel 8 news.. or sun 7pm channel u news!! oh man.. it'll be either on CNY eve or CNY day! =DD

lol!!

after that went to trim my fringe.. a bit messy le.. kef is still so kind! =)

then went chinatown for singing.. ended super late at 11pm plus.. T_T everything was delayed and i was the 3rd last person to sing -.- but i sung 我爱她 by 叮当.. this is the main theme song from the latest very super duper popular taiwan drama 下一站，幸福! i'm so damn addicted to it!!!!! felt happy for having to successfully finished watching 海派甜心 too! ^_^

ZzZz..sleepy..tmr sch again..

busy busy busy~~~~

2010-01-21T23:57:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I am almost going to burst!! Suddenly this year super good business man! so many gigs! that means more $$$! yay!! But it can be very stressful cos' have to plan my time and squeeze in all nicely till I am like running a marathon to different places. But it feels good to be packed with so many stuffs =) maybe I love to be a busy lady..rushing here n there.. exciting life..lol... =)

yay..i can't wait to perform in all the gigs! but there's just one gig which i really feel uncomfortable and kinda dislike.. cos have to wear a pink tube skirt.. and the skirt is damn short.. with white long boots.. hai.. i feel that i look like a fat pig on stage wearing that.. cos my arms and thighs are huge.. and the boots get stuck halfway -.-

but then i'm still trying hard to workout my body =) have been going to the gym, running at punggol park and swimming for going 3 months alrdy! And i love going to the gym now! I love to run..listening to the dance beat music it really gives me a lot of motivation to complete my 5km. =) My aim is to lose another 5kg before CNY! jiayou joyce! I think sometimes school does help cos' wont have time to think of food..and i dont feel the urge to eat too..cos have to rush for classes and all the workload is piling up.. T_T

I wanna try for syco concerto this march =) have to jiayou le!! my new motivation for this year =)

perhaps I can still be happy without a dependent.. as i have alrdy survived and being happy for almost 5weeks alrdy. Maybe I have alrdy see things through and finally let go.. what a relief~ =)) *phew phew* I also realised that no one will care what we do.. so we have to solve our own problems and not keep on complaining to others..cos in the end we have to face the problem ourselves and overcome them. And it is really workable.. my failures like driving test.. and super bad results for 1st semester.. these are the 2 important stuffs that i have to overcome and fight! My 2nd test will be on 31March.. and this semester i am going to work even harder! focus joyce! I can do it! ^_^

I am really looking forward to a brand new start.. I want to forget about all the unhappiness and emo feeling.. and stop questioning and thinking about friendships and drowned in the confusion of relationships.. And I feel like changing my blog skin.. shall ask james to help me.. but he seems busy.. =/

anyway, today Theatre Studies practical was super relaxing and fun! we played games throughout the 2hrs.. we played the cat n mouse game, Nectar of God and counting to 21 with our eyes close. Learned about working as a group. really meaningful! =D I really hope this is what i am going to major in. =)

Today Dr Samuel Wong came down to give us a talk about chinese music. it was really enjoyable and interesting to hear how he gave his speech! lol.. this is the 2nd time i've heard him giving a talk..first was many years ago at SRSCO changi chalet..think was in 2003 or 2004? =X It seemed a bit weird cos we are colleagues teaching jps tgt =).. Anyway, I've learnt more about CO history.. which i hope to pass down the knowledge to my students.. esp jps! oh gosh.. talking about them.. we need to work harder le.. it seems that my section is the weakest. hai..syf in april.. T_T

jia you =))

New Year New Start =)

2010-01-07T22:35:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Its been so damn long since I last blogged.. lazy..lol.. anyway, today damn shagged.. just came home from 3days2nights chalet =)It's the best chalet ever so far man! I've enjoyed it so much with srsco buddies like Angie, Jason, James, Derek, Ming Kwang, Jun Jie, Yi Jia, Yik Loong and our juniors who came on the BBQ night! =))

Wanted to go on monday evening but heard that the guys are not doing much things so decided to go on tuesday afternoon instead =D heh.. then played a lot of fun games la!! I didnt know i'm afraid of balloon =X wth.. lol.. enjoyed screaming my heart out.. and all the laughter and fun!! like suddenly all my stress disappeared.. i like the summer breeze dining place =) the atmosphere was romantic with the cozy wind!! Drank a new beer.. but not really nice.. think Hoe Garden still the best.. =) tried a new alcohol milky taste.. superb! =) then wed was the best la! went to wild wild wet with Angie, Derek and James! It was so fun! All of us kena roasted in the sun! But shiok! Havent felt this happy before.. the BBQ was even better! lol.. celebrated Ming Kwang and Jason's birthdays =) then played more games after that with the juniors around, it was more fun!! ^_^

Hope to have more gatherings like this in the future!! =D heehee..

After that went to meet chujun to shop at orchard!! wheee~~ =D

then went gym to chiong again.. i've been sinned.. ate a lot during BBQ yesterday cos' bought too many food..=X

this week last week before semester 2 begins.. hope semester 2 will be a better journey for me.. must work hard and pia pia pia.. and my 2nd trial driving too!! and vocal grade 6 exam!! and aiming for syco concerto!! and so many more!! oh man.. i'm going crazy..lol!! =D

hai..

2009-10-03T12:20:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,

Happy Mooncake Festival =)

My first dizi solo concerto performance

2009-08-24T19:39:00.008+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday 23Aug2009 was a special and memoriable day of my life. Haha! I had my first ever Dizi solo concerto at the Esplanade Concert Hall, after waiting for 8yrs of my life in CO! I am so happy that my last wish to play solo concerto with the orchestra accompanying me has come true! Although my wish was to have SCO accompany me for SYCO annual concert solo..it is still a wish come true and a great experience/opportunity for me! My next target will be to try hard for SYCO concerto next year cos' I was not selected to play this year =(

I'm so glad that the concert was a success! But what I really regretted was not playing perfectly on stage..=( I didnt know why my lips were suddenly so tight till I couldnt play out the high notes at the beginning of the piece. However, I was glad and thankful that I managed to save my piece and play better at the back. I also received comments that I was hunching my back while playing too. This i really have to change.. haix.. haha.. and I got a shock when I heard my recording which my best friend had secretly recorded for me..I kept rushing my piece throughout.. but thankful that I didnt flop. lol.. phew~

Actually for the past few rehearsals from thursday-saturday, I only went through my whole piece once, which was on saturday. Then sunday I went through the whole piece again the 2nd time during full-run, and the last time was during the concert itself. For the past practices, ZLS skipped my 2 cadenza solo parts.. so i didn't get a lot of chance to play the full piece =( then I was quite sad that my song was usually the last piece to rehearse, when everyone was alrdy very tired and wanted to go home. Maybe it was my fault for not being on time for practices. haix. or was it becos' ZLS thought that I have no problem at all so didn't need much practice? But actually I was very scared and not very confident..but seeing everyone so tired..even myself..and also the lack of time..I didnt dare to request anything..

I was also quite unhappy with whom I thought was a more closer clique of friends..I have known them even longer than my other groups of friends..and despite asking them 3times.. most didnt even bother to reply me whether they're coming or not to watch my concert. If they could just reply me even though they aren't interested to watch, or find the tickets too expensive, at least just reply me and I can understand. But then they didnt even bother. The reason why I kept on asking them whether they wanted to watch was because I really hoped they could come or at least give me a reply so that I'll know. If I don't treat them as impt, I wouldn't have wasted so many msges on them. So forget it. Maybe they are just friends for entertainment purposes and not friends who will be there for you to support you when you really want them to be present and share your happiness tgt. haix.. I was quite sad over the past few days..really disappointed..kept on thinking why.. now I realise.. and I shld just forget about it and 看开. Its really better to have 1 best friend who supports you, than so many friends who dont care.

What I am really grateful of are those friends who came to watch and support me although we aren't really close or don't hang out often. I am really thankful touched and happy that y'all came! Some even came to watch despite having their exam week! Thank you SPCO peeps!! =')

I also want to thank so many ppl for encouraging me, wishing me good luck and asked me to jiayou! All your encouragements and good wishes really helped!!

Thank You firstly my Mother, Ah Mei, Ah Jie.. my family~my loves~ though I was abit disappointed with my aunt.. long story~ dun wanna say le~

Thank You my Bestest Friend Forever-Raymond! Without your encouragement, advice, support, listening ear, to be always there for me, I think I would have alrdy sunk into depression. =)) For the past few days you've been listening to my tears. Sorry! =(

Thank You my dizi lao shi-Hong Lao Shi! Without your guidance, I think I wouldnt have played the song better..=)

Thank You my poly buddies Chiew Hsia and Yue Ting! Even though I know both of you aren't really interested in CO, y'all thought of coming to watch but I know Uni Life is stressful and busy! Thanks Chiew Hsia for listening to me too~! and your great support!! ^^

Thank You my friends who msged me great wishes/came to watch my performance! Thank You - William, Koen, Jackson, Joanne, XueQi, XiangLe, PeiCheng, Mervin, Jake, James, Shirley, Sam, Beeyan, Hazel, MeiHui, Jonathan, HsienHan, SYCO peeps, SPCO peeps, EVCO peeps, my Echomusic Vocal teacher Esther, Simon, Wanling, my dizi Student Hana, and I am sorry if I missed out anyone else!

I am also very happy that PeiQi went to buy a spongebob underpants for me as an encouragement gift! Really happy! my favourite! And ChuJun for giving me a flower and a card that I can keep! Thanks for listening to me also! =))

I am really happy to receive so many gifts and flowers! its the happiest moment ever! Thank You Esther and Simon for the flowers, EVCO for the flowers, my dear AhMei for the flowers, SPCO and SYCO for the flowers and chocolates! Thank You dear Raymond for the cute Monkey~!! Its really so disappointing that Esplanade doesnt allow audiences to present gifts..=( I know you wanted to surprise me =) I love the monkey a lot! Thanks for helping me record my solo!!! <3 Thank You dear AhJie for the cute sheep named Debbie! Quite sad that I forgot or didnt have the chance to take photos with the others! =(

Thank You MinHui for the bananas! It really helped! and I felt so stupid la..I was in a rush to find ppl after the concert ended that I actually forgotten my dizi! lol! so blur me! Thanks for helping me carry my dizi even though you had to carry so many things and 2 ruans! Oh man.. I really felt so guilty! You've played really well and I enjoy chatting with you!! haha.. and our peranakan costumes! ^_^

Thank You ZLS for giving me this great opportunity to perform this solo concerto and also the 2 tickets you've bought for minhui and I each! Im so sorry if I didnt do my part well as a student/member in the orchestra! =D

Thank you ppl for your honest comments you've given me! I'll try to improve on my weaknesses and to focus on my strengths too!

Thank You! ='))

heehee~

=)

My New soft toy family =)))

2009-08-13T13:26:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was my 1st day of school at NUS. Didnt have the 1st day of school feeling. so weird.. unlike poly.. the feeling was really weird and bad.. in the morning i was really happy touched and grateful! chiew hsia and yue ting accompanied me to my 1st lecture at 10am =) cos' yueting had break from 10-12pm as tutorials have not started.. then chiew hsia actually didnt have lesson until 12pm too.. but she accompanied me at SK station all the way to NUS. =) thank you my dear girl friends!! =)) heehee.. We took train to harbour front instead.. cos i had stomachache on the way..hai.. dunno was it bcos i was very nervous or wad.. then we took bus 10 from harbour front to kent ridge interchange =)

first lecture was Southeast Asian Studies.. one of my exposure modules.. it was great and the lecturers were funny! =) at first i thought the module would be boring.. cos' i've heard from other friends that it is hard.. and the title Southeast Asia Studies sounds like social studies.. but it was ok..

then we were released earlier.. then Tian Hwee joined us =) at 12pm Chiew and Yue went for their lecture while I had lunch with Tian Hwee at Mac.. =)

everything was alright before that..

then after lunch.. we went separate ways for different lectures..

i went for my jap film and anime lecture.. i thought it would be interesting..

but the lecturer, an old lady prof.. gave us a really not so nice 1st impression.. her first words were like "if you don't like this class, you can leave the room" like as if telling us that if we are bu shuang attending this class we can get lost..

kao..

then after that she had her lecture.. then i sat alone.. no friends..

realised very hard to make friends.. didnt know how to start.. like so different from poly.. haix..

then the 2nd hour.. we watched a film.. showing the different eras of japanese films.. but then.. dunno why they kept showing those nude scenes of different films.. -.-"" then the lecturer was so weird.. said that if we don't want to watch the nude scenes then we can leave..-.- diao.. but then the thing was we alrdy saw then she say.. she should have let us know that the video would have nude scenes before she played it.. dots man!

then i really felt so sian.. like i've chosen the wrong module..=(

then after the lesson ended.. i really felt like dropping this module.. cos' i dun understand at all... all the old films.. dun understand why..

i thought this module would teach us about modern film and anime.. cos i love anime.. but turns out to be.. we'll only be covering on 2 animes.. and the rest are films..

haix..

then after the class.. i headed to my last lecture for the day from 4-6pm..
it was sociology exposure module..

the class was huge.. about 450ppl in the LT.. T_T i've nv attended a class in a LT with so many ppl before. its so weird..

then i sat alone.. cos' i didnt know anyone who's taking the same module.. a bit of a loner again.. haix..

then at first i saw quite a lot of ppl who sat alone.. and i thought maybe they also didnt have friends.. but when the class was about to start.. more ppl came in.. and actually they are their friends.. they came in earlier to chop seats for them.. haix.. then i looked around again.. like im the one sitting alone..

it was horrible.. i didnt understand wad the lecturer was talking.. abit of bias.. cos' he kept saying JC JC JC.. like as if the class had no one who came from poly..=(

felt left out..

so sucky feeling..

then e funny thing was.. i didnt think that there was anything to write or take down any notes.. but i looked around and saw ppl writing on their lecture notes.. like as if so many things to take down..

then i felt weird that i was like the only one not writing anything.. so in the end.. i just took out my pencil and try to write something which i didnt even know wad i was writing about..

the lecture was boring.. the module was even more boring.. i thought sociology is an interesting course.. to know about how ppl behave and think.. but it didnt turn out to be wad i had expected..

actually even thought of majoring in either sociology or theatre studies.. but now i confirm im not going to major in sociology le..

monday i'll be attending my theatre studies module.. hope it will be good..

if not..

perhaps..

i'll quit school at the end of the yr..

haix..

sad again.. cos' i've msged so many ppl regarding my first ever solo perf.. but only 2 or 3 replied me said they'll be going.. the rest didnt reply.. then some replied but said they not going..=(

felt weird.. like not enough practice.. conductor went for holiday.. next sunday performance le..=(( last sun prac cancelled due to NDP.. this sun cancelled due to conductor holiday.. then only have next thur,fri and sat to rehearse..

i really hope everything will go well..

God, Buddha, Guan Yin Pu Sa..pls Bao You Wo!!

2009-07-02T12:14:00.001+08:00

im STRESSED

You're My Hero

2009-06-20T00:07:00.001+08:00

My friend when I think of you,
I think of all that we've been through.
All the times we argue and fight,
I know deep inside that it isn't right.
I'd feel guilty and alot of pain.
It feels like I'm the teardrops of the rain.
I love you dear friend with all of my heart.
I hope our friendship will never fall apart.
Although I am bad at giving advice,
I'll try even harder to listen to you twice.
I want to be there for you in times of need,
To support you always till you succeed.
Sometimes I may not totally understand,
The thoughts in your mind that you've planned.
Give me some more time for me to change,
And I assure you that it will not be strange.
The complications and confusion in my mind,
Are the things that I want to leave behind.
Let's treasure our friendship like we used to be,
Cuz' you're my hero and that's a guarantee!

--------------------------------------------------

I wrote this first ever original poem for my bestest friend.

But don't know why I'm feeling very lost and afraid now
Suddenly there's so many things going through my mind
Im afraid of many things
Going Uni.. a total stranger course
The friends that I will be making
Will I accept their different mindsets and thinkings?
Recently have gone out with a new group of friends
But it was just so weird that I couldn't understand
Can I really accept it..the changes around me that are going to happen?
My dizi solo in Aug..
Frankly speaking I have not been practicing a lot..
And I hate myself for not doing so
I'm afraid that my first ever solo perf at Esplanade concert hall will be a disaster!
I'm afraid that I will not overcome my stage fright
I'm afraid of moving on..
I'm afraid of losing my loved ones
I'm afraid of losing the happy times that I'm enjoying now

I'm afraid I'm going emo..again..

2009-05-22T00:49:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

oh man.. I just watched the replay of American Idol Finale Results.. and Im a little bit sad that Adam Lambert didn't win American Idol =( haix..

I think he is really superb!! I love his vocals!! =)) so powerful!!

Adam Lambert Rocks!! ^^

I love his "No Boundaries"

2009-05-16T18:45:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today I did a good deed =) I went to Dhoby Ghaut to donate blood. The blood donation drive is until tomorrow. So ppl who wanna do a good deed can go there to donate! It's painless and very satisfying to the heart!

The last time I donated blood was in 2006 in SP. 3 yrs le..how time flies~ =) The whole process took me 2 whole hrs!! But the wait was indeed worth it! I feel very happy after I donated =)

Hope my blood will save someone's life! =))

heehee...

2009-05-06T00:50:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

I wondered how I got over with my ex bf few yrs back so fast.. think i got over with him after few weeks later. Although sometimes I will miss him and recall back of the happy and romantic moments we shared, still.. it is all in the past already.. no point looking back.. cos' feelings have changed..

I guess the solution to get over something is to be real occupied with sooo many things so that you'll become so busy until you don't have the time, mind or energy to think. And also to minimise contact like sms or even go out.. that was how I got over with him so fast.. lol.. of course, I had my friends' and family's support at that down period of my time..

but then how to get over with feelings of love for a friend whom I will never want to lose? cos' I treasure the friendship so much that I will never ever bear to destroy it with my own hands! many years of good friendship slowly becoming to real best friend/companions..trust..care and concern..happiness.. it will be foolish of me to break it!

I've tried so hard.. I can't bear to minimise contact or going out.. no matter how busy I am, I will still find time to spend with my best friend. Cos' I enjoy being with my best friend and I feel that I am being myself when I'm with my best friend. There's nothing to hide, even my bad habits.. I don't have to worry about entrusting most of my deepest secrets, feelings, problems or gossips with my best friend! My best friend is a great problem solver and I got to learn a lot of meaningful yet useful trips from my best friend! Most of all.. I love my best friend! =')

I keep on telling myself not to think so much and that I will change or get rid of my weird and wrongful thinkings.. but then.. is it wrong to love my best friend? but sometimes it gets so frustrating and hurtful that it harms our friendship..especially when it becomes one-sided.. or maybe my love for my best friend is just love for a friend.. not BGR.. maybe I'm confused all the while..

But I've always thought.. how good it will be if we can remain like this forever.. I don't need all the romantic sweet actions.. cos' we have been really good and close even without body contacts..

how good it will be if my best friend will go through my life with me..and continue to help me along the way..

how good it will be if we could still go out and watch movies at nights together for as long as possible.. but things do not turn out the way we think they will be.. maybe we would say or predict that we can still be as close as how we are when both of us have found another so-called "life partner".. but then how will we know when we have not experienced it? There will surely be a lot of other problems arising.. cos' we would then have to think of our own "life partner" first right.. how many bf/gf would be so generous to allow or entrust their bf/gf to go out until so late with their other gender friend who have even known their own bf/gf even longer than themselves? Even if they are so generous or open-minded, but then of course all these outings with our best friends would be lesser and lesser.. it is natural and logical that we spend most time with our bf/gf right..

But what is exactly the feeling of BGR? I'm sometimes so confused till I've forgotten what it is.. is it just heart-beating fast or feeling of shyness when you see the guy you love or when you see him you don't dare to look at him straight in the eye? Or is it when you'll keep on thinking about the guy every moment at least once every single day? Or always looking at your HP hoping the guy you love will msg you or call you or even better, ask you out? Or is it when you see the guy you love going out or playing with other girls and you get so jealous till you want to get his attention so he'll know? is that called the so-called 'special' feeling?

Sometimes life gets to a point where you cannot remain in your comfort and blissful zone.. I hate changes in life! but will a change be a better solution to all these problems? or will it not? I have to face it somehow.. be it lost, rejects, regrets, deaths, disasters, illnesses or even good things.. the day will arrive somehow.. just that sometimes we people enjoy so much of our life now, that we want to extend it to as long as possible.. or hoping that time will stop. but we know that it will not happen..

Sometimes people say that if we love someone we should let the person know.. if not there might not be a chance and we may regret not doing so.. but sometimes getting a lot of rejects and empty hopes are making me lose confidence.. or am I just being stubborn thinking that if I keep on trying.. miracle will happen?

Some other people say that if we love someone we should let the person go.. this is called true generous love.. but not all people can do it.. we humans are selfish.. esp when it comes to love.. but of course, if we truly love someone, we also want him/her to be happy. If that person is unhappy by our repeating actions or behaviour or words, then what's love already? If both party are unhappy.. then isnt it better to have 1 of them to be happy rather than both to be unhappy? Anyway, I'm sure the person who will be heartbroken, depressed or sad.. will slowly recover from all the heartbreaks soon...just need the time to get over with it and move on..

I know that there is no result in force love.. of course I do not wish my life partner to be with me becos' he's forced too.. or bcos' he doesnt want me to get hurt.. or bcos' he wants me to happy. But I will definitely not be happy if he is forced to be with me.. and not bcos' he truly wants to.. Both parties will definitely end up being very painful and tired of sustaining the relationship which was never meant to be started..

love is so complicated and complex.. sometimes no matter how hard we try or commit.. we just cannot be together with the ones we truly love.. feelings are so complicated.. how good it will be if I know what the other party is thinking..

but still.. I love my best friend.. and I treasure both of our friendships! =)

I wish to have more best friends too =)) cos' the feeling of having a best friend is really very blessed!

2009-04-30T23:30:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

realised that recently I have become so emo.. but still, I'm grateful for everything and thankful for the people around me who have helped me or supported me or been with me or given me great advices or pointed out my bad points or given me opportunities or let me realised that I should not take things for granted..or been indecisive..

recently just graduated from the 1st batch of Star Program at Echomusic. Will miss the times having lesson with Raymond and Regina.. ='( haix.. best times ever.. cos' they made realise how fun singing is and I've found myself another passion which I never ever thought I will have before. but still.. haix..

feeling tired of CO sometimes.. cos' i've lost motivation, the push to accomplish something.. maybe I should faster go back have lesson with HLS.. but money is another prob.. though i have an opportunity to play solo for concerto in Chengsan CO but then its not confirmed.. cos' until now I havent receive my scores.. and think july is the concert le.. can i master the piece in 3 months? anyway.. now i'm really afraid ZLS will last min tell me that he cannot managed to buy a score for me to play.. and maybe it'll be time for me to quit.. i dunno..

another opportunity is teach..but then conductor still have to discuss with teacher in charge.. so I cant confirm.. last time he also asked me whether I wanted to teach and I readily and excitedly said yes.. but until syf over also no news.. but now.. i dunno..

lost my fixed part time job.. =(
lost my tuition.. =(
lesser recordings i suppose..=(

hmm..

am i emo again?

i'm such a complicated person with complicated feelings and complicated mind.. and funny thing is that I've been reading so many different self-help or inspirational bks recently but they doesn't seem to help.. though i understand what I must do or must not do.. in the end.. it seems to be the same..

stop the emo!!!!!

i'm a happy person... I cannot let my wild imaginations control me!!

i love my family and friends =)

2009-04-20T00:39:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

confused.. dun understand why ppl will think it that way.. cant accept their ways of thinking and actions.. but this is life.. have to accept ppl in order for them to accept you.. hmm.. dunno why murderers will have the thought of killing.. how can they bear to do it?? weird aye.. i cant understand ppl.. -.-

argh..

but i want to understand..

but will i have the patience or an open mind to accept it?

hmm...

i really wish to know..

I feel sad after hearing about the Jap war stories and how ppl used to torture ppl in the past. It was horrible!! inhumane!! >.<" that's why I hate violent gruesome shows or games! Why ppl will have these thoughts?? And when I heard about how ppl kill animals.. I was feeling really uncomfortable!! I know I have no rights to feel sorry.. cos' Im eating them every day.. but if ppl dun kill them then we dun eat rite.. kill le must eat if not like very waste of their sacrifice.. contradicting again.. haix.. =( but I know God created animals for us to eat.. but why will he do that if animals like us humans, have feelings too? why is God being unfair to the animals? hmm.. this is one thing i still dun understand.. maybe i hate unfairness.. but its too controversial to carry on.. so let's put it in this way.. as its the way nature works ba..

if everyone can be happy everyday.. living in peace and harmony.. being kind to others.. instead of showing a grumpy face.. show a happy and smiling face..the world will be so wonderful.. and no cops are needed.. but i guess lesser and lesser ppl are doing so.. i'll be in my dreamland for all these things to happen..

walk down on the streets.. always see ppl showing the "no feelings" face.. or grumpy.. or angry faces.. or even those irritated looking expressions.. especially in crowded places.. pushing each other.. even I have been following into their footsteps.. when we look into the stranger's eyes.. we would try our best to siam it fast so we dun have to give any expressions.. and if we suddenly look into their eyes for a sec and smile at them.. they might think we are mad.. or we mistook them for someone whom we know of?

thinking back.. last time when I was in pri sch.. I would give up a seat for the elderly and almost any adults or children who may need the seat more than I do.. and the feeling of being kind to them made me really happy! but as I grew up.. dunno why I only have the feeling of doing good to myself.. and that will be good enough.. I'm being more insensitive to ppl around me.. strangers esp..

isnt it weird.. or is it nature.. hmm.. weird humans..

today had a funny encounter inside the bus.. lol.. an indian man was being really inconsiderate.. putting his arms to rest on the back of the sofa seats.. and making the ppl seating beside him feeling so uncomfortable.. i wonder if he had armpit odour ma.. lol.. that'll be terrible!

but anyway, those ppl sitting beside him quickly changed seats to avoid him.. then suddenly when he was on the phone with someone.. he became very aggressive.. like going to kill someone! shouted over the phone loudly with vigourous hand signals! scared the few old aunties around him.. lol.. but luckily he alighted the bus very soon.. and so funny. the aunties for 15mins.. kept talking about him.. saying that he's abnormal.. and saying that if he did not leave the bus soon.. they would have changed seats.. as they were scared he might hit them out of his not-so-right mind..

hmm.. sometimes i really pity those ppl who are disabled.. esp those seating in wheel chairs selling tissues or begging for money etc.. but then i dunno why even though I feel sorry for them.. I still dunwan to donate money to them.. contradicting rite.. just that I feel that beggars arent really worth us to help them.. instead of begging others and looking down or giving up on oneself, why not do something which is more meaningful so that ppl will come and help you automatically? I really look up to those who are trying their best to stay strong and showing others that they are not looked down upon.. and they are like normal human beings like us..**salute them**

that's why i say that im being more insensitive nowadays.. hai.. i do wanna help.. but i just cant do it.. and sometimes when I look at them..esp beggars.. i despise them even more.. and i feel so bad about it!

life..

2009-03-31T23:51:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

don't know why.. I'm still thinking of him every single moment.. even if im outside with other friends..

weird aye..

I miss him.. /.\

I wonder does he think of me even if he's with other friends?

This feeling really ...

2009-03-31T00:14:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Its been some time since I blogged.. dont know why didnt feel like blogging for the past few wks.. like i prefer to write my daily happenings in my diary book instead.. maybe too personal? or just lazy to rewrite it 2 times..

haha..

anyway, I lost my voice 1 wk ago then because of that my singing perf at global sounds was cancelled.. haix.. sad man.. cos I had 2 opportunities to sing this month.. but 1st was cos' I had to attend Hazel's bday party so couldn't make it.. 2nd was lost voice.. haix..anyway, today I tried practicing at home.. i could feel that my high voice is returning soon..

I'm so happy that I'm singing this sat at Global..hee.. Thanks Esther for giving me another chance..hee.. cos' I wanna sing for the last time =) I'll do my best!!

have to sing 2 canto songs.. And I dont even know how to speak dialect.. so got the help from Mum.. haha.. translated the canto words into han yu pin yin.. and they sounded funny!

lol..

Past few days I was quite emo.. cos I was not chosen for SYCO concerto.. that was my 3rd time auditioning le.. haix.. quite disappointed..cos I didnt play well during the audition.. Ye Cong even asked me to skip to the kuai ban instead.. after playing the man ban halfway.. =(

haix.. And today heard that I was also not chosen for HK Camp..=( another blow..

I really don't know if I should continue SYCO next yr ma.. like not given a lot of opportunities.. like solo perf.. my next biggest dream is to have my own concerto perf.. but Im not sure whether it'll come true yet..

cos' Zheng Lao Shi's giving me a chance to perform solo for ChengSan's concert this yr.. but the song piece is not confirmed yet.. like very hard to find a suitable song for me.. so I cant confirm anything yet.. haix.. really hope it'll be confirmed soon! if not.. another blow.. and I don't know if I should continue playing dizi ma.. no motivation.. no direction.. no goals..

these few days very confused about many things.. and suddenly feel very lost..

about religions.. friends.. own personal confused mixed up feeling.. relationships.. future.. maybe I think too much le.. till sometimes I don't know what Im talking about.. even chatting with friends seem very weird..

haix..

anyway I got into NUS.. sch of Arts and Social Sciences.. still waiting for NTU's letter.. but most prob going NUS ba.. havent decide wad to major yet..

hope I can get the scholarship!

These few days also busy with recordings and helping with Eason Music Store.. cos' they are moving out their store.. having clearance sale too..

I also learnt about being prepared for last min changes.. which I dont know if its a gd or bad thing..lol.. haix.. just know that I cannot plan so much.. cos' last min things happen.. and my plans will be ruined.. but then its challenging in another sense.. haha.. ok la.. i need the job!! so.. I guess I will be able to handle it..

thinking of next month onwards.. i need to find other jobs in order to have more income le.. how!!!!

argh!! >.<"

DMAT Reunion =)

2009-03-08T01:27:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today went for DMAT class reunion at SP Vanda Room. =) Its been quite a while since I last saw many of my coursemates =))

hee.. Today was really a fun and memoriable day! Catching up with my fellow friends and lecturers! =)) Hope we'll have more of these gatherings next time!! But sad cos' not a lot came.. only half the 1st batch of students came back.. =(

Today the 2nd batch of DMAT students really put up a great show!! *applause*

Especially the song that they re-arranged and dedicated to Jimmy who is leaving SP to SMU..

The "Yesterday" song was indeed touching and well arranged!! =))

I can say that their batch looks very united and fun to be with!!

But of course, 1st batch is still the best!! hahaha!! =P

Hazel and I were asked to perform on stage =) I was kinda nervous cos' didnt really touch on my dizi for quite some time.. Actually wanted to play an improvised piece with 3 songs in it.. but only 2mins.. but then.. despite practicing the whole of yesterday and today.. I just couldnt seem to memorise the notes! Argh! so frustrated and irritated.. keep playing the wrong notes and forgetting them..

in the end..at the last min, I decided to change song.. lol..

even though the sound check I played part of my improvised piece.. I didnt play that on the actual perf...

Erica interviewed me and I said about my competition thingy.. so ended up playing part of my competition piece.. lol..

I was quite nervous.. don't know why.. maybe cos' i was not so prepared and seeing all my lecturers and even directors of the school all seated and watching me.. I was more afraid..

But luckily managed to play the song through.. =)

Phew~~

Hazel sung her original song.. really nice! =))

The food was nice too~! =) haha..

hahahA~

took lots of photos.. thanks to Yue Ting and Hazel's camera!! super good!! =))

my camera.. ='(

hee.. I'll miss everyone from DMAT!! =')

2009-02-27T00:06:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Monday was a disastrous horrible and freaking day!! >.<

cos' I was so freaking careless till I smashed my whole CPU onto the floor.. I didnt check properly that my USB cable on my music keyboard was still stuck onto the CPU..and then in a haste, I just pulled my whole music keyboard into my room.. together with my CPU..-.-

So the motherboard was spoiled.. couldnt get it to work.. so no choice.. had to spend my own money to buy the new parts.. /.\

actually wanted to use the money I've saved to buy a new camera.. Canon Ixux 80..

but guessed its not the right time to buy that ba..

then so weird.. whenever I went to teach my tutee.. it will rain.. and i mean it really WILL rain!!

-.-

then at night went to the Night Safari for a gig with ZN and Kim :)

but then sian.. our perf was delayed for about 2 hrs..haix..

luckily I applied SYCO leave le.. if not sure can't make it for prac...cos' our perf ended around 8plus-9pm..-.-

My first visit to the Night Safari.. but then still didnt get to go into the Safari..-.-

This was the only animal I saw *-*

And the only fishes I saw *_*

On Tues, I miraclously bought my new cpu.. with the help of my bro.. haha.. called him dozens of time to ask him questions regarding the computer parts.. hee.. bought the motherboard, processor, casing, ram and power supply unit for $300 =) yay!

And he helped me to fix.. its working perfectly fine now! luckily all my documents are safe.. so dun need to reinstall anything! =)) hee..

but of course.. haix.. learnt my big lesson le.. haix.. $360 gone.. jus like tt.. bought the MIDI USB Cable for $30 and printer ink $30.. /.\

the most torturous part was to carry the freaking heavy cpu from sim lim sq all the way to Little India and back to my home..

wanna save money ma.. so no choice..

now my body's all aching.. especially plus the accumulated muscle aches I received from Monday night.. carried the heavy bag of music stands plus files.. I think the bag weighed at least 10KG! no joke.. *_* I cant believe Im getting stronger..lol

Dear Buddha, how can I move forward? How can I get rid of the really torturous and painful feeling? How can I get rid of jealousy and hatred? The unfairness.. The wish I always wanted it to come true..but it will never be fulfilled.. I wanna be open to others too.. and finding a new meaning in life.. finding back the blissful feeling I had 4 yrs ago.. perhaps leaving will be the best solution? But can I do it.. can I bear to give up everything.. or maybe not taking it too seriously will help? but then.. Im a serious person.. maybe its bad to be a serious person.. hmmm...

I wonder..

when will my Mr Right arrive?

maybe its not the time to talk about love..

hmmm.. got influenced by the taiwan drama i just finished watching..“命中注定我爱你”

it would be good if life was a fairytale..

sheesh..

2009-02-17T23:39:00.009+08:00

Dear Diary,

It's been some time since I blogged.. hMmm.. last week had been a fun week.. celebrating Raymond's Bday and V-day with him (: Hope that our friendship will level up again.. On his Bday, we went to AMK hub to have dinner then watched the Love Matters movie. (: nice.. but standard like drop a bit le.. but enjoyed watching the movie with him..

.
.
.
Anyway, random....But.. I just accepted my first ever tuition assignment for a p3 girl.. went last wed and yesterday.. can say that it is really stressful.. as I am really bad at explaining and conveying the message to the student. Keep on speaking singlish too.. I guessed I confused my student too.. tmr will be my 3rd time tuitioning her.. hopefully all goes well....
.
.
.

V-day was fun and memoriable.. didnt get to celebrate last yr.. so this yr was good (: we went to PS to shop and then had dinner at KFC.. haha.. I had a craving for Pizza.. but too bad.. had to wait 45mins.. #_# lol.. after that, we exchanged gifts..heehee.. was surprised about the gift cos' it was really unexpected of him.. but I love it! (: cos' it symbolises our friendship!

After that we took bus down to Global Sounds Cafe for my singing perf. Ray finally came down to watch le.. but I was very disappointed.. cos' planned to give it my bestest shot and sing my best.. however.. it ended up really bad.. haix.. don't know if its the mic prob. but when Neo and Yan sang.. they were clear.. but when I was singing, I couldnt hear myself very clearly.

I thought I was singing very softly.. cos' Neo kept signalling me to sing louder.. my first song I already ruined it.. haix.. embarrassed.. wanted to sing Fall For You initially de..but Caleb said the song was quite depressing.. so changed to Eternal Love.. but maybe cos' it was my first time selected to sing there on a Sat, I was a little nervous till I forgot how to sing the melody. /.\ Usually I'm only asked to sing on Sun at WTC.. hmmm..

The duet songs with Taiwei were fine I think la..but some parts I went real flat and monotonous..and covered Taiwei's melody..as I sung the harmony.. haix.

=(

the cafe boss even commented on me.. saying my singing was monotonous throughout..haix.. guess I have to keep improving le..anyway taiwei and i didnt know how to talk.. so we just kept singing..lol..

After our perf, we watched Neo and Yan sing.. They sung really well! Esp Neo's Grace Kelly song! Esther treated us rosewine.. nice (:

Then we went off after watching their perf.

Actually wanted to go home de.. took bus 147.. but then got a mad old man suddenly for don't know what reason stared at us and kept cursing and swearing at us.. I think he was swearing at me instead of ray.. but the thing was.. I didnt offend him in any way.. I didnt even notice him until he suddenly turned and stared at us with hatred and anger like as if we killed his son or something. >.<"

Felt uncomfortable.. so we moved to the further back of the seats.. but then didnt solve the prob.. the mad man still kept on scolding us and this time was worse.. it was so embarrassing la.. cos' the other passengers were looking at us.. so we really got sooo damn uncomfortable that we decided to alight the bus. pissed.. even after we alighted, the man still looked at us from his window.. -.- man.. nuts..

Anyway, I didnt bother to confront him.. cos' I didnt do anything wrong! He's just mad... whatever.. let's hope he'll recover from his 'madness' soon~~ Then we decided to watch a movie..since we alighted near the Grand Cathay.. but then all the timings were unavailable.. left with 1am plus which was too late already.. Then tried PS.. luckily got.. then we watched the Slumdog Millionaire at 1220am =) saw siying and kellyn too.. lol so qiao.. the movie was really nice!! worth the money to watch (: hee.. wad a memorable day.. ((:
taiwei and I singing

(: The doggy that looked like caleb. lol

Happy Birthday to Zhang Yan!!

((:

On Sun, I went to celebrate ChuJun's 21st Bday with James, Derek, Angie, Jason, Ben, Loong and MK (: We went to Singapore Science Centre.. it's been soo many thousands of yrs since I last went there..

It was fun seeing the exhibits! ^^ Like returning back to pri sch excursion days..lol

After that we went to Vivo to eat Kim Gary..while yikloong and MK left to prepare for NS... and something real embarrassing happened to me.. haix.....................=(

everything was going so smoothly and happily.. until when we presented Chujun her lovely cake and sung her bday song.. I was so excited till I didnt see my cup was right beside my hand and I hastily knocked it down and spilled my whole cup of nearly full-filled "Yuan-Yang" drink onto the table..

It was so embarrassing!! sharks.. as I was the one who carried the cake with the lighted candles in together with Angie and we started to sing the bday song.. everyone else was looking at us.. and suddenly i added extra performances into the celebration.. the waitresses were like on standby predicting that something might occur.. and when the magical "Yuan-Yang" drink was spilled, they quickly took their table cloth and helped us clean our table.

Thankfully, the drink was spilled in a diagonal direction so I didnt spill on anyone else except poor jason.. kena a little bit.. but luckily not a lot man!! If not.. haix.. phew~ haix..

lol.. so dramatic..

unforgettable event too.. =x

someone's stuck in one of the 'holes'!! help! guess who is it.. =)

Chujun and I =) whakaka!

We smell EVIL~!! keke..

MK on the toilet bowl

following by ben.. the urgent man..lol..

My honour!! =))

hei hei.. =)

the magical drink O_o

Hope that Chu Jun will have a memoriable day with us!! and hereby wish her Happy Belated 21st Bday!! (:

I need to move on..accept it.. argh!! hmm.. truths and lies.. which should i believe? =S

2009-02-02T00:44:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

today went to help out for recording.. still a bit confused.. haix.. so long didnt touch the mackie mixer le.. i need to recap liao!! >.<"

after that had rehearsal with Wei Xuan and Zhang Yan for WTC perf.. hehe.. i love this pic Zhang Yan took.. so artistic la!! =)))

^__^

Keyboardist Wei Xuan! very pro de!!

Zhang Yan =)) hee..

today was my first time singing 2 english songs.. hee.. luckily got malay audiences.. hee=)

but sian.. no one helped me to video.. =(

2009-02-02T00:08:00.007+08:00

Dear Diary,

Chingay Parade ROCKS! but sad thing was ours was the pre-parade.. so didnt get the chance to see the parade.. or take photos with the other performers =( sigh~

Fri de chingay rehearsal was a bit messed up.. the lorry they didnt book a big one.. then reached there the organisers forgot about our chairs -.- then so rush.. didnt get to play full piece.. cos' time was tight.. ran out of schedule.. -.- After perf.. the bus was late.. we waited for so long..

luckily, Sat everything went smoothly..hee..=)

but sad.. couldnt watch the parade.. cos had to go back to keep instruments.. after that went to Pastamania with the rest to makan =)

Memorable Pics!!

Pastamania

=)) rocks

Cameraman

Friends =)

Super PRO Rahman!

SRS.. =))

working together =)

hehehe... =) nice pic.. lol. thanks CJ!! ^^

2009-01-26T01:23:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Happy Chinese 牛Year 2009!!

hee.. May everyone be blessed with lots of Good Luck, Prosperity, Good Health, Happiness and of course $$$$$!!!!

^__^

These few weeks super busy with lots of CNY perfs as well as recordings..

I've uploaded a CNY song which I played with my gig members at Novena Sq. Thanks to Raymond for helping me take and coming down to support!

Gong Xi Fa Cai (Enjoy)

Hmm.. Gig actually got 5 members de.. Grace and Miao Ying but then they didnt had to perform for the last session..so didnt take photo =(

anyway, after my perf.. went to shop with Raymond!! whahaha!!

Here are the perfs @ Novena Sq with Kim

Sentosa!!

Another set with Kim and Zhi Neng

tmr Ang Bao day! whahaha!!

2009-01-24T01:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Haix

sucky day

like i've thrown my knowledge away

but i will do better

cos everyone makes mistakes the first time

i know my mistakes le
.
.
.
.
Maybe I should just draw a line, be firm and never look back

Don't pin any hopes

No point

Cos' that is e reality of life

you will experience changes and more disappointment

>.<

!#$%^!#!!^%****

ARGH!!

2009-01-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

I need $money$

*_*

2009-01-13T00:35:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

WTFH KNN..

is all i can say now..

#$%^$$^&&%$#!!!!

curses..

curse that shop!!

cheaters.. liars.. idiotic suckers..

I know what I am going to study le..

for sure..

i'm going to apply LAW in uni !!!

argh... so pissed..damn pissed...!!!!!

stupid.. freaking.. ARSEHOLEEs!!!

>.<

2009-01-10T22:30:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

today so tiring man.. >.<"

perf at heartland mall was cool.. lol..

perf at novena sq was better too.. =)

hopefully tmr will be even better..

another long day again tmr..

today went to celebrate Jason's early 21st Bday..

He invited so many ppl! the food and cake was nice! =)

He was so touched till he cried..lol.. =)

Hope he likes the present we bought for him.. hee..

=) yay..

2009-01-09T23:21:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday went back to SP with Chiew, Yue and Hazel.. =) finally went back to visit my lecturers since graduation.. saw almost all of our lecturers except Geoff who was in NS reservist.. =( but we had a great chat with the lecturers!! talked with tin hee and jimmy the longest.. but sadly, we didnt manage to find jimmy to chat with him later on..=( wanna hear his story!!!

I was so excited and happy to see them.. all looked the same though..lol.. actually thought jimmy's hair would be very long.. but he cut it.. =x but he looked nice ^^

=))

SP changed SO much in 1yr la!! >.<"

FC6 changed!!! looked more colourful and brighter.. but the stalls remain the same.. finally got to eat my Chicken Katsu Curry!! =)) but standard like drop leh.. =( then they also renovated the sink area.. plus the benches..sticked with wallpapers.. plus a small kiosk at the staircase area..etc etc... but level 2 toilet still the same.. -.-" smelly as usual..

then OMG.. T2044 our music lab also changed.. looked so funny la.. like some kindergarten.. lol.. they decorated the room just for the open house.. then studio A de drumset gone le.. then they moved the piano from studio B into A.. wonder how they carried it.. so big la.. the door so small.. studio A's control room mixer also changed.. and they got new mics!!! so good.. AKG414..

oh ya!! they also renovated almost the whole of level 3!! became so nice man.. the chairs so classy!!!

btw btw, yesterday so coincidentally, we went back on the 1st day of SP open house! =)) saw our juniors performing.. =) then they also featured some of our first batch students' works..=) they even consolidated 15 of our POD songs and burn it into a CD for the student visitors.. and also featured the Y-Project video and Straits Times newspaper.. =x

so sad.. i heard that jimmy's leaving DMAT le.. going to SMU in April.. =( he's a great lecturer!! I wonder who's gonna teach songwriting and biz of music for the next batch of students le..

maybe i'll consider applying for SMU.. heeheehee.. =D

then after that, sian.. had to go for prac for gig today.. so couldnt have dinner with the girls..=(

today's perf.. hahaha..

hope tmr will be better ba..

stress... tmr i'll be performing at heartland mall..solo..=x then after that at novena sq..

may Buddha bless me..

oh man.. this pic is SOOOO CUTE!! Thanks a lot, Jia Wei!! ^^

2008-12-31T12:22:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today is the last day of 2008 le.. time passes real fast.. and i'm sure I will miss 2008 a lot a lot!!

I really love this year!! Can say that it's the best year of my life.. so many good things have happened..and if I wanna write them down.. I think I'll write till tmr.. lol!!

I'm really thankful to have my family members, friends and teachers' support and guidance! =) I'm also very grateful to Buddha, Guan Yin Pu Sa and all the Gods!! =))

Let's look forward to another great year in 2009!

I'm sure 2009 will be an even better and greater year for everyone!!

I hereby wish all my readers and everyone else, a Happy New Year 2009!

May all your wishes and dreams be fulfilled in 2009!!

I also wish everyone to have good health, to be safe, happy and lucky always~!!

大家加油吧！^_^

ho ho ho ho... ^^

2008-12-28T00:05:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

This holiday I spent so much money../.\ I'm broke man.... argh.. but just need to tahan and control myself for 1 more month before my money comes in.. pay and etc.. ='(

so tired recently.. so many events happening..

like on xmas eve went out with the usual SRSCO gang.. went to The Minds Cafe to play games and dinner.. =) hee.. it was fun but ex.. and we only played 3 games -.-" in 2.5hrs..

after that went to yl's house to countdown & xchange gifts.. =)

then xmas day went out with ray =) hee.. watched Ip-Mun.. very nice show! I wanna watch yes man and bedtime stories too!!!

haix.. tmr sun having vocal exam.. so last min la.. just got to know on fri night that sun's our exam..need to prepare 2 songs..plus MMO.. didnt have much time to prepare.. then at night i'm having perf at WTC again.. morning still have to go CSCO prac.. -.- so sad.. actually didnt plan to go for songwriting.. cos I havent write my song yet..=x and tmr's lao shi's baby 1st month.. wanna go see his baby.. =)) but clash with songwriting class.. our exam is straight after our class... sobs..

anyway, today went to SRSCO.. i overslept.. =x

practiced for chingay parade on 30 and 31st jan.. heehee.. so happy that jason asked me whether I wanna play percussion for a percussion piece.. it's so fun la!! =))

hee.. i missed chingay parade.. esp with the jap ppl.. and louis, ryu and clef.. that 2 yrs were so fun la!! all the dancing.. lol..

after prac, we went to The Central to eat Waraku.. celebrate JJ's belated bday..hee.. =) and headed home to prac singing.. stressed! may my throat be well tmr!!

anyway.. wad song should i write about.. no inspiration.. its been more than 6months since i wrote a song.. -.-

2008-12-22T17:19:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

Just woke up after sleeping for 8hrs.. lol..

Yesterday sun morning.. met pauline at 89 bus at 9am to go Pasir Ris together to meet Jun Yuan and Min Hui for breakfast.. =) hee.. only 4 of us met up for breakfast.. the rest couldnt make it..still sleeping or got things on..

we ate Hong kong cafe.. don't know leh.. after eating that for quite a lot of times.. I don't think the food is so nice afterall.. opps.. =x

anyway, we chatted about a lot of stuffs.. hehe.. =) It was so nice to chat with them.. Jun Yuan is especially funny..lol.. he kept apologising to us so many times!

then we were supposed to meet the rest who were coming for games at Pasir Mrt station at 11am.. but guess wad.. only Bamboo was on time.. supposed to have about 9 more ppl de.. but then we waited till like about 1 plus and then only 4 or 5 more ppl came..-.- but then.. we had a great time chatting with each other while waiting.. =))

Pauline and I bought 2 shirts from Giordano.. so good.. got lunch time special 40% discount sale =))

then after that, about 2pm we took shutter bus to Downtown east costa sands resort to check in..

our chalet was super small and squeezy.. then after settling down, we started to play our amazing race game planned by MinHui, Jonathan, Bamboo and JiaWei.. due to the very small no of ppl.. we were divided into only 2 groups of 3 and 4.. -.- I was the tour guide for my group consisting of Pauline, JunYuan and JingWen.. hee..

The game was fun..cos' we had to approach strangers, secretly take photos of food and running around.. but then we didnt complete it cos' it was getting late.. and the game was quite difficult to play..

After that, more ppl arrived and they started to play poker cards and watch tv..

Then around 6plus to 7pm.. Bamboo and the guys were trying to start the fire at the BBQ pit.. but so funny.. after trying for like so long.. 7 plus le.. they still failed.. and our neighbours from Malaysia we think.. were very kind to lend us a helping hand.. they taught us how to start the fire.. and even gave us extra food.. =) it was so nice of them!! =))

It's been so long since I BBQ-ed.. the last time was i think feb ba.. DMAT class chalet.. =)

Then more ppl arrived.. then after eating, a few of us went to the arcade to play.. Oh man.. Jun Yuan and JingWen were so pro man!! they are really good at playing arcade games.. especially the drums mania.. and car driving... =) hee.. Then JunYuan asked me to play DDR.. but then I danced like an elephant and we failed our first dance..-.- lol..

Jonathan (dizi) was so funny.. his first time playing para para dance.. lol.. his hands were like a robot.. lol!!

after that, we went to bathe.. and kept on going Macdonalds... lol..

Then we stayed up the whole night gossiping about ppl.. with our gossip king, Kenny!! He's so funny la.. lol.. made us wanna beat him and laugh till stomachache..

Then around 530am we went Macdonalds for breakfast.. and I couldnt tahan le.. keep on visiting the toilet.. think ate wrong food.. maybe's the otah.. then went home with Jonathan and Jessly..

=) this yr's chalet was quite fun.. =) hehe..

last week had a long week too.. had Echomusic Star Program Xmas Perf @ SAM on Sat.. then we had quite a few rehearsals at SAM.. it was tiring cos all the rehearsals lasted till almost 12am and we had to catch last train.. but our perf on Sat was successful! =) Saw Xu Kai Xiang.. didnt know he's the flute instructor there... I was so surprised when I saw him @ e audience seats when we had to go down and shake hands with the audiences..=) Then after that went to watch midnight movie with Ray..=) Twilight.. I didnt know it's based on a book.. with 4 parts.. so there'll be 3 more movies after Twilight...it was a very romantic and nice movie.. but then climax part not really exciting enough.. build up le then suddenly drop so much.. Btw, I love the beautiful lightings @ orchard road! it's really very beautiful!! =D

Had xmas shopping spree last week too.. oh man!!! I SPENT too much le.. haix.. still feeling really cheated after my 2nd visit to my facial.. I got bought over again.. spent $240 on another package for 5 sessions on my eye treatment for panda eyes.. haix.. but I paid half the amount first.. dun feel like paying the other half during my 3rd visit..

haix.. going facial should be a happy thing rite? but instead when I go there.. I feel so scared and angry! scared because they keep asking me sign up for more packages.. and angry because they keep pressurizing and psycho-ing so in a way that they are forcing me indirectly to sign up for more packages!! ARGH! I hate the shop!! >.<" pisses me off..%&(#%^#@

I guess i'm so weak and easily persuaded by ppl ba..haix.. I wanna overcome it!! I dun wanna get cheated again.. it's so frustrating.. I havent even get my pay yet.. broke le ='(

Pics..

Star Program students =) rehearsal..

after our concert =)

@ Orchard Rd

Ray & I =)

SYCO chalet =)

SYCO Dizi peeps =))

=)) hehe..

2008-12-17T00:37:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I couldnt believe that I was first.. until the NAC ppl called me last fri at 510pm to ask me to play pamierdechuntian on sat for the prize winners concert.. I was the only one with an ensemble as accompaniment. It was like a dream came true to fast.. till I had no preparation.. thought I wouldnt get selected cos' they said will call us between 430-5pm.. but didnt receive at 5pm.. until 10mins later.. at first was quite happy and relieved cos I could go for my vocal prac.. but sad that I had to rush down to YMS to prac with them.. before that headed to lao shi's house to borrow dizi from him.. my dizi CMI..then took cab down.. It was quite weird intially.. cos I was late and everyone was waiting for me..but no choice.. cos they called me at 510pm and asked me to reach at 6pm.. the prac was quite good.. very cool experience.. but stressful.. cos' Mr Lum conducted.. then at first he said my dizi sounded very flat.. then got a few parts I not in sync with the ensemble.. its not like solo where you can extend your beats a little.. have to be on the right beat... didnt thought till so clearly until I rehearsed with the ensemble.. =)

Anyway.. sat I took cab down to YST Conservatory.. cos had to reach at 845am.. it was a very long and tiring day..morn had run thru', rehearsal.. then afternoon watched the ensemble and percussion finals competition..then at night was the prize winners concert..tiring.. but then I was my biggest day of my life.. I was the first one to perform for the concert.. start the ball rolling.. stressful... almost played out with the ensemble. but managed to glued myself in with them.. luckily i didnt stop or forget my notes.. phew~

I was really happy that Hong Lao Shi came down =)) really happy!!! Cos I really hoped he could watch me getting my award.. =)) but sad that Raymond couldnt come cos he was sick.. ah mei also didnt come.. haix.. wanted to take a memoriable pic with them..=(

I was really touched to see mum so supportive of me.. she's been to my prelims, finals and prize winners concert!! Thank You Mum!!!! I know that during these 1 month, I've been worrying you and troubling you cos' I was sick throughout the whole month..

I've finally accepted myself.. after that day.. but I know that I still have a long way to go.. I still need to improve even more.. cos' I clearly know my standard.. competition is also partly due to luck and of course hard work.. but then like Zhu Lao Shi who gave us a masterclass on sun, told us that most important in a competition is not the results..cos it's just the 20mins time on stage and anything could go wrong or happen.. and he told us that if we were to try compete again.. the results will surely defer.. unless there's one ppl who is really super talented and outstanding..he also told us the song choice is really important!!

However, the most important thing is still the journey or preparation.. this competition is meant to increase our confidence..and I know I lack of confidence in myself.. but from now onwards.. I'll prac hard.. and not give up.. have more confidence in myself.. I still have a lot to learn and improve on!!

I'm really grateful and happy to have my friends who are so supportive of me.. encouraged, cheered, listened and shared my joy with me during this period.. though I also thought of other friends whom I always treated them to be my close friends, and wished or hoped that they would share my joy with me or at least a little concern about me like ask me how's my competition and etc... however maybe they're just too busy or doesnt care ba..

now i finally understand what is the meaning of true friends.. sometimes I feel guilty of not treating them as important as my other close friends whom I thought otherwise..

Thank You Everyone!! ='))

I also had the guts to msg my lecturers to tell them my good news.. at least the sacrifices I made this yr did not go to a waste..

I'll apply for NUS next yr!!! =)

Gonna study hard le..

Just received SYCO letter.. and I'm more assured now.. cos I'll still be in SYCO next yr! yay! So happy.. cos I really really really thought I flunked my audition.. till Mr Quek rang the bell at me..

Got to work hard le...

I'm having a singing concert this sat at Singapore Art Museum.. with echomusic peeps.. Christmas Concert.. 8pm-930pm.. tickets at $10.. interested can msg me.. =))

busy week.. got to go for xmas shopping~ whee~~ ^^

Its thanks giving time~~!! i've got so many ppl to thank to!! lol~~

2008-12-12T08:39:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

These 2 weeks of competition has made everyone so stressed and tired especially when I'm sick throughout the whole month..dunno is it due to anxiety and stress.. but it was a great experience. I was quite disappointed that ChengSan CO didnt make it to the finals last tues when we had our ensemble competition at YST Conservatory. But everyone did their best le.. the thing was.. we didnt have enough practices and our team spirit was not there.. but now I support Braddell Heights CO!! Must get top 3!! =))

Last thurs was my dizi solo competition.. I got into the finals together with Ting Kai and Hsien Han..all SYCO peeps.. hee.. Was very happy and touched to see some of my great friends who came down to support me. Was also very shocked to see Chiew Hsia and Yue Ting at the Recital Studio!! I never expect both of them to come down and support me! Thank You girls! really touched.. and also thank you to raymond, chu jun and her bf, regina and her bf, wei ming, william too.. of course not forgetting my mum and sis and also everyone including ZLS who wished me good luck and gave me a lot of encouragements!! without all of their support, I wouldnt have made it to the finals.

I also have to thank Chen Wei, Weiming and William for giving me so many helpful and great advices on how to play my pamierdechuntian piece better! And also thank Raymond for giving me so much support, encouragement and advices!! Lastly, not forgetting my most respected and grateful Mr Ang Ting Leong!! My greatest Dizi Lao Shi!! Thank You for not giving up on me despite my previous lao shis who gave up on me. He was always very patient with me especially during lesson time.. which i was usually late.. but he never scolded or resented me. Thank You for lending me your really powerful and solid Dizi!! and giving me so many dimos.. lol!! Thank You for your great guidance that I improved so much after learning from you! Even though these 2 weeks have been a really tiring period for you as your baby has just borned, you still set aside time to have lessons with me! I'm really touched and grateful!!

At that moment, I was really happy and satisfied with myself as I really did my best for my prelims and was more assured after hearing good comments from my friends and audiences.

However, yesterday was a really unexpected event!!

Frankly speaking, the moment I ended my BangDi concerto piece with ChenWei, I was really disappointed with myself! And I thought "Die already la.. just now I played so many wrong notes and not just 1 part.. but 3 parts!!" It was so obvious.. especially seeing the faces of the judges..it was really confirmed that I flunked my piece!! I was more stressed up and panic when I saw the faces of the judges.. looking quite bad.. like they've heard a really lousy song.. that was my feeling..my confidence level dropped tremendously the more I played my piece.. and I was so out of confidence that I ended with a really lousy ending.. my plan intially was to end it with a BOOM!! but then I was so disappointed and breathless till I really wanted to end it fast.. and forgotten about my great ending..

The moment I stepped into the waiting room.. my mind was in a mess.. I really regretted not playing my best.. honestly speaking, I thought my usual prac with ChenWei was much much better than my perf yesterday!

In my heart I thought.. I'm sure I wouldnt get any prize.. or if I could get a 3rd place.. I would have already thank God, Buddha..cos it was not possible.. I thought when we made so many mistakes.. already counted out liao.. I was already very prepared mentally to accept any results.. Cos I knew even though 3 ppl get into finals.. it's not confirm that there'll surely be 1st, 2nd and 3rd.. and the previous years it didnt happen this way..

I really thought Ting Kai played really well.. Even though I was at the waiting room hearing him play from the speakers, I was really touched by his music.. esp the slow movement part! I must agree.. I can't play Lan Hua Hua as good as him!! The way he portrayed the music was really great and touching.. and his showmanship was really good!! Very natural..

For Hsien Han, I really feel that he improved a lot technically and also muscially..

When the results came, I was confirmed that Ting Kai would be first.. but when they announced the 3rd place.. everyone was in a state of shock.. even I.. all of us couldnt believe our ears.. it was so weird.. and unexpected.. and after they announced 2nd place.. I was more confirmed that there was no 1st place for dizi open le.. cos' it could not possibly be me..

but then.. it was so unexpected.. and im sure everyone was feeling the same way.. how could it be..

so weird right.. i should be feeling happy.. cos at least.. giving up on my scholarship to UK and disappointing my lecturers, giving up on my full-time job to prac my dizi for 1 whole month, spending lots of money for lessons and going thru with my pianist.. was all worth it! At least my hard work didnt go to a waste.. and finally I've achieved my biggest dream.. to win in dizi competition.. after taking part 3 times.. first time didnt get into finals.. 2nd time got into finals but didnt win.. and now.. It was really very unexpected.. I had never wished to get a top.. get at least a 3rd I would have already been overjoyed and really no regrets!!

but then.. i couldnt get to sleep last night.. my heart and mind were really in a mess.. i couldnt understand why.. there's no marks given or comments from the judges.. I keep feeling that perhaps they really made a big mistake in the ranking.. maybe they put the names wrongly upside down? Especially when the other ppl who watched our perf.. didnt agree with the judges.. I clearly know my stand.. but just dont know why..

I'm really very confused.. :(

is this a dream?? haix..

or maybe I should have more confidence and believe in myself.. cos I really did put in a lot of hard work and practice.. But I guess Luck still play a very important part on stage..cos' anything can go wrong.. its so unpredictable..

but I really must Thank ChenWei, WeiMing, ChiewHsia, YueTing, Mum, Jackson, Ryan, Shi Wee and my other friends who came down to support me and also help me with my piece!! Thank You to everyone especially Raymond, William and my friends who gave me so much encouragement and support and my great Hong Lao Shi!!!

I guess the only thing I must do now is to keep on improving myself even better cos I know I still have a lot a lot to improve on.. and to aim for solo concerto in chengsan CO or SYCO next yr.. that's my next dream now.. i'll do my best!! =')

2008-12-01T10:18:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Argh.. what the heck is wrong with me? I should be concentrating on my competitions now.. focus joyce.. and not thinking of other impossible frustrating stuffs!! What is already not meant for me.. is not meant for me.. so stop wishing for miracles to happen!!

what is wrong with my gastric?? I must get well soon!!!!

stop anyhow thinking le.. nothing else other than my competition can affect me now!!

jia you jia you!!

2008-11-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

aww.. today woke up with tired arms.. muscle pain.. after all the carrying of the bulky stuffs from yesterday.. no energy to play dizi..

morning went to lao shi's house for lesson.. stressed man.. left 1 more week to go.. before competition..

i must persevere!! everyday practicing my dizi.. think my neighbours sure very sian one.. everyday hear the same songs again and again and again..lol =x

just tahan!!

tues is group competition.. but dunno y i'm not nervous for it at all..lol..

may everything go well on tues ba!

chengsan co let's jia you together ba!! we can do it!! let's aim for top 3!!

everyone pls cooperate and lets do our best shot on tues ba!!!!

May Buddha protect and bless us shun shun li li~!!

Also hope that Melissa, Raymond and Jackson will do well for their grading exams!

just went to Alvina's house to celebrate her 21st Birthday.. saw many long-time-no-see ppl like Jennifer, Maria, Eileen, Xiang Ying and Mdm Ruby Cheah with her 2 daughters..so cute!! lol.. Jennifer brought her really cool bf from Nigeria.. and they are so loving man.. aww... =))

Happy 21st Birthday, Alvina Jie~!

*sometimes I wonder.. how important am i to u?*

2008-11-25T23:43:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Had my SYCO re-audition today.. finally saw the rest of the ex-syco dizi peeps le.. Jonathan became so muscular..lol.. xiangle and tingkai also came back for audition.. finally.. but sadded.. cos pauline and casper not joining.. =(

couldnt imagine today got so many ppl came to audit for syco.. i think got around 5-7 new dizi ppl who came for audition.. plus the current members.. hh, bh, tk, ql, xl, j and myself.. *_*

I wonder how many ppl they are going to accept for dizi..

i got a feeling that i might not be staying on le..

cos' i messed up the audition..haix.. so sad..

Finally saw guo lao shi and lin lao shi today.. they look the same..lol..

but guolaoshi was quite strict for the audition..

actually went in not nervous de.. but cos' i played the wrong tempo..

maybe i'm used to playing fast tempo le.. cos my competition songs are all fast..

then suddenly need to switch to tempo 60.. not used..

then kena scolded.. cos' i'm already so-called the 'old bird' in syco le.. since 2004 till now..

but then my standard like still no improvement..

so scared..

i want to overcome my nervousness!!

next sunday..7 dec..

really wish everything will go on well~~

I wish you all the best and good luck for your grading exam tmr, RAYMOND!!

=D

I'm sure you WILL do well de!!!!!!!

GAMBATE~!!

i also need to jia you le...

2008-11-22T09:54:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

haix.. i'm super stressed up!! syco audition, Chengsan group competition, dizi solo competition, vocal exam.. /.\

why can't i sing using head voice? how to shift to head voice??? >.<""

2008-11-20T12:19:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

OH WTF.. I can't believe that I was almost cheated off by $200!! If i had nv kept on insisting that I didnt want to sign up their package so that they said till like they're Gods or something..reducing my package to $388 .... my $588 would have already flew off.. #^$$* Just saw their stupid advertisement.. saying now $388 for 10 sessions!! >.<""

BUT THEN ITS WITHOUT GST YET... AFTER GST WOULD BE MMOORREEE MMOONNEEYYY!!

That time say wad free facial by smsing.. ended up.. telling me..

"Dear, There's NO such thing as FREE in this world"

Stupid.. then why put up the stupid advertisement.. saying FREE??? And now their new advertisement they go and change story again..-.-""

Wanted to just go for a facial wash.. ended up signing up for their facial treatment package!!

Next time don't ever believe in those stupid advertisements le.. all bluff ppl one..

Cheaters.. blood suckers..

but good thing is.. actually its quite cheap le la..go once a month only $40+.. just hope their company wont close down within these 10 months.. but then hate their stupid marketing tricks!!!

Yesterday's visit to Zouk was FFUUNN!!

Its been some time since I drank so much.. =))

Yue and I saw a lot of A*G*S.. lol..

Thanks Hazel, For the invitation~!! =D

2008-11-17T23:01:00.002+08:00

Dear Face,

Pls heal fast..and become more radiant, supple and 'tiong tiong'..most importantly... lesser/no more acne, pimple scars and blackheads..... if not.... the HUGE amount of $$money$$ that I've invested on you today will all be a waste again..

/.\

i'm broke..

heartpain... :'(

2008-11-15T23:33:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Dunno y.. i'm having weird and mixed feelings again..

How can I stop all these irritating feelings? >.<"

How I wish I could just stop thinking..stop dreaming.. stop running my mind wild.. stop pretending.. stop...

may everything be good tmr.. 8pm-9pm @ white tangerine cafe.. my turn..

2008-11-15T01:00:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today went to see doc.. hopefully my gastric problem will get well soon ba.. i've been vomitting for the past 3 weeks le.. *_* The doc was really very nice and friendly.. 1st time encounter such a wonderful doc.. gave me a welcome card and also some leaflets about my conditions.. he also talked about my jaw prob.. though my purpose of seeing the doc was not about my jaw.. surprisingly, the doc also has jaw prob like me.. and he says he's coping with it too.. and sadly, there's no cure.. only thing we can do is to minimise the pain.. he even showed me some exercises =))

Of course, the bills was not very cheap too.. but worth the money! =)) You guys should go to Seng Kang de VariNice Kopitiam behind the Healthway Medical Group.. the doc rocks! =))

After that, went for my dizi lesson..

today argued with lao shi.. =x cos' of some scores clarification thingy.. but I also learned quite a lot of things from him.. hehehe...=)) Hong Lao Shi is the best!! =)) Just hope I'll do well for my competition.. I'll give my best shot.. now is hope that my gastric will heal fast.. dunwan anymore delay le.. cos it really affects my overall 'Qi'.. =( feel so tired and weak nowadays.. haix.. like having difficulty in breathing.. ugh..

after that, went for singing lesson.. haix.. I guess my expectation is really low.. but i'll give my best shot for coming sun's perf!! Joyce, pls have more emotion to the songs.. and express it out to show the audiences that you're telling them a story!!! Must make their hairs stand up!!! whahaha!!

My high notes are really bad.. hai.. must prac more le!!!!!

its so hard to control.. but i'll do my best! =')

Let's jia you together too, Regina and Raymond!!! =D

2008-11-14T00:29:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today was my last day working at VivoCity de Best Denki as Panasonic promoter.. hmm.. so how's working there for the past 4 days..

all i can say is.. practically, everyone working there.. SMOKES!! >.<" and still got someone ask me wanna smoke or not.. yucks!! and then they thought im a smoker..

-.-""

do i look like one? I'm so innocent..lol.. =x

anyway, i think now i understand why Mei Hui doesnt want to quit her job.. cos' actually her commissions are already more than her basic salary!! I really pei fu her man.. browsed thru her previous records.. she one day can sell so many products.. for me leh.. my commissions got lesser each day.. =(

dunno is really no customers.. or i'm not convincing enough..

but good thing was.. i received a lot of compliments from the customers.. so far no complaints.. =))

the ppl there are nice.. except for a store uncle! >.<" practically everyone dislikes him.. from what I heard from another storeman.. but sometimes pity him also.. maybe he lacks of love?

anyway.. only 4 days la.. lol!

but received so many cuts on my hands.. cos of the warranty cards and new stocks made of sharp cardboards..-.-

today's such a scary day.. in the morning.. brought bee hoon to work to eat.. sat inside their eating room.. and guess wad.. while i was just beginning to enjoy my lovely breakfast.. I saw a cockroach on the table.. it crawled towards me and I blew it onto the floor.. quite disgusting already.. but i thought, "aiya.. nvm de la.. only 1.." and guess wad.. a few secs later.. another one pop out on the table! oh my!! I was totally shocked and disgusted!!

Its not about i'm afraid of them.. but it's so disgusting.. the room is so dirty and unhygienic..!!!

Then nvm.. i moved to another table opposite it.. and guess wad.. this time.. another black colour de cockroach crawled on the table! ARGH!! so pissed.. totally ruined my appetite.. i was wondering whether some other cockroach crawled inside my bag or something..

hai.. didnt want to continue eating.. despite having more than half of the bee hoon left.. i threw away the whole packet.. and went down to B1 to eat Kaya toast -.-

wad a disgusting encounter!! >.<"

The sweeper still tell me.. "..must get used to it.. no choice la.."

wth!

He should do something about it.. if not the company employ him for wad?!!

weird aye..

after work, I got another scary encounter.. was on my way to Mel's house.. and scarly out of nowwhere.. a bull dog barked at me.. and it was so dark till i couldnt see it! It hid behind the bush..-.-

after that.. walking down the pavement.. a cyclist almost knocked into me!!!

gave me such a big fright!! -.-

that's the end of my encounters.. luckily no more liao.. phew~

anyway.. hai. now more scary than the other encounters!

just now i opened my letter box.. and received SYCO re-audition letter and NAC.. guess wad!!

***SUPER IMPORTANT DATES TO REMEMBER***

1) My SYCO audition is on 25 NOVEMBER 620pm!! that's the same date as Mel's dizi exam and Ray's erhu exam!! so qiao..

2) And then my dizi solo competition is on 7 DECEMBER 415pm @ Esplanade Recital Studio! I'm no 3 out of 7 ppl.. do come down to support wor.. its on a sunday! =D

3) Chengsan group competition is on 2 DECEMBER 2pm @ Yong Siew Toh Conservatory..we are last one to compete.. so fast man..

like about 3 weeks or less left..

haix..

anyway, this sunday i'm having my singing perf at White Tangerine Cafe.. 8pm-10pm =))

I'll be singing 4 songs.. =D

Do come down to watch if you're free!! ^_^

2008-11-06T00:22:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today I was mad.. haha.. went on a shopping spree... heartache.. cos not working le=no income.. but also happy la.. cos at least the stuffs i bought are really important and useful.. finaly bought myself a new pair of running shoes..=)) after so many months without a proper pair of running shoes.. tmr onwards I'll have more motivation to start my daily running exercise.. =))

Bought a new pair of covered black shoes for work.. helping Mei Hui to work next mon-thurs at Vivo.. so long didnt work as promoter le.. sure stress de lo.. tmr going down for training.. hopefully i'm paid ba.. but most likely like no pay for training.. -.- 5hrs.. have to wear white shirt black pants and covered shoes..

actually didnt really want to work.. cos' especially after this morning's dizi lesson with lao shi.. I suddenly feel that i'm still not up to my own expectations yet.. I know I still have lots of practicing and improvement to work on.. cos I know I can do much better than my current playing.. I feel that though I'm not working right now, there seems to be not much time left.. haix..

And self-image is also very important.. I want to look good on stage.. but with my current figure.. cmi.. haix.. so need to really work on it..

I must really change my bad habit.. *laziness*

shoo shoo..

and my face also.. though lesser pimples recently.. after buying the facial cleasner which I invested quite a lot of money in.. my pimple scars are still stuck on my face.. argh >.<"

thinking of working from mon-thurs next week.. feel a bit sian..and wasted.. though can earn money la.. but then also not much.. have to stand for 8hrs..and dinner time no pay also.. *_*

hopefully the long hours of standing can help me lose some weight.. at least its better than sitting down..

today really tired man.. actually planned to prac dizi today.. cos' i didnt really prac on mon and tues.. felt really uncomfortable about ruining my own plans.. and also planned to either go swimming or running.. cos' lao shi say it will definitely help in boosting my 'Qi'!! but then also in e end didnt.. ended up.. after lesson, went to meet the other boss to help out with his online instrument shop website thingy.. took pics.. but I was so bad at taking the pics.. ended up not really well.. then after that about 6pm le.. i had to buy my shoes for tmr's training.. and etc..

i planned my schedule tmr morning.. to go to the park to run from 7am-8am.. then after that prac dizi for 2-3hrs before going for training from 1pm-6pm.. hai.. i guess it'll take me one whole day again.. at night got to teach mel at 730pm..

i must definitely follow my plan!! pls wake up early tmr, joyce!!

good night~!

2008-11-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

today went to the positive psychology centre at Concorde Hotel there to know more about their course.. quite interesting.. but fees for the whole course which can last for 9months up to 2yrs is $6000.. so need to reconsider carefully before signing up ba.. hmm...

after that went to Great Eastern Building to meet Weiyan and her agent.. then had a seminar.. Mr Adam Khoo came to give us a 1.5hrs of talk.. the talk was quite inspiring and useful..

i guess perhaps by being an entrepreneur then we'll be able to make lots of money ba..

what he said was quite true.. working for others.. will only give us fix salary.. and also need to see other ppl's face..

he said to earn 1 million dollars is simple but not easy..

successful ppl who earn lots of money does not neccessary be of high qualifications, from rich family or young/old..

they are the ones who are willing to take the risk, go for their goals, take actions, learn from their failures and find other strategies..

he told us.. there are 3 types of ppl in Singapore..

the first one is: work very hard and take action.. but once they fail, they give up.. end up giving excuses in order to avoid the problem..

the second one is: work very hard and take action.. but once they fail, they never give up.. try again and again and again and again.. but they will never be successful.. cos' they keep using back the same old strategy which does not work for them at all.. and ended up being super frustrated and tired.. and lastly- INSANE.. The worst ppl are those who after knowing that something is not right with their strategy, but still keep on using it.. -.-

the last one is: work very hard and take action.. but once they fail, they don't think that they've failed.. but used their failure as a good experience.. so that they know they have used the wrong strategy and then find other strategies until they become successful..

He also said.. everyone wants to be successful but why not everyone becomes successful? the reason is simple.. they don't take action.. only talk and plan but don't action..they have no goals in life..

Perhaps positive thinking is the best solution as this world is full of negative ppl and things.. so guys, if you wanna be rich.. just keep saying this to yourself.. 'I'm going to be rich' and in order for you to be rich, you must love to be rich.. and not curse or swear rich ppl..

so what is my goal for now? hmm..

my interest? passion? goals?

i wonder~~

2008-11-02T20:32:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Don't know why.. I have a bad feeling about the group competition.. left exactly 1 more month before our preliminary round.. but our standard is still far away from others.. hai.. need to play tempo 190.. and plus most of it are semi-quavers.. and I couldnt play till the speed.. feel so lousy.. get so excited and nervous when playing that piece.. till everything just went wrong..

i need to buck up le.. i also need to calm down..

wonder if we can get into the finals..

hopefully everyone will jia you ba!!

2 Dec 2008.. last group..out of 7 teams..

1 and only chance..

gambate ne~

2008-11-01T14:40:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was my last day of work.. it was good and memoriable.. cos' i finally finished my task and also felt very satisfied with myself...lol!! And this week was ESPECIALLY good cos' my boss was on leave for the whole of this week.. and moreover we had 2 days of Hol!!

Finally ate lunch at Amoy with my colleagues yesterday.. they were so nice!! =))

I'm gonna miss my colleagues esp the level 2 and level 4 lunch peeps! =)

I'm gonna miss having lunch with them and also the shopping at People's Park Complex, CK, Far East Plaza, Vivo City...

I guess nothing lasts forever.. so we got to move on and find greater fun in life!

I'm very touched when Annie, Georgi, Jane, Nur and Julia surprised me with a really beautiful present and really nicely designed card!! I Love it!!Thanks a lot, my wonderful colleagues.. though we are not in the same department =))

Took some pictures with them.. after working for 3 months.. i realised i didnt take any photos with my colleagues.. but sadded.. cos Sam went home already.. and some of my colleagues were on leave.. but happy that they liked the cake I bought ^^

Level 2 Colleagues

The lovely gift they got for me =))))

Nur gave me a nick 'hamtaro'.. lol!! =P

Btw, Thank You so Much to "You-Know-Who"! Lol!! =) I'm really very touched and Happy! Thanks for your effort and lovely Patrick card!! I love it a lot! =))

=))

I'm in love with this song called 明天以后 by 林峰 & 泳儿. Really nice song.. but dunno why whenever I hear this song.. it reminds me of myself and ... sigh~

2008-10-29T23:02:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today I finally got my hands on to the famous Teochew Minced Meat Noodle @ Kreter Ayer Market! whahahahahahaha!! The queue is always sooooo long and I actually gave up whenever I started to queue.. think got about 4 or 5 times le.. and luckily today the queue was not too long.. So I finally decided to queue up...but still, I had to wait for about 15-20mins before it was my turn to order..-.-

LUCKILY the food did not disappoint me and not wasted my time queueing up.. cos' the noodles was really nice and a lot of ingredients in it too!! I bought the $4 one.. you guys should try it.. =) its closed on every Mon and Thurs..

=)) Happy.. and very satisfied..

First time so patient.. My determination must continue and last as long as possible!! =D

felt weird.. cos' i realised i didnt eat any cake on my actual birthday..=( Parents also didnt buy.. first time a birthday without a cake.. these few days keep hinting my mother to buy cake for me.. lol.. =(

But still, I was really happy when Derek and Angie surprised me with a Hello Kitty cake on Sat night when we met up with the rest of our usual group.. I really had fun!! =)) so I guess that's the only cake i ate.. so still alright ba! =D hahaha..

I realised We forgot to take a group photo! AIYA! =( sob sob sob sob sob..

anyway, here's the photo taken on last wed.. with M7.. but short of Ling Er.. =(

Chiew Hsia & I (2 Pretty Oct Birthday Girls) =P

toodles~

=))

2008-10-28T00:07:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

This year's 20th Birthday has been a really enjoyable one! =) Heehee..
Thank You everyone who celebrated for my birthday with me and also sent/gave me all the good wishes and presents! =)) I'm indeed very touched and happy!! Especially with all the surprises and lovely presents!! I love all of them!! ^^

THANKS A LOT, my great buddies!! ^_^

I'm very happy and grateful to have so many good and caring friends~!! =D whahahaha!!

So fast 20 yrs old le.. =( no more teen.. next yr officially adult le.. but then still long la..lol!! Well, my wish for my birthday is very simple.. Just hope that all my loved ones and friends who I treasure and care for, will stay Happy and Healthy ALWAYS~! And of course.. to be safe and sound too.. =)) Lesser disasters.. Family peace.. inflation faster go away.. World peace.. China food faster get well soon.. so we can continue to eat without any worries~ =)) I guess.. my wish is too greedy le ba..

=)

Tonight I'm sure I'll be having lots of sweet dreams!! =)

I LOVE all of my great friends~~!!!!

Today, I had a really enjoyable time~ =) Watched High School Musical 3 with Raymond at Cathay The Grand.. the movie's really nice! I love their dance steps and choreography~!!

Thanks a lot, Raymond for spending my birthday with me~! =')

I really appreciate and love whatever things you've done for me..

I also appreciate everyone's concern about me too!!

Thank You Thank You Thank You!!! ='))))

Have a good night's rest, everyone~!! =D

2008-10-23T23:17:00.011+08:00

Dear Diary,

On Mon, I went out with Joanne and Chu Jun to Marina Square de Ai Qing Hai.. It was my first time there.. quite a good experience.. and we didnt know it was audience night so anyone could go up and sing.. so i went up 2 times and sung.. first time sang Ting Hai, the 2nd time sung An Jing with Joanne =)) So cool! Thanks to Jun for helping us take pic! =)

And also I love the presents- the watch (HK), Flamingo Pen, motivation card and the Lao Po Bing(HK) from Joanne, and the spongebob set of key chains as well as the cute cat pouch from Chu Jun who both bought them from HK. thanks a lot!! love them so much!! =))

On Tues, went to see doc.. sick.. so on MC.. *_*

On Wed, I went out with Chiew Hsia, Hazel, Yue Ting, Mei Hui and Pei Zhen.. finally get to see Pei Zhen after so many months.. think got about 8 months le ba.. =)

then we went to Miss Clarity Cafe @ Bugis area to eat.. the ambience was quite romantic.. but food was so-so only.. then had a great chat with them =) hee.

Most importantly, I was even happier when they gave me Elmo and a bracelet for my birthday present!! =) thank you so much girls! I love them a lot!! =)

Forgot to get pics from Chiew Hsia.. =x

On Thurs, went to teach Melissa.. her dog scared me again..

On Fri which was today, my boss and colleagues treated me for farewell lunch at Korean Restaurant =) Thank You all! I indeed enjoyed my first full time job at SB.. but so fast next week will be my last week of work le.. so i have to get used to it again.. Sally designed a really nice birthday card for me.. and I love it alot!! Thanks, Sally!! =D So touched!! ^^ I'll surely miss the lunch time with all of them.. and of course the foods there and also shopping at People's Park Complex..and $$$$$.. Today finally received my last pay.. Happy but sad..

Im coughing like mad..

That's why im sad..

So pls help me dad..

I'm such a poor old lad..

lol.. so rhyme.. maybe i can think of a melody.. lol -.-

I miss Songwriting class!!!!! =( Yesterday I heard YES 993 FM talking about Jimmy Ye and his songs.. My lecturer is such a talented man.. I love his songs.. haha.. but one thing.. the DJ said wrongly about where he's teaching now.. not in some University.. but in SP DMAT!! =)) Miss all my lecturers.. haix.. still no face to go back..

Anyway enough of the crap, Seeing all these love and gifts, all my unhappiness seem to fade away.. and most importantly, all the encouragement and cheers from him.. =)

I don't know why.. but seeing this picture.. makes me really very happy! =))

I WANNA GET WELL SOON~~!!!!!!!!!

tired...

2008-10-20T01:12:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

aww.. today's such a tiring day.. from morning 1030am-130pm.. was at ChengSan CC having prac with the ensemble for competition.. after that, went to buy lunch with Yu Ren and 'da bao' to TPCO.. then we had rehearsal there from 2plus to about 3plus.. and reached S'pore Flyer at around 4pm.. so tiring.. helped to carry their instruments.. and the school's so rich to buy those big black stands.. that cant be folded.. and its so bulky and heavy..

after that, we had sound check.. then spent most of the time waiting.. quite sian actually.. the other ppl get to sit the flyer.. but we didnt.. sadded.. =(

so waited and waited.. but ok la.. cos' chatted with some new friends i made =)

in the end, the whole programme was like cut short.. cos' the VIPs' speeches overshot i guessed.. and.. the presentation of the trophies were so long..-.-

then finally our turn, we only played like 3 songs.. and the end..

carried the instruments back.. actually wanted to leave from there.. but i didnt know how to go to the MRT.. and it was quite late le.. so followed their bus back.. and guess wad.. by the time we reached TP, it was like 12am+..

helped to move back the instruments.. and finally took cab with 2 of the TPCO members and their advisor.. good thing is I didnt need to fork out money.. phew~

ok la.. its been so long since i felt the orchestra feeling.. I can see that TPCO members are quite bonded and cooperative.. everyone didnt really complain or wanted to go home from the venue there..i can say almost all ended up going back and helping out with the instruments.. it's so unlike SPCO la..

hmmm..i miss poly days again.. having CO camps in SP.. going to the cruise..Redang Island.. chalets..=(

but i know missing it doesnt help..

we have to move forward.. and i shall look forward to a new environment in year 2009!

luckily tmr no work.. so tired.. gonna sleep soon once my hair is dried.. tmr needa prac dizi le..!

jia you! ^^

2008-10-19T01:28:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I realised recently I've been blogging about so many unhappy things.. but today all the unhappiness shall stop here..

I'm really very happy today.. going out with him.. =)

I guess that nothing else is more worth it and important than both of our friendship.. so lets all just forget about the quarrels and unhappiness and look forward to more happiness and happiness and happy things..heeheehee..

=)

Thanks a lot, Raymond =D

I'll pray for your back to heal soon.. So Buddha, God, Allah.. please Bless and protect my DEAREST friend's back to recover soon!! Its really a painful burden just like my jaw.. but worse than it.. Thank You!! Also.. God of Fortune, please Bless us both with lots of Good Luck and Fortune..haha!! More money rolling in.. haha.. or drop from the sky..=P Thank You!! ^^

i'm so looking forward to that day.. im sure it'll be the happiest day of my life..haha!!

how i wish i can share half of your pain and burden with you../.\

miss ya..=))

Also not forgetting about Regina and my other friends and colleague-Sally, who have cheered me up, listened to all my complains and sadness for the past 1 week.. I guess also partly cos of my PMS that's why I was so irritated..=x THANK YOU ALL! Yesterday's singing lesson was great.. had a good time laughing and seeing everyone smiling and happy ^^

2008-10-14T14:08:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

recently the God of Bad Luck has been blessing me.. -.-

finally felt the feeling of being outcasted.. where everyone was invited.. even those not belonging to the same section were also invited.. and even the ones who had left and the newcomers were also invited.. haix.. this feelings sucks.. but who cares.. kinda regretted buying his birthday present for him.. so weird person.. -.- that time email also didnt include my name.. not that im being sensitive.. but its the fact.. maybe im being outcasted in his list.. hai.. still need to tahan till end of the month!!!! >.<" i'd rather stay at home and rot..

in the morning already was in a foul mood.. followed by some more unhappy things..

argh!! so pissed off.. irritated..

nothing to do also.. >.<"

thinking back about sun's perf.. the feelings sucks again..

argh.....

^#$^*(@&@(@^@%^*@&@*(!!@!@

Messed Up Perf

2008-10-13T19:00:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Didnt know why.. when I stepped out of my house on the way to WTC for practice with Victor, I had a really bad omen.. Like when I wanted to cross the road, suddenly a car drove so fast.. then when i wanted to walk through, the taxi started to move.. -.- and i was late for prac..

haix.. yesterday's 4th performance at WTC.. i screwed up.. I really disappointed Esther and everyone else.. I felt so angry with myself.. i've been performing for 4 times already and I still couldnt do a good job.. messed up everything..

I wanted to sing well.. wanted to show Esther, myself and everyone else that i would do a good job and put more emotions to my songs.. and that i'm trying to improve on my singing and stage presence and whatever she had taught us in class.. but didnt know why the moment I got onto stage, I was totally lost for words!

Even the words I said didnt make sense.. BROKEN CHINESE! /.\

I think I need to take up chinese lessons.. haix.. didnt even know how to phrase my sentences properly..

Then when i started to sing.. i couldnt get into the mood.. and i felt my singing was quite horrible.. I felt that I could do a better job.. but I didnt..

Then I also didnt know what to say.. cos' we had to communicate and entertain the audiences.. Raymond was also lost for words.. and I was so stressed cos' I didnt know what topics to talk about.. and I didnt really know a lot of the singers' background or the song background etc.. I was scared that he would blame me again.. like the previous time when he wanted to ask me some questions but i gave him a close ans..

I tried to ask him some questions.. but maybe I said out of the point.. and then suddenly he interrupted me and said whether could he begin his next song or not..

Then just before our last duet song, the time was still early.. so we decided to invite Tai Wei (last min special guest) up to stage to perform one song.. cos' Raymond actually asked him whether he would like to come up and sing later, before our perf.. and he agreed..

But one important thing we didnt realise was to ask Victor whether he had the guitar score of the song that Tai Wei wanted to sing.. Then when Tai Wei came up, Victor didnt had the score.. so ended up him singing and playing guitar..

Haix.. Then our last duet song was badly sung.. we rushed the song..

Worst still.. Both of us didnt know how to end the whole perf.. I was waiting for Raymond to say something.. but he told me to say.. then I was so stressed and nervous till I just said 'Good Night'.. and we left.. haix..

Then Esther was quite angry with us and scolded us for ending the perf so abruptly.. and commented that we kept rushing for our last song.. After that Simon and Esther left.. haix.. I knew that they were very disappointed in us.. so after that Neo helped us by singing one last song and ended the perf nicely.. by announcing to the audiences about our perf at WTC every sun and Thanked them..

I couldnt control myself again.. so I teared and gave a big scare to Sky..

hai.. why am i so emotional.. i just couldnt control la.. i know crying doesnt solve the problem.. but i just felt like crying.. cos' everything's just bottled up inside and its super uncomfortable..

But Neo and Sky explained to us and told us our mistakes and etc.. at least we learned a big lesson last night..

On the way back..i felt so strange.. I know Raymond was feeling very down and had no mood...But seeing him so sad, i tried to talk to him about other subjects.. so to make him happier..and myself happier.. but he didnt seem to wanna talk.. and worse still..he kept msging other ppl..

felt so strange..he like treated me as if i was not there.. i know both of us already felt so disappointed in ourselves.. but then...

haix.. couldnt control again.. cos the more silent it got, the more i thought back about the earlier perf..and I felt that I was the one to be blamed for everything.. like i've dragged him down with me..

Was so looking forward to yesterday's perf cos' we get to sing together again.. thought no more chance to partner with him le.. cos' Esther told us that she was going to partner us with someone with more experience instead..

but then.. instead of making it a success and seeing him having more confidence in himself.. it ended like that..

This morning on the way for Dizi lesson.. I msged Esther and apologised to her.. But i'm really relieved and glad that she replied and was not angry with us. We'll work hard on our stage presence and not repeat our mistakes again! Thank You Esther, Neo and Sky and everyone else who cheered us up!

Haix.. today Hong Lao Shi said that I blow dizi till no feeling.. mono.. no dynamics.. im getting depressed again.. i have about 1.5months before the competition!!

I definitely would not ever ever ever want my competition to screw up like yesterday's perf!!

How can i put my feelings into my songs???

im so tired../.\

2008-10-12T13:08:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

hmm.. today's make up lesson's cancelled..=( so got to wait till 6pm before meeting up at WTC.. hope everything will turn out well later..

I love this song.. Fields of Hope.. super touching!! =)))) Enjoy..

Lyrics:

konna ni tsumetai tobari no fukaku de
anata wa hitori de nemutteru
inori no utagoe sabishii nohara wo
chiisa na hikari ga terashiteta

anata no yume wo miteta
kodomo no you ni waratteta
natsukashiku mada tooku
sore wa mirai no yakusoku

itsuka midori no asa ni
itsuka tadoritsukeru to
fuyugareta kono sora wo
shinjiteiru kara
Fields of hope

umarete kita hi ni dakishimete kureta
yasashii ano te wo sagashiteru
inori no utagoe hitotsu kiete mata hajimaru
tayorinaku setsunaku tsuzuku

itsuka midori no asa e
subete no yoru wo koete
sore wa tada hitori zutsu
mitsukete yuku basho dakara

ima wa tada kono mune de
anata wo atatametai
natsukashiku mada tooi
yasuragi no tame ni
Fields of hope

natsukashiku mada tooi
yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope

2008-10-11T15:56:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

haha.. i'm so happy! cos' i'll be singing with Raymond the 2nd time tmr at White Tangerine Cafe! ^^ We'll be singing almost the same songs as the previous perf.. but changed 1 or 2 songs.. =)

Yesterday Raymond and I had our singing lesson after 2 weeks of break.. it was fun.. but sad that Max not joining us for group lessons le.. and Regina had fallen ill.. hope she've recovered! =))

tmr is our last make up vocal lesson as a group i suppose..hai.. i'll miss having lessons as a group with max..he's so funny..haha..

Hope I will have more feelings into my song.. Esther taught us some techniques to add emotions to our songs.. =))

anyway, its my turn to be featured in echomusic website. whaha! i think i look quite nice in this edited photo...photo editing can do wonders..haha.. no wonder.. why i suddenly look slimmer..=x

STRESSED!!

someone said that i've grown fatter.. despite been enduring the 'hotness-burning gel' for the past 4 days.. hope the gel will work.. =( cos' 3 more weeks........

=))

2008-10-08T16:57:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

3 more weeks to next photoshoot.. oh dear.. i must be motivated and determined to lose weight within 3 weeks!! bought a slimming chilli gel 2 days ago.. looks quite good.. cos' was shown on tv.. then when i used it.. oh man! the chilli 'hotness' lasted throughout the whole night!! >.<" Hopefully it'll burn off all my excess fats..whaha!

my face is another problem.. recently also bought some facial towel and toner, facial wash, pimple gel.. hopefully my face will return back to normal soon.. so many pimples now >.<" So happy to see my blackheads coming out.. when i used the blackhead plaster thingy on my nose..whaha!

eat lesser.. need to start exercising le.. argh~!!

tired.. haix..

so troubled too.. /.\

2008-10-05T20:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today had my 2nd and last dance class.. i love the instructor.. cos' he is so humourous and a great dancer!! but sadly.. i still danced like an elephant.. sigh~ maybe i'm not suitable for dancing ba.. so tired.. haix.. but I enjoyed the dance class alot!

might be thinking of changing one song 'lydia' to another one.. hmm.. what song should i choose to sing..

2008-10-04T21:35:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

YAY !!! My sound system ok le.. all thanks to Yik Loong!! who asked me to reinstall my motherboard.. and ok le!! yay! im super happy now! whahahaha!!

later gonna meet chiew hsia to chat and drink.. yeah!! whahaha!

Esther just msged me ask me to sing next sunday at WTC again..
i'll be singing the same 3 songs.. i sung during 2nd time..but with Sky this time..stressed! haha

they are: Lydia, Ting Hai and Wo Bu Nan Guo =D

I will do my best to sing better this time round!

gambate joyce!!

tmr is our 2nd and last dance class.. hope i dun dance like an elephant this time round.. =x

2008-10-04T19:54:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

it's been so long since I stayed at home on a Saturday.. today seemed so empty and weird..maybe i'm used to going out le ba..actually wanted to go out with my poly friends but they had projects to do in school.. i seem to be the very free one.. so William came to my house this afternoon.. listened to my competition piece.. and gave some comments.. then we also chatted a lot..haha.. its been so long since we chatted..

then i hate my bro.. he is mad.. so late le still sleeping.. hao bu rong yi.. i got time to practice my dizi.. and he started screaming when i blew.. and its not as if i blow till so nan ting or wad.. >.<"

my sis also.. i know no matter how much we talk or explain to her she won't listen de.. so from now on, i shall not bother about what she wanna do.. just give her all the freedom she wants.. i shall not care anymore.. treat her so nice.. she still doesnt understand..haix.. wash my hands off her.. Perhaps I will have a more enjoyable time if I don't worry so much.. leave them all as they are.. cos' its our own choice whether we want to change for the better or not.. it won't help at all if we just keep on scolding or reminding them but things are still the same and doesnt get any better at all..

haix.. my desktop computer de sound card i suspect spoil le.. /.\

When i wanna play my music, i only can hear the background music.. cant hear the vocals.. though i on the loudest le.. the whole sound becomes so muffled.. and then i thought my speakers spoil.. but when i plugged my headphones into my CPU, also the same.. then checked settings.. but didnt put any EQ or wad..

ARGH~ >.<"

Damn pissed off!!

can anyone help me?? /.\

monday gonna train newcomer le.. cant take leave next week!! endure 1 more month and i'm free le.......

2008-09-30T23:41:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Haix.. why when things are just getting better suddenly more problems arise? Recently having a lot of problems with my family.. And the 2 lead roles are my bro and my sis. Separate problems and both are extreme cases.. haix.. and then the result, parents quarrelling.. pushing the blame to one another.. but not themselves.

my bro is so unfilial.. crashed my father's car.. threatened him and us..by either saying he wants to leave the house or commit suicide.. treat our home like a hotel.. to him, nothing else is important except his girlfriend and computer.

my sis is another problem.. i feel that i'm beginning to feel like a total stranger to her.. i don't understand her anymore or at all.. she keeps everything to herself.. no matter how many times we love her, or talk to her and explain to her things.. for her own good.. she pretends to listen to us but in the end, more problems come from her.. i'm so tired of all these.. bcos' im so lost and helpless..

just when i've settled down with my decisions on studying.. now more problems..

i think i am going mad..

what i feel worse is that, i cant do anything to help at all.. i'm so lost.. and i hate it when i drag my friends together with me.. but i just cannot keep everything inside me.. i'll feel worse..

im sorry if i keep stressing you all up with my problems.. i don't really mean it de.. i know you all are already so stressed up with your own problems.. but then...

and also besides that, i still have my own problems.. haix.. all i can do is to avoid it.. cos' no matter how hard i try i know its still impossible.. so instead of always thinking and hoping for it, why not just forget about it and not think at all?

haix.. i feel that i really don't understand ppl at all..

things are not meant to be how you wished for in reality.. you just have to accept it and move on.. but why do i keep thinking about it..

Anyway, i really enjoyed my 3rd singing perf at White Tangerine Cafe on Sun! It was fun~!

Yesterday so many things happened again.. haix.. and then my boss spoke to me.. Actually I shouldnt feel sad at all.. cos' this was what I wanted in the first place.. maybe its the better choice for me to leave.. He's right.. i'm still unstable.. i just cant do anything right.. but just when i'm kind of liking my job and colleagues.. and.. in 2 more weeks..

everything seems so wrong..

today had a great time going out with Chu Jun!! Its been months since we went out together.. and I really enjoyed it.. bought a lot of things.. 2 shirts and 1 pair of jeans! =) and I also bought toys for my niece.. went to my sis's house after shopping to pass the present to my niece..had a great time playing the toys with her =)

tired.. sian.. so unlucky.. waited for 3 buses of 51.. all came single deck.. then the whole bus was so packed till the driver didnt want to open the door.-.-

just when i wanted to walk all the way down to take bus 87, the rain poured.. and i waited for 55 to come and took bus..

today enjoyed the feeling of walking in the rain..

felt so relaxed..

i want to drink wine!! drown myself.. forget everything else..

MY COMPUTER SOUND SYSTEM GOT PROBLEM!!! ARGH >.<"

I NEED HELP!!

2008-09-24T15:52:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday after work went to Sam's house. =) Da Bao subway to eat..hehe.. so long didnt go to her house le.. =) then chatted from 7pm-1130pm. She's very talented man.. plays a lot of instruments..piano, violin, guitar, piano, flute, singing..etc.. I think i really lack of determination ba.. so far i bought guitar and keyboard but didnt practice.. gave up halfway.. though i always tell myself not to give up so easily..hai.. luckily im still consistent in my Dizi.. and now taking up singing lessons.. i hope to learn as many things as possible..

Yesterday heard Sam played the piano.. so nice!! And suddenly had an urge to faster get home to practice on my keyboard.. already dusty liao.. When I heard her playing, suddenly whole mind felt so relaxed.. like all my worries were gone.. How I wish I can play like her.. =) Piano's so hard to coordinate!! >.< One thing... i felt really angry about myself.. though both of us take different courses, we're quite similar.. she's from Sonic Arts.. also got study what I've studied.. then when Sam asked me some questions about music technology stuffs.. i was totally lost for words.. blurr!!! cos' the things she asked me.. like I didnt learn in school before..I didnt understand what she had asked.. or was it that I did not pay enough attention in class? haix.. i feel so stupid.. =( Its either her school really taught a lot and more in depth than mine.. But one thing for sure, i've never regretted studying music and audio technology in SP.. =)

but then... why a stupid person can get merit and also become model student.....?? Where did my marks come from? Luck or really my hard work?

/.\

I have to relax and not think so much le.. let nature takes it course ba..^^

Anyway, I'm having my 3rd perf at WTC this coming sunday at 7pm =) Esther just msged me.. needa sing 3 songs.. I hope I will impress her or at least let her see my improvement.. on my FEELINGS!!! jia you ba!! yahoo..Aza Aza Fighting!! =D

btw, how time flies.. if I had chose to go UK this year, I'll be at UK now le.. lol -.-

what's my path?

KBox with Conductor Yao Shen Shen =)

2008-09-23T00:52:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today didnt go work.. on leave every monday to prac my dizi for competition.. practiced my dizi the whole morning.. don't know why i feel that i'm like just playing my pieces without feeling.. my thinking was just to be able to play all the notes correctly and loud.. cos' im always commented on my volume not loud enough.. haven't play till the maximum of what the dizi can produce..

so 230pm went to Hong Lao Shi's house for my first ever lesson after stopping for about 4months le.. =) didnt expect lao shi would extend the lesson till 5pm..haha! =)) then first thing.. he showed me the new purple bamboo F diao bangdi.. quite nice to blow.. cos' i told him my F diao bangdi very hard to blow high notes.. so I bought from him a new dizi.. yay! but quite ex.. think so far its the most expensive dizi i've bought ba.. but hope it'll help me for my competition.

then Lao Shi commented that nowadays he feels that my Qi like weakened.. haix.. and my notes not in tune.. some flat some sharp.. so asked me to check with the tuner..

He asked me to practice my long notes.. so that my Qi will improve..

Then sad thing was that..when I played my 2 competition songs for him to listen, he told me that I didnt have any feelings.. blow till vey straight and too accurate.. haix.. but its so hard to play with feelings.. think i must prac and focus more on the dynamics from now on le..

felt demoralised.. but i know i cant keep on feeling this way, if not i won't improve at all.. i'll overcome it!!

after that, supposed to meet min hui they all at Orchard at 530pm for dinner with conductor.. but I had to go home put my dizi and stuffs first.. so I reached around 645pm.. =)

went to grab a quick dinner at long john's before meeting them..

lol!!

I thought would have a lot of ppl coming for Karaoke session with Conductor Yao.. but when I went to meet them, only got 5 of us.. Conductor, Min Hui, Su Min,Wan Ying and myself.. Conductor Yao was the only guy there.. so funny!! haha.. he was a bit paiseh at first but when we started singing..he was so cute! Though he's older than us by a few years.. he's just like us.. young at heart.. haha.. so funny.. while singing, he did all those hand signals and actions.. to show out the meaning of the songs..and dancing..haha.. then also play PSP.. -.- haha.. first time see a conductor who can gel with his students so close and also without any 'Jia Zhi'.. =D And he is really very good at singing too!!! We sang a lot of 90s songs.. so quite a different experience for me.. cos' usually when I go Kbox.. is sing those usual songs..haha.. learnt quite a few songs tonight =)

I really enjoyed the whole time with everyone..!!

I still remember the first time I saw Conductor Yao was during the day of my Dizi Diploma exam.. I had SYCO audition on the same day after my diploma exam at NUS.. then I had to rush down to SCH for audition.. and I was moved to the last one cos' they actually moved forward the audition.. then the judges including Conductor Yao were there and they waited for me for 30mins.. so paiseh la! but no choice cos' my diploma exam timing was fixed and so coincidence both fell on the same day!

But Conductor Yao was very friendly and smiley.. totally different impression as compared to last year's conductor. He even joked with me..haha.. Then during this one year of his guidance in SYCO as a Conductor, I never seen him angry or scolded anyone before.. gonna miss him.. heard that he's leaving SG back to Shanghai this thurs.. so fast... but i'm happy cos' get to spend the last time with him and SYCO peeps =)) hehehe...

I wish you All the Best, Conductor Yao!! ^^

Argh.. my empty wisdom tooth gum is aching.. making my head so painful.. >.<"
HELP!!

i feel so weird now.. i miss him..

my feelings for ONLY today..it might not be the same for tmr.. or not?

2008-09-21T21:36:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday went to celebrate Derek's early Birthday with the usual Srsco peeps..this yr a bit different..cos usually celebrate the birthdays of the 4 of us-chu jun, raymond, derek and myself together..but this year its different..cos so many things changed..i still miss the past....anyway.. we went to sing Karaoke at Kster Chinatown.. the room was horribly smelly.. and the system was so troublesome.. need to use mouse to click.. mic even worse.. muffled and had a rusty smell..their service super slow.. and worst of all was they actually calculated the bill wrongly for us.. at first we thought each only need to pay $5.20.. so still ok la.. cos' the place was horrible.. but then after we foot the bill, the person came in and told us they calculated wrongly.. so ended up each paying $15.. can say is cheaper than Kbox la.. but I would rather pay a few dollars more to be in a better environment.

James was very very romantic..haha.. he actually planned this event very well.. and even gave everyone and Derek a big surprise when they suddenly played the 'Happy Birthday' song and we started singing..they suddenly came in with a cake lighted with candles.. it was so romantic! haha.. how i wish i would get this surprise on my birthday too..haha..

Actually during the singing session.. I felt a bit weird la.. cos' all guys.. I thought Angie, Jason and YJ would be going too..then somehow I felt a bit left out.. Cos' the guys were so close to each other... felt weird..esp seeing him suddenly sooo close to them..like putting his arms around their shoulders.. but i also tried to sing with them.. quite ok la.. but i feel that my singing is so horrible.. like no improvement even after attending 1 month plus de singing lessons le..

then after that, we went to Bugis to eat at a vegetarian food stall.. quite nice.. Angie, Jason, YJ and MK came to join us.. the table was so cramped..but ok la..service and food was delicious!! ^^

after that, actually planned to go to Esplanade the Merlion there to play with fireworks and celebrated belated mooncake festival.. but then like didnt have any convenient place for us to celebrate..then we decided to go Punggol Park instead.. but I went home.. cos' was feeling quite tired and sian..and a bit left out.. dunno why.. I feel that im still not as close to everyone else yet.. actually tried to find topic to talk.. but dunno why still like tt.. really envy him why he can be so sociable and gets everyone's attention.. why he cares for so many ppl..and so many ppl like him so much and seek him for advice and etc...even myself...he is like my idol.. who is so hard to follow..but i really idolize him so much.. sometimes i already tried to socialise or not think so much.. but it always ends up this way when im in a group with him or not.. i know i shouldnt feel this way, cos' its not like everyone meet up every day.. we seldom get to go out in a big group like this.. and its only right to catch up with one another and joke around and have fun! If not, what's the point of meeting up in a group right? stupid me.. but i dunno why am i feeling this way.. I also really want to joke around with everyone and also move our friendships to higher level..not just those normal hello..how are u.. or how's life recently..like there's still a distance between us.. i want to joke around.. have fun.. laugh laugh laugh..too.....

is this my problem again.. haix.. why am i like this? or is it just that i care for him way too much till now it has all become jealousy and selfishness?

I felt even more weird when i see him putting his arms around the shoulders of the other guys.. like he suddenly become so open nowadays..

what is love? is this all just siblings love? then if it is for me, why do i feel so jealous about such minor things? maybe i should change my thinking and feeling ba..

nowadays i keep thinking about the past.. i missed the feeling of being loved and in love.. i missed the feeling of romance and intimacy.. however, i know i what im doing.. im just thinking and missing it only.. i know nothing will help by thinking about the past.. i have to move on..

but sometimes im so tired.. i feel tt im just acting to be strong or acting as if nothing is wrong or everything is normal.. or maybe im really feeling it and not acting at all?? i dunno..

why am i so selfish... i know i cant force someone to change just because i dun like the way that person is doing, saying or acting.. perhaps i should just get used to it.. and accept it..instead of feeling so stressed about it everytime.. i dun wan to keep on discussing about the same problem everytime..because it wont help as the prob is still there.. but why is it so hard for me to change my thinking?

i think for this part.. i already failed.. if i want to become a counsellor or psychiatrist...... cos you have to accept everyone you meet.. with no biasness or any justifications.. maybe i should really do psychology? so that i can learn to accept and understand ppl..

but i am just not used to it...sometimes i just tell myself.. dun think so much or dun bother so much.. i remember our vow.. but will it really help? i dun wan to lose him as a friend.. because he is very important to me..and i dun treat him only like a bro..

sometimes i just dunno what he is really thinking.. how i wish i could read his mind..

im just so bad at understanding ppl..

but i want to improve on that..

i want to be slim of course.. who dun wan to be pretty and slim..this has been my dream since young..esp when playing with barbie dolls last time.. everytime imagine the dolls to be myself.. but its so hard too.. maybe i really lack of determination.. but i am who i am now.. and i accept and love myself for who i am now..

i miss him..

I had a horrible nightmare again last night.. guessed who i dreamt of.. the dream got worse than the previous 2 dreams that i dreamt of that person..

im afraid... what if.. one day.. he..

will our friendship be as close as what we are now..

this year has been my happiest year ever..though also had a lot of things happened along the way like about what to study,work,misfortunes.....etc.. maybe it's bcos' i get to spend a lot of time with that person and having his greatest support as well as from my other friends,teachers and family.. and i enjoy and treasure every moment spent with him.....that's why i'm happy and i dont regret my decisions because i know i will be able to handle my own life..

Perhaps i should just focus more on my competition for now ba.. i should love my dizi more instead..lol.. dizi i love you..hahahaha... pls support me for my competition.. bcos the competition is vey important to me.. i will do my best.. and i will overcome my stage fright!

the group competition is also giving me lots of stress.. cos' not only i got solo parts, but i have to blow them with feelings.. ZLS today told me that i blow well but no feeling to the song..haix.. im so depressed again..why i dun have feeling when singing or playing dizi de?I've tried to be engrossed into it...but still like nothing.. though i always feel that im already so emo..

am i weird? lol.. :S

maybe i'll feel differently tmr.. my mood swings so easily..lol.. pardon me..

i love my friends..thank u all..=)

2008-09-20T10:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

I simply LOVE my songs!! ^^

2008-09-19T07:27:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday's work was alright..haha.. =) actually ppl there quite friendly la..hehe.. just dun like that particular person..from.. maybe i should just open up more ba.. find more topics to talk about ^^

so stupid me!! tt day walked by the bus stop then saw bus 12.. then realised i can take the bus straight to my student's house at loyang.. but i didnt know the bus stop was so far..at People's Park there..-.- So rushed all the way to the bus stop.. was already late i suppose.. cos' i left at 620..

then I thought the journey wouldnt be so long.. maybe just take 1hr at most.. but then OMG.. from outram to loyang took me 1hr 30 mins!! I reached my student's house at 810pm -.-

was supposed to start lesson at 730..haha..next time i take train and bus better.. though more ex.. but save time.. how i wish i still have student concession.. sigh~

I like every 2-3days need to top up $10.. so there's where all my money go to....besides food..

my student's mother is so nice.. every lesson she'll give me food and drinks.. so touched, happy and thankful to her! Cos' i think she know I didnt eat my dinner..=x.. ^^ xie xie..

so in return, I better do my best to teach my student well!!! jia you! =D

2008-09-17T23:01:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

I missed poly days..

Today went to meet Chiew Hsia for dinner.. hee.. =) looking forward to our group's next outing next week.. yay ^^

Looking forward to the next episode of Itazura Na Kiss.. ^^ hehehehe.. watashi wa suki anime desu.. whakakakaka!

everyday do the same things..feeling so sian.. dunno how to communicate..like dont know what to talk about..no common topic.. staring at the computer whole day.. the chair made my butt painful.. maybe i should buy a pillow to rest on my butt..lol...

today so angry.. argh >.<" that person so ma fan.. ma fan ma fan ma fan... argh >.<" its their fault but say like all our fault.. i just followed what I was supposed to do.. and I do my best.. do it fast and correctly.. but they keep changing.. everytime complain this complain that..then blame everything on us..then when we complain to them.. they'll have something to argue back.. like they have so many tedious tasks to do..blablabla.. as if our tasks are so easy... argh >.<"" just that one person.. dunno is male/female.. lol.. like bu nan bu nu de name..

2008-09-15T22:54:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday had a great time at Esplanade.. last SYCO concert with Conductor Yao Shen Shen.. I must say.. this year's Beautiful Sunday Concert ROCKS the best!! The most successful concert ever in all these years of SYCO.. yesterday was full house man.. till they need to open up the 4th level!! last yr was pathetic.. only open till 2nd level if i'm not wrong. I love this year!! =) Yao Lao Shi is such a nice person.. For this 1 whole year of conducting, I've never seen him scolding or putting a long face during practices.. SOmetimes I feel very bad.. for keep skipping practices.. haix... All of us will surely miss him! but sad.. forgot to take photo with him yesterday..hai.. was in a rush.. but luckily i took photo with him during annual concert.. so can keep as Ji Nian.. =))

Hope to see him back in SG soon!! ^^ He's such a nice man..hahaha.. and he surprised all of us yesterday by playing Er Hu for our encore piece - Sai Ma.. so cool!! ^^

And most importantly, I was very happy that Raymond came down alone to watch my perf.. though he was a bit disappointed.. cos i told him i had a solo part.. but only a very short part.. but at least, he rushed down all the way to watch my perf! really happy and touched!! ^^ hee..thank you raymond!! =D muacks.

Though my solo part was very short.. I was already quite happy le.. cos' I have always longed to have a solo part in SYCO.. haix.. I really hope next year I go try for the Concerto piece and I will be selected.. this has always been my dream since I joined SYCO.. haix.. I must really work on my techniques and especially my confidence.. I need to build up my confidence!!!!!!!

Really envy those ppl who has alot of confidence in themselves when performing on stage.. and they really can be so engrossed in their music. This is what I lack now.. Im always so kan jiong.. and cannot relax myself.. always so tense up.. haix..and no feelings.. no emotions.. /.\

After the perf, Raymond and I went to have dinner and shopped.. so touched.. that he spent so much money just to get a key chain soft toy for me.. but sadded.. cos' only managed to win one.. but really happy!! ^^

Then we went to The Cathay to watch Mama Mia.. =) haha.. the show's quite lame and stupid but I love their songs..especially 'The Winner Takes It All', 'I Have A Dream' & 'When All Is Said And Done'

Today finally had the time to continue watching my anime show.. 'Itazura Na Kiss'

And Im addicted to it!! This anime's the best romance anime I've ever watched. The story is not draggy at all.. in fact, the story moves very fast.. till I feel that there should be more episodes.. though the episodes are not complete yet.

Sometimes how I really wish that I'm living in the world of Happily Ever After.. a world that I can create my own endings and plot.. haix.. how I wish I can be more thick skinned and brave like the female character, Kotoko. Who does not give up easily..

Really missed that feeling of happiness.. but dunno why after watching so many romance movies together.. all remains the same.. I guess I already forgotten what it's like.. the feeling that makes your heart pound so fast.. why can't............................ I really envy...

at least i still have my good friend, my pillow, to hug when I need it.. =')

I want a spongebob squarepants OR patrick OR elmo OR la bi xiao xin OR cookie monster Soft toy for my birthday!! hahaha..

Thank you Raymond.. my dearest friend..for today..

iYu

2008-09-13T23:34:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Tmr is the final moment.. last perf and I'm done with the 2 long weeks of endurance. Today's gig perf with Zhi Neng and yesterday's with Tan Mo, were great! =) enjoyed playing gigs! hope they can help me gain more confidence in myself and also to build up my stage presence and also feelings.. haix..

tired is all i can say now..

tmr final battle.. jia you ba!

SYCO Beautiful Sun Concert @ Esplanade Concert Hall
3pm-4pm
FREE ADMISSION =)

yAy!! Jia you on my Xiao solo!! =))

Gambate Joyce..

=)))))

8 Sept 2008

2008-09-09T00:26:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

What a tiring day.. it seems that my life either seems super exciting or really stressful.. 2008 is really a very stressful year.. cos' I had to make so many decisions.. and so many commitments..

these 1 month has been a tough and tiring month for me.. especially these 2 weeks.. last week and this week.. so many performances going on.. last week just ended 3 days of Dizi Solo performance at Kovan Heartland Mall from 4pm-420pm..then every night my timing was so packed.. syco practices...teach dizi.. singing lessons on fri and sat for make up lesson.. performances..*_* wanna die from exhaustion le.. and also just yesterday, I had 2 performances at kovan.. one was the dizi solo and at night 8-9pm had my first ever singing performance for 1 hr together with raymond.. each of us sang 3 solo songs and 1 duet.. =) It was really enjoyable to sing with Raymond and a great experience!! =) I'm beginning to love echomusic more le.. =) hee.. Btw, I really wanna thank everyone for coming down to support us.

but I'm happy that I managed to survive everything and everything went through smoothly as planned..lol.. =)) thank you Buddha!! ^^

I really hope I will gain more confidence in myself and also to be able to express out the feelings and emotions of a piece of music or song.. haix.. so many ppl commented that I sing till no feeling or blow till no feeling.. its so hard.. /.\ sigh!

Anyway,

I'm looking forward to this week's next nightmare.. dizi perfs on wed, fri, sat and sun(2 perfs again..esplanade and at boon lay.. so extreme -.-)

Hey EVERYONE!!

SYCO Beautiful Sunday concert @ Esplanade Concert Hall 3pm-4pm FREE ADMISSION So do come down to watch and support if you're free.. our dear conductor, Mr Yao Shen Shen will be conducting us for the last time.. sob sob =(

We'll be playing really nice songs so do come down when you're free!! ^^

Hope I will be able to survive this week.. just tahan till this sun and next week onwards I dun have to be so busy le..

or maybe not.. haix..

competition!!

I had my worst nightmare 2 nights ago..

haix.. pls.. everything will be fine..!!

Im going mad..

M7 Gathering @ Sentosa

2008-08-31T23:33:00.007+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today im very happy.. cos' its my first time in 4 years to step into Sentosa.. and the place changed a lot.. =)) hee.. today all of us except peizhen came.. mei hui and hazel's bf also joined us.. hee.. very fun to chat with them too =)) so long didnt see ling er le.. finally!! ^^ hee.. she's still so passionate about sports.. hee..

Then I was 2hrs late.. cos' had to do my editing work at home.. so didnt meet them for lunch.. so paiseh.. letting all of them wait for me.. =x sorry!!

Then we took the train to sentosa.. so cool!! haha..

When we reached there, we took the sky ride and luge.. chiew hsia, yue ting, linger and I sat together on the sky ride.. and hazel, mei hui and their bf on another.. it was fun but a bit scary.. =)

after that, we went to ride our luge.. it was super fun! but too bad.. the distance was quite short.. hee.. then after the ride back to the starting point, we walked to the beach.. played frisbee, monkey ball, red indian game..haha.. and made our own special sandcastle..then we also did a water canal for the sandcastle.. so fun!! ^^

but tiring.. took lots of photos too.. but with hazel.. =P

I miss everyone... miss our poly days.. haix.. =(

each one of us felt like tmr is still holiday.. no mood to go sch or work.. sian..

after that, we went to vivo city to eat.. hong kong food.. jim carry or something..haha.. a bit like hong kong cafe de feel.. quite affordable and nice.. ^^ then they started talking about marriage..haha.. like so fast..lol.. but quite interesting to chat with them.. really miss the good old days.. when the 7 of us would get together for lunch.. and going to sch and home with chiew hsia.. time passes so fast.. everyone of us are doing different things now..

haix.. im so exhausted nowadays.. feel like dying soon..haix..

so troubled.. so stressed.. so emo.. so confused.. so frustrated.. so.. argh >.<"

i miss dmat.. i miss my lecturers.. i miss sp.. i miss all my poly friends.. i miss the days that we spent together.. but somehow i feel that i have no face to go back to sp.. cos' i've disappointed my lecturers..

haix.. so many things on my mind. so many happenings these few weeks.. im gonna burst.. felt so useless.. emo emo emo emo..

Here are some of the pics we took.. =)

NTU competition 24Aug08

2008-08-28T15:35:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

long time nv blog le.. i've been super busy recently..so many things happened when i started to work.. haix.. but anyway, i've sorted out my feelings le. now just want to become stronger and turn a new leaf.. hai.. so stressed!! >.<"" feel that I have no time for rest at all.. but then i cannot possibly give up my other commitments.. but then i feel that im just not committed enough. why..is it so hard to make decisions..

anyway,last sun went to NTU to help Edwin and YanXi play dizi for their songwriting competition. It was enjoyable.. its been so long since I met my DMAT classmates.. and also saw some changes in my friends..haix.. anyway.. we had a make over.. and i looked really different.. but sadded didnt take a lot of photo cos' sent my phone for fixing.. shall wait for edwin to send us all the pics we took! ^^

anyway.. yay.. this sun going sentosa with M7..to celebrate Mei Hui and LingEr's Birthdays..its been 4 yrs since I stepped into Sentosa.. =)) but so sorry James! I cant join u all for your celebration.. sorry!! =x I shall make up some time..

raymond and my perf is postponed to 7 Sept 8pm-10pm at White Tangerine Cafe. Do come down to watch if you're free =)

SYCO beautiful sun concert is on 14 Sept from 3pm-4pm @ Esplanade Concert Hall.. Do come down too..^^

and Im looking forward to more perfs.. and gigs..whaha!

and.. competitions.. haix..

i need more time to prac......and also to slim down.. haha.. =(

16 August -Echoes of the Valley Chinese Orchestra Annual Concert

2008-08-17T01:20:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Im so tired.. today whole day from 830am-1130pm committed my time for EVCO.. tiring but fun.. cos' i love to perform!! concert was a success.. but one part.. suddenly throat very itchy.. kept coughing.. but luckily i coughed during the end of the song when the audiences were clapping..lol.. anyway, I'll work hard towards my own solo concerto.. my dream.. to be performing solo on stage with the orchestra as accompaniment.. hai.. but i lack of confidence and courage.. i will do my best to overcome my fear.. really hope that i will be given the opportunity to perform solo on stage soon..

shall try again for EVCO and SYCO de next yr!! jia you..

tired..hai.. tmr another performance.. hao bu rong yi de weekend..

=(

i must be committed in whatever I've promised to do.. !! its hard.. but i'll try.. =')

nights~

2008-08-07T00:13:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

I'm so tired.. since mon have been having bad headache.. maybe not used to staring at the computer for long hours.. and kept referring to my notes and thinking what are the things I am supposed to do.. haix.. pain man!! panadol also no use..

=(

every night sleep quite late.. cos' almost everyday got activities after work.. come home around 10plus to 11pm.. then have to settle some other stuffs.. before I can rest..

looking forward to fri.. cos' singing~! yay! then long weekend.. fri-mon..

but sian.. monday 9am-1pm have to go help out in recording.. but i like recording =)) fun.. but scary.. cos' they change the system there.. must go early to test out.. =x

just now went for syco.. only pauline and i came.. haha.. so fun! lao shi taught us how to play 'xiao'.. he brought 2 xiaos for pauline and bing hong.. but binghong didnt come.. so I played the xiao.. forgot to bring mine.. then we played the xiao song.. so hard! but nice piece.. =)) lao shi so great! then had a really nice chat with him hehehehehe.. =))

Hope he'll continue to teach us next yr in syco!! =))

ZzZ.. head so painful.. argh >.<"" gonna burst le!

/.\

i miss....... =(

to everyone who are mugging for exams.. jia you ok!! dont give up!! you can do it!

to everyone who are starting new uni life.. jia you ok!! and all the best!! =) make more new and great friends!!

to everyone like me.. now working.. lol.. enjoy working.. haha.. dont be so stress..and lesser headache.. lol....-.-

to everyone..

lol..

stay healthy and safe always.. be happy! ^^

2008-08-04T23:21:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday's photoshot was a great exp.. =) but tiring.. didnt go for chengsan co prac cos' prac was cancelled during the afternoon.. and I missed sat and yesterday's prac.. OMG!!

Im so tired nowadays.. Perhaps suddenly I have too many commitments? especially work takes up the whole day.. and night time I have other activities..even my weekends are taken up by CO pracs..but of course its the best time to hang out with friends too..

life is really so stressed.. suddenly wanna faster go to uni..especially after seeing my other friends moving on.. kinda missed the time when I could wake up late.. hang out with friends.. but i know life is not that simple.. we must move on.. if not life would really be meaningless.. haix.. tired.. drained out.. today's my 1st day working on my own.. at first I was totally lost! hai.. though I had the list of things to do.. but still very lost and blur.. I kept staring at my notes and the computer.. and trying to understand what was happening.. worst still, in the morning I was having a really bad stomachache.. kept going toilet many times b4 going for work.. and a really bad headache at work.. think didnt sleep well last night..

but thankfully, my boss and colleagues helped me with what to do.. =')

I kinda like the environment there.. nice people.. =))

haix..

today went for SYCO prac at 7pm.. actually didnt felt like going.. cos' at first only I went for dizi section.. pauline, binghong, qinglun and hsien han not going.. but later half of the prac hsien came from his sch.. today so embarrassed.. think perhaps I was very tired.. I counted the beats wrongly.. then I was playing like double speed of the actual bars.. lol.. so paiseh la.. and my part was quite quiet so everyone was laughing..lol.. but ok la.. added some humour..lol.. then there's a solo part for the 2nd song.. and I played.. but not really well..then conductor kept correcting me.. sight-reading some more.. lol.. hai.. I must prac my dizi more.. if not.. i'll be more disappointed with myself..

lets hope for a better day tmr..

raymond take care! =)) I miss ya

2008-08-02T23:42:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Its been so long since I last blogged.. been busy recently.. so rather spend e time writing inside my diary..lol.. then blog.. =x

anyway, the past 1 week I was super busy.. started my 1st week of perm job.. from 9-6pm.. and the only thing i can say is "I'm really stressed!!" Cos' Im replacing another person and she had to pass and teach me everything within 3.5days!! cos' wed she took leave.. and other times she had to finish her work b4 teaching me..

But she's really a very nice and patient person!! Linda, all the best in your new job!! ^^

I must get used to this working life.. because I must move on and make good use of my 1 year..

I've signed up for NAC Competition this yr! yAy!! I'll be participating with Cheng San CO for the ensemble category as well as Dizi Solo..hee =)) I must really jia you.. so weekends and public holidays now are a treasure for me.. to practice my Dizi..

I'm also very motivated now.. especially after signing up the singing lesson course @ Echomusic with Raymond and Regina.. and also got to know Max who is in the same group as us.. he's really nice and funny..lol!! And Im really enjoying the time with them!! Regina's quite cute and funny too..hee.. and she's really brave!! ^^

tmr's our photoshoot le.. finally.. actually we were a bit disappointed about the programme last wk cos' we had music theory lesson instead of vocal lesson and were not told that our teacher was on leave.. then our photoshoot which was supposed to be last sat, was also postponed.. and we were only told on fri night after our theory lesson -.-

But luckily, yesterday was quite good.. finally got to learn some of the basic singing techniques like using head and chest voice.. and also the gliding sound technique from 1 octave to another.. without making your 'apple' go up.. lol.. =))

Then we practiced our duet song which we will be performing our first ever singing perf on 17 Aug.. =))

Actually Raymond and I are supposed to be perm partners but this time they wanna change partners to try out..so i'm partnering with Max and Regina with Raymond..hee.. Max and I will be singing 'Jin Tian Ni Yao Jia Gei Wo Ma" by David Tao and Jolin.. =)) Cool!!

But I like raymond and regina's song.. 'Nan Ren Nu Ren".. =))

Lets all jia you ba!! =)) hopefully, after more singing exposure.. we all will boost our confidence more!!

yAy!!

Suddenly I feel that I have so many commitments till I'm starting to feel a bit stressed, tired and packed.. I cant have time to rest or go out with friends.. except on weekends or after work..haix.. mon, wed got syco.. but until sept beautiful sun concert then stop le..yay.. then thurs teach dizi.. fri singing lesson.. only tue free.. then I have another home based job.. then sun chengsan co prac..-.-

But I like it..hehe.. cos' no stress no life.. I love stress and I am going to handle all of them!! =))

but now.. im pretty stressed about work.. cos' of another opportunity..

Sometimes I really hate myself for not able to make big decisions.. or perhaps im too greedy to accept whatever opportunities that come to me but they all come at different timings.. Perhaps.. i'm just afraid.. I wanna overcome my fear of making decisions!! argh >.<"" Im really sorry, my dear lecturers, friends and supporters.. i guessed i've been a disappointment to you all.. but i will definitely work out my fear and face it!! For now, I just wanna make good use of my time to learn more things.. to expose to different things.. and my goal: Competition. jia you jia you!! Hong Lao Shi, I need your guidance! hehehe.. I'm happy and lucky to have really great friends in my life!! thank you all! =))

moving on..

2008-07-18T10:34:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

I've found a job already.. and I'm finally moving on with my life! yAy!! =) I'll be starting my 1st day of work on 28 July from 9am-6pm..hee.. I'm really looking forward to my first perm job!! So jia you ba, Joyce!! =)

Hmm.. sent the email to keele uni and dr tan.. but they didnt reply me.. haix.. don't know whether they received it or not.. or perhaps too disappointed in me?

Anyway, I am going to participate in this yr's NAC.. ensemble and solo de.. I will work hard towards my goal!! =) I was thinking.. if I get into top 3, I shall try auditing to go China study DiZi.. haha.. so must work hard, JOyce!!

Hmm.. I still got one yr to think carefully.. and next year I will make sure I make my one decision and stick on with it! I will not repeat my mistake again!!

thanks to everyone who kept supporting me and encouraging me all the way.. if not I think I already landed up in mental hospital due to severe depression.. lol! Thanks for being so patient with me and my indecisiveness. Thanks for supporting my decision, my dear friends!! And thanks for being so concerned about me too.. the girls and the guys..hee.. =))

I feel so assured now.. and I'll remember our traffic light vow =))

finally.. phew~

2008-07-16T20:54:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

I made my final decision on Mon, 14 July 2008

and

I have decided not to go to Keele University this yr..

These 2 weeks have been busy going for job interviews.. keeping myself busy is the best way for me not to keep on dwelling about my decisions..

and I am going to settle down and find a full time job and work for a yr then I shall apply university next yr! =)

Tmr going down to company to sign up job application.. hee.. their pay quite good.. at least its better then e other interviews I went to.. may everything go well for me tmr!

I was super busy the whole of yesterday la!

Went down to Hollywood Recording Studio at 11am to help Fang Lao Shi for a River Cruise Commentary project..

Its been like 1 yr plus since I been into the studio! Kinda miss the time there with Surin, Yue Ting and Puay Chin..

And the studio changed soo much!

SUPER MESSY LA! the Mackie mixer they didnt use le.. and I was so lost with the controls!

I made so many mistakes yesterday! super paiseh and irritated!

1st thing.. no sound when we play the audio file from protools!!

I was totally lost to why no sound! I asked Fang Lao Shi whether the speaker was on.. and he said yes..then I didnt know what was wrong.. the mixer was the bigger one that we didnt use during attachment last yr.. I was totally lost about the controls and which one was the control for the volume.. and so called Surin to ask her.. She's not working there le.. so whatever has changed there she was totally clueless too..

and Fang Lao Shi called Ah Yan and finally found the problem.. we didnt on the speaker switch..which was below the cpu -.- I didnt know there was a on switch for the speakers.. cos even the speakers have changed.. not the ones I used during attachment..

Then this one solve le.. another problem came in.. Fang Lao Shi wanted me to burn half of the 60min audio as the other half has not been mixed yet.

Then so Qi Si Ren! When the audio was about the finish.. just a few seconds more, the cpu suddenly not enough procession power cos' they using normal windows PC.. not mac.. then sian.. wasted half an hour waiting for nothing.. Then no audio file too.. cos' I clicked convert audio file after bouncing.. so to save the processing power.. but still.. hai

Then I forgot how to do the other step besides boucing the audio file to disk..

I didnt dare to call Surin to ask her this if not sure kena scolded by there.. like all her teachings have been returned back to her.. =x

Fang Lao Shi was clueless about protools..and the system there too..

So ended up calling Yue Ting.. luckily she told me of the other step.. to create another new stereo track and taking all the output tracks of the audio files and bus them to the input of the stereo track.. and then record it.. oh man! how could i forgot this simple step! But relaly thanked her for her help! haha.. cos I kept calling and asking her questions for help.. =x

Then after that ok le..

Another problem again..

Cos' the stereo track is in L and R.. so 2 separate tracks.. then we needed to burn into an audio CD for the client.. then I didnt know what else to make the 2 tracks together.. so called yue ting again.. she also didnt know.. and the only thing we thought of was to import both the tracks into a new session and bounce again.. which will take another 30 mins -.- that was a bit ridiculous.. and waste of time.. I was so scared I might gave a really bad 1st time impression to Fang Lao Shi like I was really a noob..

Then he said it was ok.. we just burn both the tracks onto the CD.. and after burning it.. we played on another CD player.. cos' that computer didnt install a sound device -.- so pathetic la.. then cant play itunes or window media player.. -.- I thought something was wrong with the cd..but it was just that the computer didnt have a sound.. the protools sound device is connected to protools hardware device itself to the speaker.. so not to the computer..

BUT then.. the CD couldnt be played with the the player.. then fang lao shi used his other cds and tested.. and could be played.. but the CD couldnt be played.. got the CD duration.. but the track didnt move.. -.-

So thought the player couldnt read AIFF file cos we burned AIFF.. so went to try again.. and I called Surin.. Then she told me of the 'export region to files'.. which we all learnt during attachment last yr! so paiseh la.. forgot all about it too!! Then once we export that region to files, the L and R will become one stereo file! then i faster called yue ting to tell her..lol! she also forgot!!

Then after that, I tried to export as WAV. file instead of AIFF. file.. then wasted a lot of time to burn it again.. and checked but still couldnt be played..

Called surin again.. haix.. so paiseh kept calling her..

Then she told us to burn in x4 instead of x48.. cos' maybe the CD too old or the burner not good..

then tried.. x4.. taking even more time to burn.. but still cant.. but then the weird thing was when we imported the CD to Protools, the song could be played.. and so should be either the format of the cd was wrong or the cd player cannot read this cd.. but the format is correct leh.. audio cd.. can be played in computer and cd player..

anyway.. we ended around 230pm.. and fang lao shi fetched me to tampines mrt.. then he tried playing the cd in his car.. surprinsingly, it could be played! yay! I heaved a sigh of relief!

Then I went home first.. cos' nothing to do till 8pm.. then later met chiew hsia at 615pm at chinatown for dinner.. and chatted with her =) hee.. then she accompanied take train to simei while she alighted at pasir ris =) thanks!!

then 8pm reached hollywood recording studio again.. part II of the job.. this time.. the client came down.. and she's actually a DJ from 91.3FM.. called Denise =) she was the one who did the vocals and script for the rivercruise commentary. =)

It was a great pleasure to meet her.. and she was really very friendly.. =)

everything was going well.. with the editing of the 2nd half of the whole project..

until.. when denise had to record a few sentences of her script as it was not recorded well the previous time by another engineer..

I didnt know which mixer to use.. and cos' her mic levels were too soft and I didnt know which button to push up.. the last time I did was using the Mackie mixer but now its another thing.. so I spent quite a while finding the sound.. and Fang Lao Shi also helped me.. so we experimented the faders and see if the levels were ok.. until.. we played the song.. and "BOOM" worse still, Denise was with her headphones on.. and OH MAN!!

THAT WAS THE WORSE THING I'VE EVER DID IN A RECORDING SESSION! I almost made her deaf.. she was like 'argh'.. cos' it was painful.. haix.. I felt so guilty.. and then the talkback mic we didnt know which switch to press.. and we couldnt communicate with her.. then it was until a while later after figuring out which button to push up.. Fang Lao Shi told me Mr Goh was there.. and I quckily knocked into his door and asked him deperately for help.. haix.. and then the gain was at the protools hardware itself.. -.-

stupid me! >.<

Then after that, felt very bad.. and apologised to her again.. but she was very forgiving and nice.. =) phew~!

then the rest of the time there was ok.. hee.. we did till around 130am and she drove me home..lol.. both of us were very bad at directions.. and I gave her the wrong directions to my house.. so drove one big round.. -.-

then today super busy too..

so tired!!

Great Outings!

2008-07-12T11:31:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Yoyo! Yesterday had two great outings! =)

Met mum's bestest friend (Karin) with her twin daughters (Kimberly and Natacha) from Belgium who came to SG for a month holiday.. Met them at Seng Kang MRT and we took the train down to City Hall to meet Ah Jie, Rachel and her maid..

Auntie Karin's daughters are so beautiful and friendly.. =)) hehe.. had a great chat with them inside the train and I also got to know more about Belgium's culture and school life.. so cool! hee.. they're both 17 this yr and already in high school coming yr 2 before they graduate with a degree.. cool rite.. so young! From what they say.. their education system is like 6 yrs pri sch, 6 yrs sec sch and 2 yrs of high sch/university.. and they go into pri 1 like around 5 or 6yrs..

their shops closes at 6pm cos' its already dark.. and they don't have a lot of shopping malls like in SG.. they mostly have houses.. which are either connected or separated and the distance from their house to shopping malls is quite far..

wow!

haha.. then their school is so funky! they can learn driving at 18yrs old.. in their school! and it's for free!! they only need to pay about $2euros..about SGD$4 for the driving test! OH MAN!!

So if anyone wants to learn driving.. go study in belgium..lol!

so cool! their adult age is 18yrs old unlike SG which is 21.. and their weather for summer is like 20degrees.. while and winter it can be minus..

so cool la!! haha.. they usually eat potatoes, pastas.. and surprisingly Belgium doesnt have KFC!! only macs and pizza huts.. dun even have subways.. -.-

wow.. haha.. kinda cool to know more about them.. and the the twins learn so many languages..

their 1st language is Dutch, 2nd is French and 3rd which is English.. the 1st 3 languages are compulsory.. the 4th language theat they're taking is German.. gosh.. so many.. i wonder how they can cope with all of them without getting confused!

Their PE lessons so cool too! they have different sports activities each week.. and its like 2hrs per PE lesson.. they must learn dancing, rope skipping, and all kinds of different sports.. they even have amazing races in school which are graded too! so funky!

=) then ah jie treated us all to Lerk Thai Food at Marina Sq.. Congrats to her for being promoted to a Chemist! =))

Then after the delicious lunch, mum and ah jie plus rachel and her maid went to orchard to shop.. while I showed auntie karin and her 2 daughters around SG.. we went to the Esplanade, Merlion, SunTec Fountain.. the weather was super warm.. kept on sweating.. especially was walking around with my laptop. but it was fun to go out with them.. they are very friendly and nice! hee.. really hoping to take them to the escape theme park or downtown east or pasir ris park before they leave SG on the 23July.. =))

After that, I went for another job interview at 4plus.. the interview took quite long as the boss asked me a lot of questions but he was veyr friendly, straightforward and nice.. but one thing that i may not consider for the job is that the pay is too low.. 1 month $600.. -.- haix.. though i need to work only 30hrs per week.. but weekends also need to work.. haix..

im so confused.. auntie karin asked me to go UK..

after that, went to meet Raymond, Regina, Tobias and Samuel at Hougang KBox for singing till around 2am.. hee.. it was quite fun to hang out with his friends.. now my turn le.. but quite funny and fun! Tobias has a great voice.. sounds like some singer's voice.. =) samuel sang till so funny and low.. lol!! he's a great joker and DJ..lol! Regina also sang well.. =) Raymond too.. but think the 3 guys not enough sleep.. ton the whole night for projects.. poor thing.. We also took a lot of photos.. with Regina.. looking forward to the photos! yeah!

Anyway, today the 3 of us will be going down for a singing audition at bugis.. hope all is well.. jia you jia you! But before that, im gonna meet up with Ms Louisa Ng for lunch! yeah!! so happy!!!

Me, Natacha and Kimberly

Auntie Karin and Mum

What A BAD Hair Day!! >.<""

2008-07-08T23:20:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

This morning I spent the whole time uploading my html files into the web hosting.. but kept failing..even till now.. the website is down -.-" yesterday spent the whole afternoon and evening updating my website.. i've added more of my original works like midi compositions, original songs and video files.. =)

Then after that I went for a job interview by Soundbuzz.com Company at 11am.. was supposed to reach there at 11am but then I didnt know how to get to Keong Saik Rd at Outram Park exit.. so was kinda lost.. and by the time I got there with the help of the manager who was interviewing me, Naze, I managed to find the place.. but ended up all sweaty and so uncomfortable -.-" AND my thighs were so painful cos' the day before, I went running with Raymond and both of my thighs kept rubbing against each other till the skin tore and it hurts so much la, especially when I wore the jeans that kept rubbing against the torn skin just now!! -.-""

Then I guessed the interview was quite successful.. but one thing is that I am not sure whether it's the job that I want to do.. cos' its more of IT than related to my diploma.. the job is just converting audio file formats to other formats for mobile phones or wireless.. quite monotonous..and it has nothing to do with my diploma at all.. cos no composition or audio editing is required.. and i'm scared I'll find the job not challenging enough after a few weeks of working there..

Anyway, Naze told me he'll let me know again by the end of this week.. I'll be going for another job interview by FMO this thurs..the job im not too sure what i'll be doing.. but it is a studio.. think will do related to my diploma ba.. hopefully all goes well and its something that I like ba.. Next Mon got another job interview at GJ Creation.. its more of video editing work.. so training is needed.. hmm..

Then after interview, I went to meet Koen at AMK Hub to watch Hancock at 1pm.. the movie's quite nice and touching.. but very short only.. about less than 1.5hrs.. but really quite touching.. got one part which was the climax of the movie, I nearly teared..

spent quite a lot today.. haix.. now it's my turn to feel so bad of myself.. im like spending and spending and not earning money.. except for the dizi lesson which i'm teaching, and my monthly pocket money.. haix.. quite sick of getting allowance from my dad.. =(

And speaking of my dad, today's he fallen sick.. haix.. having flu and fever.. hope that he will get well soon! and he just scolded me yesterday.. and kept telling me to go UK study and dont waste the opportunity.. cos' its just 2 yrs and a double degree.. and then his duty is finished.. cos' he dun need to support me already.. as by then i can find a job and support myself..

sounds good rite? though i don't know if I like to be a student or not.. but being a student sounds very young to me.. lol!!

haix.. actually I know whatever reasons I give are all excuses.. cos' nothing is impossible.. there's a way to solve it like for money issue.. I guess the one good and acceptable reason I can give myself is whether I want to pursue that course or not? No matter what, if Im given full scholarship plus living expenses included, and the course doesnt interest me, its really no point to go.

I know I have passion for music.. but then I don't know why my heart is telling me not to go.. worse still, I don't know why since it is telling me not to go, why till now I have not reject the application?! Chiew Hsia asked me that night.. what is stopping me from giving up the scholarship totally? Why cant I give up and discard this heavy stress that i've been dealing with for the past 6 months?

today is already 8 July.. the accomodation letter have to be sent to keele uni by 16 july.

I dont know.. maybe i'm still immature to make the one rightful decision that i will not regret..

I think my weakness is that I don't know how to reject things.. perhaps im scared that when I reject, I will regret my decision.. that's why whenever opportunities come to me, I will accept cos' I know opportunities wont wait for me.. and when i accept them, I become so stressed..

weird aye..

anyway.. back to my story..

after a late lunch and catching up with each other with Koen when we finished our movie, I took bus 88 to Rivervale Plaza to meet Ah Mei.. Then accompanied her to eat mac.. then don't know why suddenly we felt like going to cut our hair..

then ah mei intro me a salon at Hougang Green there opposite Monfort School, having a promotion-$3.80 for all hair cuts.. so cheap man.. I could not believe my ears when she told me that.. and she said the salon is not those $10 hair cut salon or those very old or 'unprofessional-looking' salons.. she told me that they use those very gd products like loreal and shiseido..

sounds interesting, so we went there to take a look.. and to my amaze, the salon really looked like those professional salons which charge very expensive.. the salon just opened not long ago that's why having a opening promotion.. and inside got many people waiting to cut hair..

they even had a very big loreal poster inside their salon and a lot of those jap hair style books.. so we went in to try..

when it was my sis's turn.. a female hairdresser in her mid 30s or 40s, helped my sis to cut first.. and my sis was asking her which type of hair style suited her.. cos' she actually planning to thinner her hair.. and not cut a lot.. then the hairdresser called AMY.. told my sis that thinning her hair would look best on her..

so she started her haircut..

at first she looked like so professional cos' her speed of cutting was DAMN FAST! Like rushing for time.. but as she went on to thin my sis's hair.. i began to worry after seeing that AMY keeping on thinning my sis's hair like non-stop and like she's gonna cut all my sis's hair down.. and I was beginning to feel 'xin tong' for my sis after seeing lots and lots of hair on the floor getting thicker and thicker.. -.-

Then before she finished her hair cut, I could only look at my sis's side view.. so when she faced me after her hair cut, I thought she looked ok.. cos' didnt see it really clearly.. then it was my turn.. I thought it should be ok la.. cos' the poster outside the salon put.. 'hair-cut is done by professionals only'.. so thought maybe its a new style.. cos' my sis's hair is really too thick..

and then I told the hairdresser that I also wanna thin my hair.. cos' long time nv trim le.. then i left it to her.. WTH.. the moment she took her scissors to cut my hair, it felt like tearing and pulling my hair instead of cutting it.. and the scissors kept poking into my scalp.. so painful la!!

WTF.. that stupid hairdresser was super violent and was like rushing for time.. kept tearing my hair and cutting it like anyhow.. when I looked into the mirror i was like.. "OH MAN!! IS SHE GOING TO CUT OFF ALL OF MY HAIR?!" I was getting a bit worried and pissed off by her service.. kept thinning my hair like non-stop.. and the feeling was like using a pair of scissors to keep cutting a piece of paper many times.. >.<""

haix... after the hair cut, she even asked, 'how you find the hair cut?' she said my hair was very thick so cut thinner will look more natural.. then i was like giving a very astounded look to her.. and asked her 'do you think my hair has been cut till toooooo thin?' and she told me no la.. its nice.. =.=

so when she brought us to the cashier, told us that next time come again and look for her.. her name is AMY.

I'll tell her.. i'll NEVER return to the salon ever again!!

when I went home and looked at e mirror very carefully.. i was really so 'xin tong' la!! haix.. xin xin ku ku grow de long hair that can be tied evenly.. without those short hairs poking out.. and now my hair is back to square one..

I really didnt intend to cut short.. just wanna thin a bit.. but her a bit was a lot.. haix.. sob sob.. =(

I look so boyish now.. i can spike my top hair la.. and when i tie it's like super thin like one thin stretch of hair.. /.\

haix..and she cut till so uneven.. where got ppl thin hair till the top of the hair becomes super short de?!

I also wei my sis feel so xin tong.. she also regretted going.. haix.. cos' her hao bu rong yi nicely reborned long hair.. now become unevenly short poky hairs on top also.. haix.. very hard to tie also..

argh!! what a BAD hair day la! =(

now I finally learnt my lesson.. 'you will get for the price you pay'

i'll never trust those cheap hair salons ever again.. haix..............

after that went swimming with my sis.. and I puked my dinner out just now.. think indigestion..awwwwwwwwww~!

-____-"""

super f****ing pissed now!

>.<"

dear readers, pls pardon me for the violent and abusive language..

i'm just expressing out my anger..

first time.. so damn &*%$&^

SRSCO Fusion prac

2008-07-05T22:23:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

ZzZ.. i'm like half-way watching Lord of the Rings-The Return of the King (Part II) and typing blog now.. sian.. last time watched the 1st and 2nd movie of Lord of the Rings.. and actually found both of the films very nice..though a bit long and draggy..

the 3rd and last part of the film that im watching now at channel 5.. is super long la.. kinda forgot the previous story background.. so I spent like 2hrs frowning my eyebrows..totally clueless about what's going on.. but cant seem to stop watching it cos' the behind part's kinda interesting.. i like the pictures and sound..

all i know is the war part is really interesting..and great..

anyway, this morning is the 1st time i've woken so early.. at 6am.. then met weiyan(my 4EB clasmate) at hougang mac for breakfast at 7am..first time met and chatted with her after like 4yrs.. lol! then had fun knowing about how's her life now.. =)) then we went to SRS at 8am for SRSCO prac for fusion concert.. we alumnus came down to help them for a competition in mid july =) hee..

at first was like thinking so sian.. cos' playing 1 song only.. Matsuri.. but then the matsuri version arranged by Jason is super cool la!! I love the drumset beats, percussion, plus the band instruments blending in so well with the chinese orchestra instruments!! really wow!! =)) lol..

enjoyed playing the song so much.. with the juniors and also alumnus.. =)) really feel so happy for everyone to gather together and play as one..

hopefully, after this concert srsco alumni will become more active and motivated to come back and help or practice.. =))

looking forward to the next prac with everyone in 2 more weeks..

I have confidence that all our efforts will not be wasted as everyone works as one big team now! =))

SRSCO ROCKS~! =)) jia you everyone!!

anyway, after prac, we took lots of photos as a group.. hehehe.. so nice.. waiting for weiyan to send to us ^.^

then a group of us went to have our lunch at White.. =) so lucky cos there were many of us.. so the boss decided to give us student meal at $6 inclusive of main course, soup, drinks plus gst,charges... actually student meal only available from tues-fri i think.. =))

then we chatted, laughed... waited for rain to stop.. but didnt.. so ended up running to shelter..lol.. then i went to daniel's house with yapben, quanlin, and junjie.. played mahjong.. but i just learned how to play a few months ago and didnt touch it..so was very slow and blur.. then after playing and watching them play for a while, I went home first.. cos' i was very confused seeing them play at a super fast speed.. to me la..lol..

so tired..

tmr sun le..

hope i'll find a job soon! finally got reply from 2 companies.. hope they'll reply back to me again soon~~

i need a job.. cannot continue wasting my time off le!!

>.<"" So Stressed la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wake up wake up!!!!!

jia you everyone!! especially those in their final yr of poly and o levels!! ^_^

gonna continue watching tv le.. tata ^^

everyone pls stay healthy and get plenty of sleep and water,and eat regular meals to energize yourself while busy rushing projects or study ok!!

2008-07-03T20:31:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Currently reading a book 'The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. Really nice book..hee.. intro by Pauline =)

Yesterday went to school with Yue Ting to attend a welcome party for 6 keele students and Prof Mike who came down for a 1-month stay with the current DMAT students.. so cool.. Then all our lecturers were there =) Couldnt remember if Geoff was there.. didnt really see him..lol..=x

but happy cos finally got to give Tin Hee and Erica their gift I bought from Taiwan..didnt see them during graduation..

then had some chat with them.. but didnt take photo =(

anyway, can take next time! =)

then after that, went to dhoby ghaut with yue ting.. while waiting for chiew hsia to give her a surprise, we went to the arcade to play..hehe.. so fun!

Chiew Hsia and Yue Ting were supposed to meet to study for their uni..but in e end, we ended up chatting..lol!! had a great chat with them.. and got to know more about each other's past.. =))

hope our friendship will go on even after everyone moves on with their life whether is it working or studying..

Today..

haix..

My songs =))

2008-07-02T12:05:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

=) finally redo my "Bu4 Xiang3 Liu2 Nian4" song.. i still feel that the song's mix and arrangement still not really good.. but still can listen la..lol..

i also included my another original song "Zui4 Zhong4 Yao4 De4 Zhi1 Ji1" in the 3rd track.. ^_^

I love these 2 songs =))

Hope You all will like it!

cool outing =)

2008-06-28T13:24:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Just woke up..with a bad headache too.. x_X

Yesterday had the coolest outing ever..lol.. after my swim, i went to meet Yue at city hall at 430pm to shop around.. she wanted to buy a present for her aunt. After searching for 1 hr later, we managed to find a really nice and soft white handbag for her aunt at John Little =)) hee..

After that, around 645pm Hazel came to meet us and we waited for Raymond and Chiew Hsia to come.. haha.. It was quite interesting to have Raymond joining us for our gathering..

Then Yue suggested eating at Shaw House (Prince) near city hall there.. and we ate the western food called Creation.. quite affordable.. cos no service charge and gst.. think is already included inside the food.. that's why the pastas were like $10 and above.. but we ordered the set meal with soup, drinks and dessert for only $15.20.. =)

While eating, we had some great chats.. haha.. =)

After that, we wanted to watch movie at Prince.. but then the movie was too late already.. then other places too rush le.. so we ended up going to Marina Sq to play pool =)

It was so fun.. we teamed up into groups of 3 and 2.. played for 1 hr.. =)

I really enjoyed the whole outing.. yea.. looking forward to e next one.. hopefully pei zhen, ling er and mei hui will be coming.. i'll be organising =P

26 June 2008

2008-06-27T10:45:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Recently, i'm very addicted to reading books..lol.. not just any books but inspirational books.. really makes me so motivated and being positive.. you guys should read 'the Secret' by Rhonda Byrne. This book is about the secret to life-who you really are, how you can be or do anything that you want. Inside it contains many quotes and wisdom from successful people/teachers..

The next book I'm currently reading is 'Follow your Heart' by Andrew Matthews. This book is superb.. and most importantly, its easier to understand what the writer is trying to say. What makes this book so interesting is that it has comic pictures inside the book as the writer is also a cartoonist.

Haha.. you guys might be thinking why suddenly I'm so addicted to these type of books.. hopefully after reading all these, i will make up my decision whether to continue music or to move to a new path in my life..

Yesterday received a weird call from PSD (Public Service Division).. saying that i've applied for their scholarship and the person asked me if I got Diploma with Merit and to scan and send it to her email add.. I dont remember applying for PSD scholarship.. think is my lecturer who helped me..

So now im so confused..

I am such a procrastinator.. lol

anyway, went to meet Bee Yan at TM at 820pm.. then we had a great chat.. and watched 'Get Smart' at Century Square at 915pm.. The movie's really Hilarious!! hahahahaha!! should go watch if you guys havent!!

laugh till your pants drop..lol..

=)) yea..

"Laughter attracts joy, releases negativity, and leads to miraculous cures"

so laugh more, people! ^_^

24062008

2008-06-25T00:33:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Recently, I borrowed an incredible book titled 'the one decision' by Judith Wright.. today i finished reading the 1st part of the book.. the 2nd part is actually a '30-day to your one decision' exercise.. which ihave to spend 30 days to make up my One Decision in Life.. lazy to do that, i read thru e exercises at one go..lol

anyway, its really an inspiring book.. i love to read books that motivates and inspires ppl, most importantly, self-improvement.. still trying my best to improve myself..though i know weakness are so hard to change.. cos' they've been a habit..

The book had made me a bit confusing though.. one thing was asking us to look for adventure in our life.. on the other hand, to look into your heart's desires.. adventure=go keele.. heart desires=don't go keele.. lol! contradicting mind again..

anyway, after spending the afternoon reading that book, I went to SGH alone for my jaw results checkup.. it seemed that my blood test and back xray results were pretty good.. previously blood test showed POSITIVE.. they were suspecting I had lupus disease or something.. but today's was NEGATIVE.. everything gone down.. quite happy.. but so confused.. anyway before seeing the doc, I was already so pissed off.. i was late for 14mins and I waited for 1hr for my turn.. for that 1hr, there were only 4 patients before me..

so it seemed that it's not the number of ppl.. but the efficiency of the doctor..

so weird.. everytime i see diff docs.. and today's was very obvious, a NEWBIE.. he didnt know how to see my xray results and asked another professor from the other room to come in and explained to us about the results..

so weird.. i asked them how come my jaw is still painful.. but they didnt give me a definite ans.. cos' mabe my case is one of a kind.. lol... then e professor prescribed me a medicine used for depression.. but then also can treat nerve pain.. hope after finishing the 56 tablets for 56 days, my jaw will recover..

so weird eating the medicine used for people with depression called 'amitriptyline'..

The doc say it may cause drowsiness, dry mouth.. i checked online.. and found that it may even cause severe weight gain.. OMG!!!

luckily the dose very light only.. 10mg..

feel so sleepy now.. after eating e medicine.. ZzZ..

anyway, after that, chiew hsia called me and chatted till i reached home..lol.. don't know this fri stll meeting up with M7 peeps or not.. so many not free suddenly.. haix..

then at 730pm went to meet the rest to celebrate Yi Jia's birthday today..

before i write what happened just now, I wanna wish Yi Jia a 'Happy 19th Birthday!!" =) today'sher first time celebrating with friends.. its indeed super memorable and happy!!

just now SUPER PAISEH!! I forgot to top up my EZLink Card.. then when i board e bus 119.. die.. no coins too.. only got 5cents.. then searched my wallet and found $2.. luckily.. so saw 2 ladies sitting down and asked them whether they had $2 change.. the younger lady only had 90cents.. just enough for the bus ride to Kovan.. and I gave her my $2 for 90cents.. actually i didnt mind cos' i was really relieved for someone so nice to help me.. =) never felt so relieved before.. but guess wad, the next stop they were alighting and the lady handed me my $2 back.. and said 'don't need'.. i was super shocked and touched!! Can't imagine in this planet, there's still super nice and friendly ppl around!! I thanked them and smiled happily.. lol..

i guessed its been a long time since i did something good to others too.. like doing charity or volunteer work.. I can still remember when I was a child, I love to give up my seat to others.. I enjoyed doing it.. but as I grew older, I rather sit down.. cos' to have grabbed a seat among the crowd, it's gd luck! lol.. -.-

so bad rite..

i must do more good deeds from now on!! =))

anyway, then met Yap Ben.. so funny we were on e same bus.. but he went upper deck.. didnt saw him.. cos I was chatting with Raymond on e phone..lol

then we bought strawberry with chocolate sponge cake for Yi Jia..

then Raymond, James, Jason, Angie and Yik Loong came shortly.. and we ordered food, chatted, laughed and joke and took pics!

so happy to go out with them!! =))

yea.. I enjoyed my day today! =))

thanks, everyone!

Just now chatted with my cousin Luis on MSN and he gave me some good suggestions about going keele or not.. hmm.. i'll think about it.. thanks a lot!!

good night!!

I miss everyone.. especially....... =)

tmr and everyday will be a good day to look forward to.. ^_^

jia you everyone!

20 JUNE 2008

2008-06-21T11:33:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

today went out with SRSCO juniors and buddies.. to shop, watch CO Camp Concert, eat, play, chat..

yea it was fun knowing new ppl

=)

18 JUNE 2008

2008-06-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

today went to watch movie-The Incredible Hulk, with Chiew Hsia. The movie's really so incredibly amazing! I love the sound effects-sub woofers, plus the really great pictures!! but sad thing is there's no ending.. so its like The Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Carribean.. have to wait for the next movie Incredible Hulk II..

But overall, rocks!!

anyway, hope Raymond's back will recover soon.. then can go running le! yeah.. =)) hope the chiropractic really helps!! ^^

After the movie, went to meet Mei Hui at Best Denki.. she promotes Panasonic healthcare products..haha.. then so funny.. chiew hsia and I tried their massage chairs, and the galloping horse thingy.. so funny.. really relaxing.. free massage.. lol.. first time ever dared to try those massage chairs on display.. cos' usually ppl try them are rich older people..

then after that went to BK to chat and have our supper..

oh man.. i eat too much recently.. getting fatter again.. =x

tmr must go swimming and do the 3 sets of warm-ups le.. yea!! =))

just now had a great chat wif zhi yuan.. so surprised that he'll call me at this late hour.. haha.. basically to ask us to support him for his play on this fri and sat at Seng Kang CC..he'll be acting.. so anyone interested can tell me.. hee.. tickets $8..time 7pm or 730pm.. forgot..lol.. usual price is $15.. according to him..lol..

I miss....... haha.. nights~! =D

17 JUNE 2008

2008-06-17T23:05:00.011+08:00

Dear Diary,

Hehe.. these few days so happy! =D have been going out with raymond.. long time didnt go out with him le.. especially when sch started..

Yesterday accompanied raymond to see the Chiropractic doctor..before that, went to Alexandra Hospital to get his MRI scan report.. hope after the therapies, his back will recover fully! Jia You, Raymond!! *GAMBATE* ^_^

Then suddenly decided to watch movie.. but Toa Payoh de slot already over.. then took bus to AMK Hub.. lol.. movie marathon.. watched Chronicles of Narnia and Sex and the City (again).. haha..but both of the movies were really nice and rocks!! I love the Narnia sound effects and pictures.. really amazing and 'WOW'.. for sex and the city, I love the story plot.. really touching and romantic..hehe..

Then today noon I went to SGH to take blood tests and back xray..for my jaw prob.. haix.. hope the results will be good.. next week's gotta see e doc le.. with e results.. *DANG*

After that, went to meet Raymond at PS at 215pm.. then we ate lunch.. omg..haha.. really guilty.. cos i wanted to try the TV Programme 'Qiang Tan Da Xing Dong' the stall at Orchard Cineleisure.. so we walked all e way from PS to Orchard..on e way bought the old chang kee new chicken and mushroom (sotong) ball..quite nice.. haha.. then quite disappointed with the HK Roast food.. cos' the standard like drop.. not really nice.. haix.. that time on tv the stall got full 5 signatures from the chefs somemore..

-.-""

then we went to eat Mac's Green tea ice-cream! *Yummy*

and shopped around orchard.. till about night time.. then bought a new pair of slippers and perfume =)) hehehehe..

then we ate at fish & co.. the food's really nice!! *he's good at taking photos* *Drooling*

=)) then went back to hougang mall and raymond bought a new watch. really nice! ^^

=D *HAPPY*

hope everyone will be stronger after all these recent mishaps and unhappiness, and live + treasure each day happily..

"Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision. But today well lived makes yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of HOPE. Look well therefore to this day."

"Yesterday was HISTORY, Tomorrow is a MYSTERY, Today is a GIFT, That's why its called the PRESENT"

"You can't have a better tomorrow if you're thinking about yesterday all the time. You may not be able to forget what has gone before, but you can stop dwelling on it"

"Don't be afraid of your NEGATIVE thoughts: Just know them for what they're-NOT the truth, just NEGATIVE thoughts. Give them NO house room in your consciousness and they'll dissolve into what they're-FALSE ideas, FALSE concepts, with NOTHING to sustain them"

and to him..

"The greatest success is not in NEVER failing, but RISING in every time you FALL"

"Failure is the OPPORTUNITY to begin again, MORE intelligently"

SO EVERYONE, JIA YOU BA!!!

nights~! ^_^

i love night time cos' i can start dreaming in my own world..hehehehehe.. =D

time is ticking..

2008-06-14T13:51:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

haha.. wed's MDA interview didnt go that well i guess.. =( haix.. they say only sponsor for tuition fees if I get selected and I must wait till mid july then will know the results.. wad if I dont receive? cos' i calculated again, if they can sponsor my full tuition fees, I will need to spend about SGD$23,000 per year on my accomodation, air fare and living expenses..

If not, I will have to pay SGD$40,000 per year.. roughly estimated.. -_-

Haix.. the interviewers were a bit fierce and unfriendly looking.. so especially when they told me that the scholarship only can cover tuition fees, i was like sian 1/2..

cos' their website put cover fees up till maximum of $100K per year.. or $50K.. but didnt put tuition fees only.. then when I went to apply for the scholarship online, I had to also put down the accomodation and cost of living expenses etc..

yi chang huan xi yi chang kong..

then so sian.. I brought and prepared so many things just for the interview.. even brought my laptop to show them my original works and my certs/achievements.. but they didnt bother to take a look..

then i guess i was quite disappointed after they told me only can sponsor tuition fees and asked me whether I can afford the living expenses there, till I forgot to ask them about the criteria of the scholarship when I return to SIN after graduation.. oh man!!

So i really thought about it these few days.. after speaking to sooooo many ppl.. and asking them for suggestions and stuffs..

going keele university is definitely a super rare opportunity.. and actually I only study for 1 and a half years.. less than 2 yrs.. cos sept start sch.. then april-may got 1 month of break and june-sept another 3 months of break.. which I can return back to SIN for the 1st yr..

then 2nd yr.. I can dont come back.. use the april-may break to study for final yr or travel around UK.. then guess wad.. june 2010 i'm back to SIN...with a Dual Hons BA in Music and Music Technology..

but the problem is the money..

i just calculated.. the airfare is $1459.. one way trip..

13hr25mins journey..

cos' UK and SIN time difference of 7 hours..

meaning.. UK 3pm, SIN 10pm

then I got another idea..

Im going to study Psychology in NUS next yr..

which means for now till next yr, I will go find a full time job.. related to my diploma..

earn some money..

next yr try applying for local scholarships.. if can..

and then spend my next 7yrs to get a Masters in Psychology.. and then become a psychiatrist or a counsellor.. lol..

wad a dream..

but sch fees is about $6360 per yr for undergraduate course.. 4yrs.. if with a Degree Hons..

at least will have time to earn and save for the money..

so how??

if i choose psychology.. i will spend a lot of time studying..

if i choose keele.. only less than 2 yrs.. but money is such a hindrance.. lol!!

anyway,

im sure i will work things out very soon.. though i keep saying it.. just to make myself feel better..

time is ticking..

bleah...... X_X

Kungfu Panda rocks!!

lol.. went to watch with my ah mei on thurs.. lol!!

i wanna watch the Chronicles of Narnia =(

im such a movie freako.. hahaha

12 JUNE 2008

2008-06-11T00:52:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

bOo-ya-aH~!

i'm now addicted to KIM POSSIBLE show! lol.. sounds childish rite.. but dont know why.. I only watch Spongebob Squarepants or Kim Possible nowadays.. partly due to starhub cable tv.. had the kids channel-Disney and Nickelodeon.. But so SAD!! now no more cable tv le =( cos' parents complain too EXPENSIVE.. then only I watching the cable tv shows.. lol..

BUt so happy.. cos i found kim possible series at tudou.com =))

really love to see Kim and Ron together and how both of them being best friends and then slowly turning into lovers.. *aww..*

^___^

great show.. haha..

Ron's clever pet, the naked mole rat, Rufus rocks too!! lol.. wade their intelligent genius friend who gives Kim all her missions and weapons also rule! =) whahahaha!

anyway..

enough of my cartoons..lol

today went back to SRS.. with yi jia and yap ben..

yu fang, peggy, chai huat, rui xiang and hui yi also went back..

so sad, thought can see xu lao shi but he didnt come..

Chen Lao Shi's back to conduct SRSCO!

rocks~!

they playing fen yong qian jing..love the song!!

then after that, went to meet chiew hsia at PS..

we watched Sex and The City!! Actually wanted to watch Narnia de.. but chiew hsia didnt watch 1st movie.. so scared didnt understand.. tickets so fast selling fast for KungFu Panda, Narnia and Sex and the City la! luckily we clever.. didnt queue up the long queue line.. instead, we went for the express ticket machine.. no extra charge too..lol!! so funny!! ^^

The movie ROCKS man!

I love the show so much.. 2 and a half hours.. watched from 9pm-1130pm! lol!!

really meaningful..

showing about how strong the 4 women's friendships are..

also about love and forgiveness between a couple..

really touching.. hilarious and romantic!

awww... =)))

8 JUNE 2008

2008-06-09T01:03:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today woke up not feeling so well.. so actually msged chiew hsia at around 3am (after I puked), saying that not meeting her at AMK at 115pm le.. haix.. I got flu again!! haix.. keep on sneezing.. think these few days ate a lot of heaty food..lol..

So ate medicine and slept for a while before meeting jason at tampines for gig perf..

Angie and James also came to support us..haha..

today's gig perf is the most successful and best out of my 3 gig perf with jason and 2 with hui ling.. Hui Ling's really so gd at improvising and accompanying la!! pei fu her!! =)) She's very friendly too..hehehe..

Then was actually supposed to go Ah Ma's house to celebrate Dumpling Festival and my Ah Gong's early birthday..*Happy Birthay in Advance, Ah Gong* but then very late le..so went to have dinner with james angie and jason.. then we walked around tampines mall.. and guess who we saw.. Zhen Han.. and his friends.. lol.. he changed so much.. =))

tired man.. but had a great day.. hope this coming fri.. can go sing k with the rest!! =))

Papa brought home cake and durian..lol.. but cannot eat durian.. cos i too heaty liao.. wait sore throat then die...

*ah Choo*

hope i will get well soon..lol..

ZzZzzzzzz...

7 JUNE 2008

2008-06-09T00:19:00.010+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today's such a memoriable day!! SYCO ANNUAL CONCERT! ^^ This year's SYCO actually not that bad afterall.. as compared to last yr's.. last yr was super boring la.. partly cos' I was not active in SYCO..

This year rocks.. like 2006's.. I missed and loved 2006 SYCO so much!! Haha.. anyway, went to meet Pauline at Serangoon MRT at 1215pm.. *opps*.. was supposed to meet her there at about 1145am instead but I was late..so paiseh!! she called me like at 950am when I just switched on my HP..haha.. saying the rest meeting at VivoCity at 12pm.. haha..

Then in e end, we reached at about 1230pm and walked around Vivo aimlessly before we decided to have our lunch first at BK.. lol.. the rest havent reach..lol =D

Then after that, we went to Sasa to buy some makeup stuffs.. before meeting Yu Heng, Min Hui, Zhi Wen and the rest at Pastamania.. =))

Then so funny.. we went to the B1 the chocolate and candy shop to buy sweets for our mortals.. we played an ANGEL-MORTAL game.. so each person is an angel and also a mortal.. the angel is supposed to buy a gift for his/her mortal.. so fun!! =) lol..

My angel gave me a mentos and kit kat on thurs and fri.. and guessed what, i received another sweet from my angel today! =)) so happy!! Im so excited to see who my angel is on wed.. they'll be revealing it during our Qing4 Gong1 Yan4.. =))

Then so funny again.. they started to gossip about ppl.. haha.. e 99% dark chocolate.. and the chilli chocolate.. =x though gossiping is pretty bad.. haha.. but without any gossips, life would be so boring.. im sounding bad too.. =x

lol..

Then after that, we went to the arcade to play games.. but I only watched them play..so interesting.. haha.. then jun yuan, yun yi, jia wei they all joined us later.. then jing wen and jun yuan was like so addicted to play the stacking-blocks-luck game.. almost won the major prize la!! so ke xi..

Then after that, we took a group photo before we left for SCH.. and they all sang the 'lao pa sa' song.. lol!!! =))

Then after that was preparation for concert and briefing..then a guy made a long and weird speech for missing out the 1st half of yesterday's rehearsal..lol... then continued to take more photos.. took a full CO pic.. finally man.. think last yr didnt take.. =(

First time felt like im in SYCO.. as a big family.. like so tuan2 jie2.. =))

Then the concert was a success! I think this yr's concert is really much better than last yr's!! =)) but sad la.. srsco ppl didnt come =( only ming kwang came to watch.. haha..

took photos with a few SCO musicians.. they're all my idol man! so happy to see them..hehehe.. =D

Then after the concert, went to get the soloists (Chang Le and Yvonne) and conductors' singnatures.. both of them played really well!! =))

After that, we went to Marina Sq the Hong Kong Cafe for supper.. first time joining them for supper.. really happy!! I think if Pauline, didnt join SYCO.. perhaps this yr would be the same as last yr.. haha.. =) thanks Pauline!! ^^ sadded.. syco concert so fast over le.. the 2nd half of the yr one.. quite sian.. not many dizi songs.. =(

Anyway it was really fun to chat with them!! =) Its nice to know more about them too.. We chatted till like 1230am.. then took cab home with Jun Yuan, Ming Kwang and Pauline.. =))

And now im looking forward to the qing gong yan on wed night!! =D

SYCO ROCKS!! ^_^ (Photos are precious memories)

yay!! thanks, Zhi Wen for your camera!! ^^

i missed ....... =( mind was a bit messed up when i was lying on my bed.. reached home and threw up the bread I ate.. lol.. x_x

syco marathon

2008-06-05T00:13:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

So tired this whole week.. mon-sat syco rehearsal.. but its really fun!! I think this is the time when everyone becomes more like a big family.. yesterday and this morning went for co prac at 9am-1030am with SCO musicians to accompany for GuZheng Solo concerto. The atmosphere inside is like so stressful!! cannot play play.. if you're out of tune by a bit.. its really obvious and the musicians will like look at you.. stressed but good experience!! =)) How i wish i could have the same mentality and discipline as the lao shis.. so professional!! ^^

Then this morning after prac.. went to have a nice long chat with Qing Lun and Hsien Han @ Starbucks.. didnt expect we talked from 10plus am-1230pm.. lol! quite interesting chatting with them and getting to know more about themselves and other ppl (gossip)..lol!! also talked about Hsien Han's NS life..sounds really exciting but scary and cruel too..

anyway, so funny!! we SYCO got dresscode de.. mon everyone wore RED, tues was BLUE, today was WHITE, tmr is GREEN (my fav.colour yeah=P), and fri is BLACK.. and we took pics together after everyday's prac.. so cool!!=))

really looking forward to playing Ga Da Mei Ling with the SCO Musicians tmr night!! =)) Really wanna thank Pauline also la.. cos she gave me the chance to play.. =))

Haix.. i guessed this SYCO annual concert'll be the last concert for me ba.. sure will miss pauline and the rest! haix.. she not joining next yr le.. =(( sadded..

Next yr Guo Lao Shi's back man.. oh gosh!!

=)))

2008-06-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

bought a new hp.. =) W890i

And I love it so much! ^_^

So ppl if u got any nice msg do msg me.. lol!!

Cos I feel so empty now.. =S

anyway, had a great time shopping with pauline =))

Yeah.. =))

Syco was tiring too.. =x

ZzZzZ...

tmr 9am-1030am and 7pm-930pm.. -.-

my train fare..

So EXPENSIVE LA >.<""

Oyasuminasai mina~!

2008-06-01T21:41:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Wa.. today woke up with neck, shoulder, back, thighs, arms and stomach muscle aches..lol.. yesterday went to exercise with raymond finally.. it was great! =)) hope can slim down soon..

Btw, I received MDA's call yesterday saying that I'm shortlisted for their interview on 11 June regarding the MDA scholarship. Since I am shortlisted, I will and must definitely do well for the interview. But then Im not sure what are their requirements when I return from UK.. all I know is that I must do a 2-year bond in media related industries..but can do so within 5 yrs of my return. And i'm also not sure whether would they be sponsoring my full tuition fees plus living expenses.. if can, that would be the best...

I was also thinking through.. what if they cant? How?? Cos' $40K per yr is a huge sum of money..

Then I also thought through.. I can still go NIE when I get my degree cert next time.. So I've decided to reject NIE's offer.. Cos' I don't want to be tied up for 8yrs as I am not sure whether is teaching really my passion or not?

And something just came to my mind.. why I didnt thought of going to NAFA?? They also provide 2yr degree course BA (Hons) in Music..And I just emailed to the admissions office whether with a diploma in Music and Audio Technology, can I still pursue NAFA's BA in Music? Cos' one thing good is that, the cert is quite recognised according to Jason.. and then I also get to further my dizi and music.. Now waiting for their reply..

Though the registration for NAFA's Degree programme is now closed, I can still apply for next yr.. and in the meantime, I can go find full time jobs.. earn money and save for the tuition fees.. cos i heard tuition fees is about $14-16K per yr..

hmm.. so now is hope that I can get through MDA's interview and that they can sponsor as much as they can..

If Not,

Then i'll hope that NAFA's Degree programme can allow my Dip cert to study BA in Music.. and then I'll go work in the meantime..

I shall not think of the worse now..

Cos' I know I'll find my path soon.. If really choi choi both also cant.. then I'll wait for next yr to apply to local uni doing some other course..

But I know, I wont be spending $40K for UK.. cos' my family cant afford it.. and from wad I heard from my mum, though my father keep saying he can afford it, these few weeks he's getting sleepless nights cos' of the money issues..

I dont want to be a burden to my family!!

So pls Buddha, guide me to my path soon..

Thank You!!

Yesterday's and today's gig perf was quite interesting but super stressed.. a bit messed up.. lol!! Finally returned my graduation robe yesterday with yue ting.. and went to Causeway point with hazel and yue to shop and eat.. before meeting jason for perf.. =))

I miss .......

30 May 2008

2008-05-31T00:13:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today morning went for dizi lesson.. so long didnt go for lesson le.. partly cos lao shi was busy with his wedding preparations..lol.. =))

then after that slacked at home.. and at night went to jin yin co at Toa Payoh CC.. first time saw Zhang Yu Ming Lao Shi.. didnt look like what I had expected in mind.. lol..

Felt so strange inside.. luckily hsien han accompanied me blow dizi.. if not being with the other 3 xiao di dis very weird.. they got attitude prob man..

Dont know should join them or not.. very far leh.. i realised it took me almost an hour to reach there by bus 163..

hmm.. saw Kai Xiang..lol..he came down to look around.. then hsien han and I took photo with him.. his idol.. lol =) Today also finally got to ride a friend's car.. Hsien Han's pretty good at driving..hahah.. i wonder when's my turn.. hmmmm... =))

29 May 2008

2008-05-30T16:49:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today was super tiring.. morning went to MOE at Buona Vista for the appointment briefing.. then realised actually being a teacher got many benefits like dental, hospital, leaves, etc..But then I'm given 2 more weeks to accept/reject their offer as I told them during the 1-1 session that I was offered to teach math in pri sch but I dont like.. so still waiting for the person in charge to reply my email regarding whether can I change to teaching music. Then really hope I can get to teach 'O' Level music and not those normal sec sch music lessons.. teach them play recorder.. cos' not challenging enough.. Best if I can further study Music Technology during or after NIE.. don't know leh.. the person was very friendly and understanding. Just got to receive the MOE in charge's email reply. Think should be can change to music.. but havent confirm yet..

anyway, after that, went to teach my student dizi.. saw Qing Lun and Wei Kang at White Sands.. lol.. then after teaching dizi.. saw Xiang Le at Pasir Ris station..lol...

Then met Pauline at City Hall at 340pm.. we went shopping.. hehe.. =)) bought a few things.. then at around 6pm Casper and Bing Hong arrived and we bought present for Lin Lao Shi..Casper so skinny liao la!! so funny!! =)) We talked about Nodame Cantabile show.. he also addicted to it..=D

Then later at 7pm, we met Xiang Le at Marina Sq the Mac there.. and we were deciding where to have our dinner.. actually wanted to go HotPot Culture.. but then inside already full house.. only left outside.. and at that time was quite warm outside.. so I suggested Lerk Thai cos' ate 2 times before and quite nice.. Bing Hong suggested Thai Express too.. then we went to see.. they felt that Lerk Thai's good cos' of the environment inside.. then so embarrassing... there were 7 of us altogether including Qing Lun and Lin Lao Shi who havent arrive.. and the seats were like max for 5 ppl.. so we asked the waitresses to arrange for 7 of us..

then when lin lao shi arrived.. so funny.. we looked at the menu and then he asked whether is there any other place to eat.. then we told him our original plan.. then after that we thought since Qing Lun havent arrive and we havent order any thing yet.. why not go back to hotpot culture to check whether there's still space? lol.. so paiseh man!!!!!!!!!!!

And we just stood up and left.. i think the waitresses and manager was like 'what the hell?'..

so paiseh.. lol!! we so xiao1 sha3 de walk off.. -.-

anyway, we went back to the hotpot culture.. and then still the same.. only left outside seats.. so no choice.. but luckily got a bit of wind..

hehe.. ate a lot!!! the cooked foods were nicer than the raw ones cos the raw ones very little variety.. Qing Lun also came shortly..chatted a lot and we were so paiseh man.. cos Lin Lao Shi treated us.. bill was like $160++.. so paiseh but really happy and thankful!! next time will be our turn to treat lao shi back le!! actually didnt expect him to treat cos' we arranged for a gathering.. just to catch up with the syco previous and current dizi ppls.. like xiang le and casper now ns le.. hardly see them.. so sad that Ting Kai, Jonathan and Hsien Han couldnt come.. =) We talked till around 1030pm and lin lao shi gave Casper, Pauline and I a ride to Serangoon MRT.. hehehe.. =)

Thank You, Lin Lao Shi!!! =))))

waiting for pauline's photos.. =) hehe.. i didnt take a lot..

=) cheers!!

28 May 2008

2008-05-30T15:42:00.007+08:00

Dear Diary,

I was officially graduated from Singapore Polytechnic on 28 May 2008. This day was really a memoriable day for DMAT first-batch of students and myself! =)

Met Hazel and Yue Ting for late lunch at FC4 at 3.30pm. Was supposed to meet them at 230pm instead but was late cos' didnt know it'll take me like 2 hrs to prepare myself at home for the graduation. lol!

Saw Wee Siong at Dover MRT his hair so messy..lol..

Then at 430pm we proceed into the Convention Centre.. My mum and ah mei arrived shortly too and we were seated separately. Wee Kiat, Lydia, Edwin and I sat at the front and were separated from the rest of our classmates.. The ceremony was kinda boring cos' I sat with a total stranger.. Then the new director of DMIT-School of Design, Media and Info-Communications (previously known as SMIT but they changed the school name like 3 times liao..lol), stood on the stage and shook hands and took photos with like 550++ graduands of different courses.. DMAT was the 2nd last course to receive our certs cos' they go by alphabetical order.. the applause was like never ending..lol.. I also saw my ex-4EB classmates like Hawa, Jasmine and Daniel Tay receiving their certs..lol..

But so sad.. cos' the 4 of us DMAT ppl needed to wait till the last one to receive our diploma with merit award and prizes.. But I was really very happy and proud of myself being able to achieve and do well for my 3yrs of course! I really want to thank my lecturers, classmates, great friends and most importantly my parents for their continuous supports, guidance and help!! Thank You!!

I was even more touched when I heard that Serangoon Sec new vice principal, Mr Richard Phua, came down the 2nd time to witness my graduation ceremony and stayed on to congratulate me and took photos! Thank You for your support, Mr Phua!! I was really touched!!! ^^

Then after the ceremony, we needed to go to a reception room to take photos and of course eat..lol.. so happy! I got to see Jimmy, Dr Tan, DMIT directors and committee..etc. Took photos and chatted with them!! But sadded cos' some of the photos we took were blurred and dark.. =x

The THOH Music Company person-in-charge who awarded me with the THOH Music award, also came down to congratulate me! Really so happy!! =))

Then my lecturers were very concerned about my decision..but then I still cannot decide yet.. cos' I told them about my issue.. Dr Tan also thinks that $40K is a bit on the high end.. but they were very understanding and told me if I have any probs do feel free to seek them. Jimmy also gave me some advice.. I told him that I got into NIE but teaching Math and I don't like.. then he said Ian got into Music.. then I was surprised..cos' when I went for the interview the interviewers said they don't offer music in NIE.. so contradicting..lol.. (anyway, I called Ian up at night and he had a great chat with me regarding NIE.. so should be alright.lol)

After that, I also gave the lecturers their souvenirs to thank them!! hehehe.. but sad thing was I didnt get to see Erica and Tin Hee.. they went off le.. so sad =( haix..

took photos with my coursemates.. so fun but a few didnt attend for graduation and some like Ling Er and Puay Chin left le.. haix.. sadded.. so actually didnt take a lot of photos.. haix..

But Im sure to miss DMAT a lot!!! I've never been so happy studying before I came to SP!!

Thank You Everyone!! =)) I'll miss ya all~!! =')

Me before leaving house..lol

Convention Centre

Mr Richard Phua, Mum and sis

Thank You, My lecturers!

DMATs!!

2008-05-27T18:40:00.007+08:00

Dear Diary,

haix.. sian.. kena cheated by the facilitator job.. now nv call us for any trails le.. and because of that facilitator job i gave up my 3-day event job at suntec..-.- stupid me..

anyway.. sian.. havent receive my pays yet.. the mediacorp one, TFWA event, facilitator, konghwa.. -.-

received call from some tuition agency a few days ago say got a student pri 3 asked me to teach english.. then say call me back later but till now no news.. then relief teaching also no news.. haix.. hopefully this weekend's gig perf is confirmed..

yesterday at syco was horrible too.. hai.. dun wanna say liao.. cos partly also my fault ba.. for not attending a lot of the pracs.. but a lot really due to valid reasons.. sick, sch events, overseas..

Actually wanted to go reborn my hair yesterday too.. cos Hazel and Yue Ting reborned their hair at Kimage School at Funan IT Mall for like $40-50++ only!! that was so cheap la.. and guessed what, when I called them, they say $100!!-.- then i told them my hair was about the same as Hazel's shoulder length and she said shoulder length is $100.. short hair is $50.. so big diff!!! and maybe tt time the person charged hazel wrongly or something.. diao.. -.- haix.. so think wo3 gen1 reborn hair mei2 you3 yuan2...

my jaw is getting more and more painful.. like my head and ear gonna explode soon.. the pain is so excruciating..

still no news from MDA or MOE regarding the scholarship application.. only received NAC de so far and kena rejected.. cos incomplete submission..

that day went to sch to collect my cert for being top for the semester.. lol.. surprisingly.. but really happy.. but ended up a really embarrassed situation.. my lecturer forgot to inform the admin office that i was coming so after waiting for so long.. my name was not called up.. and it was damn embarrassing.. cos my junior and coursemate edwin were wondering why I didnt have.. I was so scared that my lecturer made a mistake that I was actually not top.. or something..-.- haix.. shuay.. but luckily admin office prepared my cert.. if not a wasted trip..

then just know the singing competition results.. I didnt get in.. but anyway, I dont really care la.. just went there for experience.. so didnt put up a lot of high hopes to get into the next round. But anyway must congratulate Hazel and Ryu for getting into the next round! "

"Daniel you must continue to jia you too!! Go participate in NYP's singing contest if they have ba! Im sure you'll be able to do it!!!" =))

Oh no man.. thursday is the NIE appointment briefing le.. and I just sent an email to the person in charge asking whether can I change my course to teaching music.. Bachelor of Arts instead of Bachelor of Science teaching math.. cos' i know i really hate math.. and I definitely wont be happy studying it.. 4 yrs still!

but 2 days le.. still no reply from them.. I sent to another person incharge of the music section but he told me to email to the admission office or something.. and say better confirm before i go for the appointment briefing.. but still no reply.. i still have tmr left.. wad if by tmr I still dont receive their reply? how?? should i go for the briefing on thurs?? or email to them to reject my application??

haix.. tmr is my graduation le.. so fast.. how i wish im still in poly..=( growing up is so horrible cos we have to make so many decisions that will affect us in our later life.. this is my turning point in life le... really cant regret any of my decisions.. oh man..

how good it'll be if I can teach music at NIE.. this will mean i get to study music and learn how to teach music.. and don't have to worry about the money.. oh gosh! why didnt i tot of asking them whether can I change course or not earlier on??!! I must be mad day dreaming all day long.. only got to wake up on sun night when I realised actually can try asking them.. wa kao.. so last min la..

-.-""

pls God.. help me for the last time.. at least let me receive their reply by tmr.. so i can make up my final decision.. learn and teach Music at NIE or go Keele Uni..

everything seems not to be working out right for me these days.. is it my own fault? Or im just being shuay..

btw these few days been watching Wars of In-Laws II.. the modern version online.. so damn nice la!! im addicted to it le..lol!