Dear Diary,

This year's 20th Birthday has been a really enjoyable one! =) Heehee..
Thank You everyone who celebrated for my birthday with me and also sent/gave me all the good wishes and presents! =)) I'm indeed very touched and happy!! Especially with all the surprises and lovely presents!! I love all of them!! ^^

THANKS A LOT, my great buddies!! ^_^

I'm very happy and grateful to have so many good and caring friends~!! =D whahahaha!!

So fast 20 yrs old le.. =( no more teen.. next yr officially adult le.. but then still long la..lol!! Well, my wish for my birthday is very simple.. Just hope that all my loved ones and friends who I treasure and care for, will stay Happy and Healthy ALWAYS~! And of course.. to be safe and sound too.. =)) Lesser disasters.. Family peace.. inflation faster go away.. World peace.. China food faster get well soon.. so we can continue to eat without any worries~ =)) I guess.. my wish is too greedy le ba..

=)

Tonight I'm sure I'll be having lots of sweet dreams!! =)

I LOVE all of my great friends~~!!!!

Today, I had a really enjoyable time~ =) Watched High School Musical 3 with Raymond at Cathay The Grand.. the movie's really nice! I love their dance steps and choreography~!!

Thanks a lot, Raymond for spending my birthday with me~! =')

I really appreciate and love whatever things you've done for me..

I also appreciate everyone's concern about me too!!

Thank You Thank You Thank You!!! ='))))

Have a good night's rest, everyone~!! =D

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

aww.. today's such a tiring day.. from morning 1030am-130pm.. was at ChengSan CC having prac with the ensemble for competition.. after that, went to buy lunch with Yu Ren and 'da bao' to TPCO.. then we had rehearsal there from 2plus to about 3plus.. and reached S'pore Flyer at around 4pm.. so tiring.. helped to carry their instruments.. and the school's so rich to buy those big black stands.. that cant be folded.. and its so bulky and heavy..

after that, we had sound check.. then spent most of the time waiting.. quite sian actually.. the other ppl get to sit the flyer.. but we didnt.. sadded.. =(

so waited and waited.. but ok la.. cos' chatted with some new friends i made =)

in the end, the whole programme was like cut short.. cos' the VIPs' speeches overshot i guessed.. and.. the presentation of the trophies were so long..-.-

then finally our turn, we only played like 3 songs.. and the end..

carried the instruments back.. actually wanted to leave from there.. but i didnt know how to go to the MRT.. and it was quite late le.. so followed their bus back.. and guess wad.. by the time we reached TP, it was like 12am+..

helped to move back the instruments.. and finally took cab with 2 of the TPCO members and their advisor.. good thing is I didnt need to fork out money.. phew~

ok la.. its been so long since i felt the orchestra feeling.. I can see that TPCO members are quite bonded and cooperative.. everyone didnt really complain or wanted to go home from the venue there..i can say almost all ended up going back and helping out with the instruments.. it's so unlike SPCO la..

hmmm..i miss poly days again.. having CO camps in SP.. going to the cruise..Redang Island.. chalets..=(

but i know missing it doesnt help..

we have to move forward.. and i shall look forward to a new environment in year 2009!

luckily tmr no work.. so tired.. gonna sleep soon once my hair is dried.. tmr needa prac dizi le..!

jia you! ^^

Dear Diary,

I realised recently I've been blogging about so many unhappy things.. but today all the unhappiness shall stop here..

I'm really very happy today.. going out with him.. =)

I guess that nothing else is more worth it and important than both of our friendship.. so lets all just forget about the quarrels and unhappiness and look forward to more happiness and happiness and happy things..heeheehee..

=)

Thanks a lot, Raymond =D

I'll pray for your back to heal soon.. So Buddha, God, Allah.. please Bless and protect my DEAREST friend's back to recover soon!! Its really a painful burden just like my jaw.. but worse than it.. Thank You!! Also.. God of Fortune, please Bless us both with lots of Good Luck and Fortune..haha!! More money rolling in.. haha.. or drop from the sky..=P Thank You!! ^^

i'm so looking forward to that day.. im sure it'll be the happiest day of my life..haha!!

how i wish i can share half of your pain and burden with you../.\

miss ya..=))



Also not forgetting about Regina and my other friends and colleague-Sally, who have cheered me up, listened to all my complains and sadness for the past 1 week.. I guess also partly cos of my PMS that's why I was so irritated..=x THANK YOU ALL! Yesterday's singing lesson was great.. had a good time laughing and seeing everyone smiling and happy ^^

Dear Diary,

recently the God of Bad Luck has been blessing me.. -.-

finally felt the feeling of being outcasted.. where everyone was invited.. even those not belonging to the same section were also invited.. and even the ones who had left and the newcomers were also invited.. haix.. this feelings sucks.. but who cares.. kinda regretted buying his birthday present for him.. so weird person.. -.- that time email also didnt include my name.. not that im being sensitive.. but its the fact.. maybe im being outcasted in his list.. hai.. still need to tahan till end of the month!!!! >.<" i'd rather stay at home and rot..

in the morning already was in a foul mood.. followed by some more unhappy things..

argh!! so pissed off.. irritated..

nothing to do also.. >.<"

thinking back about sun's perf.. the feelings sucks again..

argh.....

^#$^*(@&@(@^@%^*@&@*(!!@!@

Dear Diary,

Didnt know why.. when I stepped out of my house on the way to WTC for practice with Victor, I had a really bad omen.. Like when I wanted to cross the road, suddenly a car drove so fast.. then when i wanted to walk through, the taxi started to move.. -.- and i was late for prac..

haix.. yesterday's 4th performance at WTC.. i screwed up.. I really disappointed Esther and everyone else.. I felt so angry with myself.. i've been performing for 4 times already and I still couldnt do a good job.. messed up everything..

I wanted to sing well.. wanted to show Esther, myself and everyone else that i would do a good job and put more emotions to my songs.. and that i'm trying to improve on my singing and stage presence and whatever she had taught us in class.. but didnt know why the moment I got onto stage, I was totally lost for words!

Even the words I said didnt make sense.. BROKEN CHINESE! /.\

I think I need to take up chinese lessons.. haix.. didnt even know how to phrase my sentences properly..

Then when i started to sing.. i couldnt get into the mood.. and i felt my singing was quite horrible.. I felt that I could do a better job.. but I didnt..

Then I also didnt know what to say.. cos' we had to communicate and entertain the audiences.. Raymond was also lost for words.. and I was so stressed cos' I didnt know what topics to talk about.. and I didnt really know a lot of the singers' background or the song background etc.. I was scared that he would blame me again.. like the previous time when he wanted to ask me some questions but i gave him a close ans..

I tried to ask him some questions.. but maybe I said out of the point.. and then suddenly he interrupted me and said whether could he begin his next song or not..

Then just before our last duet song, the time was still early.. so we decided to invite Tai Wei (last min special guest) up to stage to perform one song.. cos' Raymond actually asked him whether he would like to come up and sing later, before our perf.. and he agreed..

But one important thing we didnt realise was to ask Victor whether he had the guitar score of the song that Tai Wei wanted to sing.. Then when Tai Wei came up, Victor didnt had the score.. so ended up him singing and playing guitar..

Haix.. Then our last duet song was badly sung.. we rushed the song..

Worst still.. Both of us didnt know how to end the whole perf.. I was waiting for Raymond to say something.. but he told me to say.. then I was so stressed and nervous till I just said 'Good Night'.. and we left.. haix..

Then Esther was quite angry with us and scolded us for ending the perf so abruptly.. and commented that we kept rushing for our last song.. After that Simon and Esther left.. haix.. I knew that they were very disappointed in us.. so after that Neo helped us by singing one last song and ended the perf nicely.. by announcing to the audiences about our perf at WTC every sun and Thanked them..

I couldnt control myself again.. so I teared and gave a big scare to Sky..

hai.. why am i so emotional.. i just couldnt control la.. i know crying doesnt solve the problem.. but i just felt like crying.. cos' everything's just bottled up inside and its super uncomfortable..

But Neo and Sky explained to us and told us our mistakes and etc.. at least we learned a big lesson last night..

On the way back..i felt so strange.. I know Raymond was feeling very down and had no mood...But seeing him so sad, i tried to talk to him about other subjects.. so to make him happier..and myself happier.. but he didnt seem to wanna talk.. and worse still..he kept msging other ppl..

felt so strange..he like treated me as if i was not there.. i know both of us already felt so disappointed in ourselves.. but then...

haix.. couldnt control again.. cos the more silent it got, the more i thought back about the earlier perf..and I felt that I was the one to be blamed for everything.. like i've dragged him down with me..

Was so looking forward to yesterday's perf cos' we get to sing together again.. thought no more chance to partner with him le.. cos' Esther told us that she was going to partner us with someone with more experience instead..

but then.. instead of making it a success and seeing him having more confidence in himself.. it ended like that..

This morning on the way for Dizi lesson.. I msged Esther and apologised to her.. But i'm really relieved and glad that she replied and was not angry with us. We'll work hard on our stage presence and not repeat our mistakes again! Thank You Esther, Neo and Sky and everyone else who cheered us up!

Haix.. today Hong Lao Shi said that I blow dizi till no feeling.. mono.. no dynamics.. im getting depressed again.. i have about 1.5months before the competition!!

I definitely would not ever ever ever want my competition to screw up like yesterday's perf!!

How can i put my feelings into my songs???

im so tired../.\

Dear Diary,

hmm.. today's make up lesson's cancelled..=( so got to wait till 6pm before meeting up at WTC.. hope everything will turn out well later..

I love this song.. Fields of Hope.. super touching!! =)))) Enjoy..

Lyrics:

konna ni tsumetai tobari no fukaku de
anata wa hitori de nemutteru
inori no utagoe sabishii nohara wo
chiisa na hikari ga terashiteta

anata no yume wo miteta
kodomo no you ni waratteta
natsukashiku mada tooku
sore wa mirai no yakusoku

itsuka midori no asa ni
itsuka tadoritsukeru to
fuyugareta kono sora wo
shinjiteiru kara
Fields of hope

umarete kita hi ni dakishimete kureta
yasashii ano te wo sagashiteru
inori no utagoe hitotsu kiete mata hajimaru
tayorinaku setsunaku tsuzuku

itsuka midori no asa e
subete no yoru wo koete
sore wa tada hitori zutsu
mitsukete yuku basho dakara

ima wa tada kono mune de
anata wo atatametai
natsukashiku mada tooi
yasuragi no tame ni
Fields of hope

natsukashiku mada tooi
yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

3 more weeks to next photoshoot.. oh dear.. i must be motivated and determined to lose weight within 3 weeks!! bought a slimming chilli gel 2 days ago.. looks quite good.. cos' was shown on tv.. then when i used it.. oh man! the chilli 'hotness' lasted throughout the whole night!! >.<" Hopefully it'll burn off all my excess fats..whaha!

my face is another problem.. recently also bought some facial towel and toner, facial wash, pimple gel.. hopefully my face will return back to normal soon.. so many pimples now >.<" So happy to see my blackheads coming out.. when i used the blackhead plaster thingy on my nose..whaha!

eat lesser.. need to start exercising le.. argh~!!

tired.. haix..

so troubled too.. /.\

Dear Diary,

Today had my 2nd and last dance class.. i love the instructor.. cos' he is so humourous and a great dancer!! but sadly.. i still danced like an elephant.. sigh~ maybe i'm not suitable for dancing ba.. so tired.. haix.. but I enjoyed the dance class alot!

might be thinking of changing one song 'lydia' to another one.. hmm.. what song should i choose to sing..

Dear Diary,

YAY !!! My sound system ok le.. all thanks to Yik Loong!! who asked me to reinstall my motherboard.. and ok le!! yay! im super happy now! whahahaha!!

later gonna meet chiew hsia to chat and drink.. yeah!! whahaha!

Esther just msged me ask me to sing next sunday at WTC again..
i'll be singing the same 3 songs.. i sung during 2nd time..but with Sky this time..stressed! haha

they are: Lydia, Ting Hai and Wo Bu Nan Guo =D

I will do my best to sing better this time round!

gambate joyce!!

tmr is our 2nd and last dance class.. hope i dun dance like an elephant this time round.. =x

Dear Diary,

it's been so long since I stayed at home on a Saturday.. today seemed so empty and weird..maybe i'm used to going out le ba..actually wanted to go out with my poly friends but they had projects to do in school.. i seem to be the very free one.. so William came to my house this afternoon.. listened to my competition piece.. and gave some comments.. then we also chatted a lot..haha.. its been so long since we chatted..

then i hate my bro.. he is mad.. so late le still sleeping.. hao bu rong yi.. i got time to practice my dizi.. and he started screaming when i blew.. and its not as if i blow till so nan ting or wad.. >.<"

my sis also.. i know no matter how much we talk or explain to her she won't listen de.. so from now on, i shall not bother about what she wanna do.. just give her all the freedom she wants.. i shall not care anymore.. treat her so nice.. she still doesnt understand..haix.. wash my hands off her.. Perhaps I will have a more enjoyable time if I don't worry so much.. leave them all as they are.. cos' its our own choice whether we want to change for the better or not.. it won't help at all if we just keep on scolding or reminding them but things are still the same and doesnt get any better at all..

haix.. my desktop computer de sound card i suspect spoil le.. /.\

When i wanna play my music, i only can hear the background music.. cant hear the vocals.. though i on the loudest le.. the whole sound becomes so muffled.. and then i thought my speakers spoil.. but when i plugged my headphones into my CPU, also the same.. then checked settings.. but didnt put any EQ or wad..

ARGH~ >.<"

Damn pissed off!!

can anyone help me?? /.\

monday gonna train newcomer le.. cant take leave next week!! endure 1 more month and i'm free le.......