Dear Diary,

so tired! today cleaned up the house whole day.. -.- now holiday le.. very sian.. actually thought i found a part time teaching job already. but last min my ex-lecturer said the sch wanna cut budget so next week dun need me to help teach the students software le.. hai.. =( wanna find a job soon! got any recommendations? For the past 2 days went shopping.. Finally bought my new yr clothes already. But only bought 3 shirts.. think i'm gonna save the rest of my money for taiwan trip on 15 march! yeah!! hai.. don't know why.. my father's so weird.. said he supported me to go overseas study but recently kept saying things that make me hesitate and confused. Can i really support myself when im there all alone? Don't know why..since last yr i've been falling sick like almost every month or two.. will i be able to survive there especially with the super cold weather and their 4 seasons change? Then my father's keep complaining and worrying.. say his bank left half the money he used to have.. then complain his health also becoming bad.. Should i continue studying? or just go out work to support my family.. Sometimes really pity my father.. he's the only one who supports this family. But i cant do anything to help him.. just keep taking money from him. Thinking that if im going keele uni, im sure going to make him broke soon. though it's only 2 yrs.. but the expenses there are so high.. haix.. how i wish faster win 4-D or TOTO..hahaha!! Then thinking.. go local uni also need to study like 3-4yrs.. also need money.. but dun need the extra accomodation fees... argh! go work's the best la.. haha.. dUnno leh! i was thinking how about go straight to NTU study education.. then become teacher.. every month got free allowance.. free tuition fees.. everything free.. just need to bond.. but bond=stable job. haha.. argh >.< im so darn confused la!